Man love.

Korea is a nation that fosters a serious sense of man love. There is none of this arch-agro, anti affection sentiment in the male population, like, for example, that which defines most American male relationships. Nope, it seems to me that men here love the fact that they're men, and have strong desires to congratulate each on the fact.

Men here have a very touch-centered nature. They seem to constantly grasp/graze/clasp each others shoulders, faces, upper legs, and of course, hands. Hugs are also a much more ornate practice in Korea. I've found that one thing separates a Western hug and a Korean hug: head placement. In the good old US of A, we guys usually give a stiff hug with lots of arm/chest action, with heads fully erect, staring over each other's shoulder. Korean men burrow their heads into the neck, which really emphasizes the emotional connection they share as gender compatriots. You must understand that American manhugs are not meant to be an emotional affair. After all, that would be decidedly wimpy.

Physical closeness is a trend that clearly begins at an early age with Korean men. Hand holding, hugging, and walking with arms-around-shoulders is a common sight with all my boy students. My favorite boy-love (that feels terrible to type) display goes like this. Two boy students will sit one in front of the other in a row, with the front boy sitting at an angle, and gently placing his hand on the desk and in the hand of the boy in back. It's important to also emphasize that these boys will be engaged in class, eyes on the board, but still in the throws of a casual hand hold.

Korean men often vocally embrace each other as well. Up front comments on another man's attractiveness are totally common here. I can't even begin to quantify the number of times small boys and grown men alike have openly called me "handsome." Now, I mention this not out of vanity, but because it is an experience that almost all my male friends share. American guys; just imagine meeting another dude on neutral terms, and him making casual observations about your physical appearance. You would be taken aback right? Well, it's all part of a general sense of frankness which is totally the norm.

It's invaluable to mention that, despite their physical openness, Korean men are absolutely macho, and homophobic more often than not. Though Korea is a generally modern nation, it is still socially conservative. I'm pretty sure you could count Korea's gay bars on one hand, and I doubt you could find any outside of Seoul. Furthermore, women here hardly get a fair shake.

Don't get me wrong, women work, they have agency in the dating world, and they have many of the same legal protections that western women do. But, for example, you would never see a woman principle. There is an enormous discrepancy in pay scale between the sexes that goes unchecked. It is improper for women to smoke cigarettes in public (they do it in bathrooms). It is improper for women to drink alcohol in the company of men outside of bars/clubs. It is almost unheard of for a woman to hold a prestigious leadership position in business or politics. This antiquated cultural sexism only facilitates rampant man love. It's like Korean men all believe they are part of some elite club, and must congratulate each other on their achievement.

I think there's nothing wrong with a little man love. Friendships are perhaps the most important relationships anyone can have, so why not feed them with a little TLC? I think that the American man's reticence to physically emote is born out of some misplaced sense of insecurity. As if there's any logical connection between wanting to hug a friend and fuck him? Come on, we're a little more advanced than that. Am I wrong my yankee brethren?