May 30, 2009

The Obama Story

All elementary school English teachers must make a visit to the local English Zone twice a year. This entails hanging out with a group of kids in different simulated environments, and having the same scripted discourse with each and every single one of them. I finished my time there last semester thinking - on account my co teacher telling me so - that I would never have to bare this torture again. That was nothing but a cruel tease. I did have to return, and it was just as mind-numbingly tedious as the first time. However, there was one thing that kept this recent experience at least a little exciting: The Obama Story.

I discovered The Obama Story almost immediately on my first day back. There it lay, quietly calling to me amongst all the other banal preparatory English texts. 'Could this be real?' I thought. 'No way!' But sure enough, it was everything I imagined it could be. A Korean-American author and Korean illustrator had basically put together a graphic novel depicting Barack Obama's life. It is amazing. Just imagine taking someone's very real life and putting it through some sort of anime playdough-shaper. In this case, we have the magical gift to life known as The Obama Story.

Here is the cover and some selected pages to whet your appetite.






(notice this is where he meets Michelle...)

Does the President or any of his people know this exists? I've seen a lot of things in Korea, but this ranks way up there in almost all categories... hilarity, ridiculousness, awkwardness, etc etc...

(Do yourself a favor and zoom in on that text if you can't read it. Korea!)

May 29, 2009

I Caved (Phish - Harry Hood - 10.21.95)



1:30 - 8:45 is really all that matters. It's not for everyone, but goddamn is it powerful for those in its grasp... myself included.

Enjoy your weekend!

May 28, 2009

Pugilistic Proclivities


I know that I've already detailed my students' love for violent physical contact, but I feel that I must update now that their tactics have changed. Yes, the hitting still goes down. However, I've realized that most of the intra-student hitting has been confined to girl on boy situations. Boys, for the most part, are not assaulting each other with the viciousness that they recieve from the girls. But, the boys are most definitely still hurting each other.

I've noticed a massive uptick in what I call 'pain games' amongst the dudes. Now I don't want to make it seem like these are a phenomenon unique to Korea. I absolutely played my fair share of bloody knuckles and indian rug burn when I was a little son-of-a-bitch. Little boys fuck around in the same way that small animals do. It's fun, sure, but there's a tangible proving ground element as well. All boys want to know who can hit the hardest, run the fastest, and take the most pain. It's part of growing up, though, it's somewhat disquieting that these tendencies really never leave most men. If anything, they just get watered down with maturity. I can't believe that they ever fully die.

Korean 'pain games' are pretty standard. The two most popular are 'the two finger stinger' and 'the third eye'- as I call them. In the 'stinger,' two opponents will square off in a wicked rock/paper/scissors match, and the loser must take bare a well-practiced two-finger slap to the bound underbelly of the forearm. 'The third eye,' which I consider to be much more unfortunate, is also based off a r/p/s match, only this time the loser must take a vicious finger flick (think paper football) to the forehead. For some reason that seems like the absolute opposite of pleasant. A finger slap I can take, but an unchecked flick to my face... fucking forget about it!

I can't emphasize enough how commonplace these games are on a daily basis. I bet I could look up from this screen right now and see at least two games going on. Yes! Literally, right now there are four games happening around me, including one mixed-gender game - a pretty progressive move on the part of the players. But like so many things in elementary school, I get the distinct sense that these games are all part of a fad. Like pogs and Tickle-me-Elmo, I'm sure these pain games will blow away in the next few weeks. Fads, like pain games themselves, are certainly not confined to one part of the globe.

Finally, I want to shed light on the one difference I've seen between Korean pain games and American pain games: the amount of tears shed. In Korean pain games, someone inevitably cries. This is concrete. Now, in America I feel that nagging parents would have nipped this all in the bud by saying, "Don't start this, because one of you will surely start crying!" But Korean parenting doesn't work that way. Many women here have told me that parents' views on fighting are much more laissez faire. In short, many parents believe that fighting is natural, and that basic rough-housing provides an opportunity for personal growth. And how does that ethos manifest itself? Korean kids are fighting/hitting/flicking each other ALL THE TIME. And, like I said, one boy in the group will always cry.

So it's gotten to the point where I no longer care about kids crying, and I don't know how I should feel about it. On one hand, I partially agree that kids should learn some conflict resolution skills by actually getting their hands dirty. Parents could never simulate the intense pressure of having to face down a peer without a safety net - which is something every child will have to do sooner or later. On the other hand, a kid crying is a kid who's very very unhappy. Isn't it my role as a teacher to keep my students as happy as possible? It's a very bizarre situation. But then again - as I keep reminding myself - I'm not in Kansas anymore.

May 27, 2009

Help

I want to find a band that equals Lettuce in terms of funk mastery. I am eagerly accepting recommendations now...

(yes, I've already heard Soulive, but I haven't travelled outside of Turn it Out. I could go deeper at your behest...)

May 26, 2009

It's on the books.


There's one thing I've fantasized about all this year, and now I can officially mark it on a calendar. On September 8, 2009 I will return to my second home - the magnificent, the inspired, the marvel that is the great state of Vermont.

May 25, 2009

Dynamic Ulleung-do


There's not many places in Korea I want to visit more than the island of Ulleung. Korea's two major island destinations are Ulleung and Jeju - with the former being the less travelled, less exotic, and generally less appealing option. It is for this reason that I'm excited to go there.

Ulleung's main draw to Koreans, ironically, is another island. It is only from Ulleung that you can access Dokdo - Korea's football field-sized land dispute with Japan. Koreans are obsessed with Dokdo, but I detailed that in a previous post. I imagine I will be one of the few on my trip who has really no interest in taking the viewing tour of the embattled island, and I couldn't be happier about that.

Ulleung fascinates me because it is a perpetually overlooked island community in a country that gives no mind to also-rans. There's almost no appreciation for hidden treasures here, and I find that stifling. That's what Ulleung is to me. Or, at least what I hope it will be. I have no idea how I'll make it up there with my schedule, but I'm damn sure going to try.

Anyway, Korea's 'official' tourism website has a write-up that is not to be missed. Readers take note: this is a typical Korean tourist propaganda. Nobody here has any sense that Korea's English tourism slogans are totally bizarre. For example, Korea's national English slogan is 'Korea Sparkling.' What?! The city of Busan went with this gem: 'Dynamic Busan.' Again, what?! Hey, they're trying, and that's what matters. I must always remind myself that. Sorry, I digress. Here's the first paragraph of the tourism website's write up. It's certainly not what sold me, but maybe some other people out there will get pumped about Ulleung's 'three fews, and five manys.'

A mysterious island full of dreams and romance, Ullengdo can be reached by a three-hour ferry ride from Mukho or Pohang. It is famous for being a land of three fews and five manys: there are no thieves, pollution, and snakes, but many Juniper trees, beautiful women and stones as well as much wind and water.

Beyond Whistler


In a surprsing move, Ethan Hawke wrote a startlingly good piece on one of his heroes in last month's Rolling Stone. The subject - Kris Kristofferson - is as inspiring as any one man could be. He is a man who can hardly thank luck for anything he has achieved. His success is the direct result of a seemingly unbridled talent, and cast iron sense of self. Despite past shortcomings, he seems to have emerged as integrity embodied.

We meet our hero backstage at a birthday bash for Willie Nelson in the not too distant past. The story that follows is as righteous and rock and roll as anything I've read in the pages of this hallowed rock rag. I found it so amusing that I just had to include it below. If you like what you've read, then I heavily suggest you head over to rollingstone.com for the rest. Enjoy.

Standing backstage at the Beacon Theatre in New York, leaning against a crumbling brick wall in the dark, I could barely see Kris Kristofferson standing to my left. Willie Nelson was in the shadows to my right. Ray Charles was standing beside Willie, idly shifting his weight back and forth. A bit farther along the wall were Elvis Costello, Wyclef Jean, Norah Jones, Shelby Lynne, Paul Simon and respective managers, friends and family. Everybody was nervous and tight. We were there for Willie Nelson's 70th birthday concert in 2003.

Up from the basement came one of country music's brightest stars (who shall remain nameless). At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age.

"Happy birthday," the Star said to Willie, breezing by us. As he passed Kristofferson in one long, confident stride, out of the corner of his mouth came "None of that lefty shit out there tonight, Kris."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Kris growled, stepping forward.

"Oh, no," groaned Willie under his breath. "Don't get Kris all riled up."

"You heard me," the Star said, walking away in the darkness.

"Don't turn your back to me, boy," Kristofferson shouted, not giving a shit that basically the entire music industry seemed to be flanking him.

The Star turned around: "I don't want any problems, Kris — I just want you to tone it down."

"You ever worn your country's uniform?" Kris asked rhetorically.

"What?"

"Don't 'What?' me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer." He paused just long enough to get a full chest of air. "I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, no, you have not. Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not. So shut the fuck up!" I could feel his body pulsing with anger next to me. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about!"

"Whatever," the young Star muttered.

Ray Charles stood motionless. Willie Nelson looked at me and shrugged mischievously like a kid in the back of the classroom.
Kristofferson took a deep inhale and leaned against the wall, still vibrating with adrenaline. He looked over at Willie as if to say, "Don't say a word." Then his eyes found me.

"You know what Waylon Jennings said about guys like him?" he whispered.
I shook my head.
"They're doin' to country music what pantyhose did to finger-fuckin'."

May 21, 2009

200th Post.


So I've made it this far with Hyundaiprop blog, and I'm proud of that. Well, sort of. Not too long ago I thought blogs were for self-important hacks, so maybe that's what I've become. Either way, I can't think of a better way to celebrate than exposing the world to Pete Postlewaite - a great actor, and the reason I so often win games of celebrity trivia.

Did you know?


I once dated a girl in high school who was obsessed with Aerosmith's Joe Perry. I had never really given him much thought, though I found it strangely endearing that this blonde high-school chick was so into a middle aged man. In retrospect, I'm not sure that it said anything good about her, but at the time I thought it made her exotic. Reality taught me that her J. Perry crush was actually a manifestation of the way she lived her life: constantly questing after some romantic ideal that was completely unpractical. But that was then, and now I haven't spoken to her in 6 years, save a few facebook correspondences.

Anyway, I got thinking about her, so I wikipedia'd (another bizarre 21st century verb) Joe Perry. Some may think that a bizarre move, but it made total sense to me. I'm actually really glad I did, because I found out a totally out-there fact about the man who Rolling Stone magazine claims is in the top 60 guitarists of all time. He routinely records songs playing a six-string bass like a guitar - chords and all. So think about that the next time you're pumping your fist to "Train Kept-a-Rolling."

p.s. - Keith Richards used to remove the low E string from his guitar, so as not to disrupt from his velveteen leads. That, and he was probably trashed all the time, and knew that he might tap a booming E in the middle of a slop-fest solo. Good times.

Steve Earle - Coppertown


Steve Earle - Coppertown

Before he was a voice of reason on "The Wire", Steve Earle was writing some of America's most cogent and politically charged folk rock. I had known of his work for some time, but never took the plunge. You know how it goes.

Discovering illegal downloading changed this, and finally allowed me to pursue the fringe of my interests by removing stinginess as an excuse. Don't get me wrong, I think buying music is important. We spend money everyday on things we resent, so why not occasionally drop some bills on something like music - an item whose sole purpose is to give us joy? I feel that small, upcoming artists need my money, whereas Earle doesn't. But I could be wrong on both accounts. My point is that I would have waited months before I could financially justify buying this album, and it's an all around good thing that I didn't have to.

Rhetoric aside, Coppertown is as solid an album as their could be. The vibe is consistent, the songs are strong, and the lyrics are as pure as the salt Earle himself comes from. Though it is certainly not for everyone. Indie rock fans may be turned off by the overtly radio-ready production. It's true that certain songs scream "John Mellencamp's opener". But make no mistake, this is much smarter than anything that makes it's living on FM or John Mellencamp's coat-tails.

Is this Harpya?

On Tuesday I gave my 5th/6th grade afterschool class a mad lib. The idea was for them see what a possible phone conversation might look like in English. I gave them the structure, and they were supposed to fill in various nouns, adjectives, and verbs. For example, A: I want to cook _________ tonight, but I don't have any _____________. B: Oh that's ok, I have a lot of ____________________. I think you get the picture.

I told the kids to be creative, and that they could literally put anything they wanted in the boxes, no matter how ridiculous. Making sense was not exactly the point. However, this type of brash creativity seemed to startle everyone. The looks on their faces screamed, "you mean, there no right or wrong answer?!?" That notion was completely alien to all of the students... except my man Taek-hyun. I've mentioned Taek-hyun before on this blog, mostly for his butt-poking proclivities. Regardless of his over-active ddooksheens, he is a very smart, creative boy. He's basically a joy to have in class. And unlike everyone else, he had no problem with the mad lib. In fact, he loved it.

Here's a snippet of said mad lib.

A: Hello? Is this "Harpya"?
B: Speaking.
A: Oh, how are you?
B: I'm "hungry". How is your son, "basilisk"?
A: He is "hungry". Thank you for asking.
B: Wow! The weather today is "yellow sand". I'm very "sad" about it.

These are the words of one of Korea's future leaders.

May 18, 2009

Not necessary, but worthy.

It seems as if Hollywood has been on a major remake/refurbish kick for the last several years. Most of these attempts failed horribly. In this case I'm talking about the likes of King Kong, Bad News Bears, Shaft, Four Brothers, The Longest Yard, Planet of the Apes, and dozens more. But sometimes successful remakes happen, timeless stories receive worthy adaptations that keep them socially vibrant. In my opinion, such films include The Thomas Crown Affair, I am Legend, 3:10 to Yuma, and maybe a dozen others. Maybe.

I've recently been watching a spate of older flicks, and I've fantasized about what some of them might look like remade with today's gadgets. Now, any movie is trash with the wrong cast under the wrong director. But, if done right, some of these flicks could be top notch viewing. Here are three that would rock, including a round out of the modern cast.

Bullitt - Brad Pitt, Sienna Miller, Mark Ruffalo, Jon Voight, Richard Jenkins, Ben Affleck (redemptive role)


The Conversation - Christian Bale, James Franco, Paul Giamatti, Brandon Routh, Anne Hathaway, Mickey Rourke (surprise as straight man)


Three Days of the Condor (new name: Condor) - Chris Pine, Freida Pinto, Emilio Estevez (making a triumphant return), William H. Macy, Armand Assante, Shannon Sossamon, Brendon Sexton III


...finally, and I know this is not based in any reality, Richard Linklater will be tapped to helm a subtle remake of "The Big Chill". In doing so he re-unites certain members of the "Dazed and Confused" cast. Therefore...

The Big Chill (new name: Mercer's Bay) - make fun of me later - Matthew McConnaughey, Matt Damon, Adam Goldberg, Casey Affleck, Parker Posey, Charlotte Gainsborough, Sarah Jessica Parker, Mary Louise Parker

May 16, 2009

I Don't Know Who This Is


I have no idea who this guy is or what he does, but just judging from this picture I'd say he's the coolest Korean I've ever seen. Can't you just feel the hipster comtempt oozing out of him?

May 15, 2009

Hangman

All Korean elementary school children go batshit-crazy for hangman. They're are super super pumped to play this game at every opportunity. I use it sparingly, but believe me, there's nothing better in a clutch.

A Typical Scenario in Korea

So today is a national holiday known as 'Teacher's Day' which is, not suprisingly, a celebration of all things teacher. We are showered with gifts that, for me, have ranged from donuts to socks to tooth paste, and general good vibes are sent our way all day. But here's the catch: we must work all day, while the students all get to leave school at noon. What is the logic behind this? My co-teacher claims it's so all the high school and middle school students can visit old teachers at other schools. I mean, what better way to celebrate teachers than let them go home and relax? I guess that's the westerner in me. (grumble).

May 14, 2009

What we're all wondering... thanks Tina.

So I know a person who had been teaching in Seoul for a year, but just left in February. I knew her casually at best, and I certainly had no idea she was a writer. It turns out she's a gifted one at that. She recently made a post on her blog about how it feels to return from the year of doing what we do. In brief, it is marvelous, everything about it. Furthermore, it addresses so many concerns/curiosities I'm having, and I assume others are having as well. These are the things we think about, just framed beautifully. Do yourself a favor and give it a read.

http://christina-fabiano.blogspot.com/

post title: Then I sat on my couch and didn't get up...

Album Rec: Amiina - Kurr


I am and have always been a huge Sigur Ros fan. If you haven't heard them then you should stop reading right now and go buy/download/steal their albums "Takk" and "()". If you are already a fan, and good music to you can correspond with these words - pastoral, searching, organic, contemplative, drifting - then I think it wise to discover Amiina's "Kurr". Oh yea, did I mention they're also Icelandic?

Over the Top


I can't attest for the older set, but I can say this: elementary-age Korean girls love arm wrestling. Well, sorry, all elementary school kids - at least at my school - love to arm wrestle at any turn. I remember this being the case in the US as well. But, I don't remember the girls ever going to palm to palm back home. I couldn't tell you why exactly, it just never seemed like something that was happening - or expected. So right, not the case in Korea.

I bet I can glance up from this screen and see two girls wrestling right now: yep. And it's not a joke for them. It's not like they would do it to impress/entertain a group of boys. My experience shows me that elementary age girls in Korea want 100% nothing to do with boys. It really seems like they detest them, though we all know that's hardly the case. No, these girls go at it to see who's stronger. They're arm wrestling purists, if you will. Though part of me thinks it's more of a self-entertainment thing. It could be that they're seated, maybe a little bored, and an arm wrestle tides them over. I would love some thoughts on the matter. Either way, I've never seen so many wholly earnest female arm wrestling mathces in my life.

A Harsh Reminder


Recently I've been thinking a lot about eating Korean food when i arrive back on US soil. I've grown enormously connected to the food here, and having access to it back home will be an invaluable part of my transition. So I took to the internet to see what my options looked like in the Washington D.C. area. Luckily Korean food is plentiful there, even confusingly so. I don't even know where to start.

While that is a comforting fact, my search has also drummed up unpleasant reminders of the world I am returning to in 3 short months. Koreandc.com is a website that has basically everything a Washingtonian would need if they were seeking out local Korean options. This includes a restaurant listing, and message/review boards for all the places listed. On one board - that for the Han Sung Oak Restaurant - I viewed this exchange.
My sisters and I ate there recently and was greatly disappointed. The service by the waitresses were horrible. In the middle of taking our order, she goes to the table next to us and wait on them. Being Korean ourselves, we've expected better. The food was not even worth it. Never would go back! - Kyung


Kyung. You are stupid. You think that just because you're korean, you should have gotten better service? I'm black, and when I go to South East, I get robbed just the same. FOOL! Besides, this food is awesome! I usually don't eat asian food, but momma told me to try everything at least once! I love that damn KALBI and BULGOGI. That stuff, when you wrap some of that KIMCHEE around that...MMM MMM. I say this again, Kyung, you are really stupid...and so is your momma. - PeteDog
*note - South East is a notoriously rough, heavily black area of Washington.

I love Han Sung Oak, and if ever saw someone like Kyung there being a lil punk, I'd kick his ass. You better buy me a shot when I see you at the clubs, or you're gonna get it. Ahn-young... - HyungJoo


I can't quite pinpoint why this whole exchange bothers me so much. You know, it's probably not that any of them are being out of line. They all probably have legitimate points to be made. Some restaurants subtly favor clientele with the ethnicity of whatever theme they may have. Some restaurants don't. And some restaurants don't give a damn either way. That's all common sense.

I guess what strikes me the most about this whole thing is the bravado oozing from PeteDog and HyungJoo. People just don't talk/act like that here, and I've become accustomed to it. Do I act with bravado and disprespect sometimes? Sure. But does that mean I can't wish to be more reserved and respectful? Absolutely not. Korea has instilled this in me. I guess I've been gone for a long time.

May 12, 2009

What is a lifetime

I just read a story about Paul House, a man who had been on death row since 1985 and was actually released yesterday. That means Paul House had been on death row for almost the exact amount of time I have been alive. Sorry, that's kind of a heady thought. My whole life has unfolded while this man's has stagnated. Whoa.

Rage it.

Couldn't Know Unless you were Here


Koreans do not respond to, nor do they say "Bless you" when they sneeze. It's certainly not because this isn't a religious place. Many many Koreans are Christians who LOVE LOVE LOVE Jesus Christ, and more power to them. But still no acknowledgement of the sneeze. How is it that this happens in North American and not here? And how is it that we North Americans, most of whom are completely indifferent to relgiosity, have become engaged in a social tic that has us spouting non-secular jargon in the event of a nasal discharge?

English Zone Blues

Korea's national English program is absolutely a point of contention with teachers here. Many agree with President Lee Myung bak that English is a tool the Korean people can use to gain a foothold in the international discussion. On the flip side, many teachers feel that asking students to learn a language they, or their parents, may feel indifferent to is arbitrary, inefficient, and unfortunate. I've asked scores of teachers how they feel on the issue, and so far their responses have been more or less down the middle. However, there is one issue all English teachers summarily resent: English Zones.

Koreans love the right gear in all pursuits, and the teaching of English is no different. If you're going to do something, you should be sure you're doing it with the best, flashiest accoutrements. Thus, education ministries across Korea are giving schools thousands of dollars to create what they call English Zones. These are basically room-sized diagrams of situations that would require English - the airport, a restaurant, a supermarket, a hotel. Once hired by schools, private companies will come in, make two rooms into one, and completely redesign these once-humble classrooms into gaudy, wholly artificial play sets that are supposed to promote English. I've always felt they just promote role-playing, but maybe that's the idea. Anyway, the English teachers (read: Korean English teachers) of Ulsan are up in arms because their ministry has asked them, and them alone to organize the entire construction of their school's English Zone.

These are people (mostly women) who went to college for education. They don't know anything about organizing a faux supermarket, and nor should they. My poor co-teacher, Sun Jung, has been stressed for months over the project. She routinely meets with contractors and building companies and basically gets talked at. Now, she's a total pro. I have no doubt she can pull this off. But still, it should never have been her responsibility in the first place. But, these English Zones are a really interesting microcosm for the whole English program here.

There's no precedent in Korea for how to organize a national curriculum of this nature. So how do things go forward? People make decisions based on educated guesses and/or assumptions. But here's the problem: individual teachers have no avenue to lodge a complaint/criticism if they feel something is not working. Korea's hierarchical ways reign supereme in all aspects of society, and the education world is no different. And now these English Zones have created a community of anxious, overworked teachers who feel consumed by a project they neither understand, or necessarily agree with. Furthermore, nothing will change unless, by chance, the suits basking in the ministries just happen to feel that a change must be necessary. Until then, Korean English teachers will dutifully teach as they're told to, even if they know better.

Though I don't want it to seem as if I'm complaining. I know my tone is critical, but I know even less about the zones than Sun Jung does. Maybe studies have been done that prove their efficacy. I don't know. I also don't want it to seem as if I'm knocking Korea's hierarchical ways. Confucianism, which is essentially the moral and social code of Korea, is built on fixed hierarchical relationships. These relationships will never disappear in Korean society. Everyone seems to accept that, so I can as well. It just gets back to that idea I harp on all the time: not better or worse, just different.

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 10



This man, while still very attractive sans shirt, actually made earnest attempts at real acting. I still like him either way, but I'm just saying... Regardless, nothing he does from now to eternity could detract from the sheer mastery that is David Wooderson. Times were simple. Life was good.

Absence of negatives

awkwardfamilyphotos.com... you're welcome.

May 8, 2009

Jerry Douglas - medley


I mention Jerry Douglas in the below post, and it occurs to me that some, if not most, of you have no idea who he is. This video should do all the explaining. He is probably one of the most brilliant musicians I've ever come across. Many, including Alison Krauss, go as far as calling him the greatest dobro play "the world has ever known." I've certainly not heard better.

Let's head up to Uke in the booth


So I recently recieved a Ukulele and I basically can't keep my hands off it. Today I walked the full 15 minutes from school clutching it and playing different chord progressions. Some people smiled, some frowned, and some took their shirts off. Ok, that was only me. Not really. Anyway, I can tell I'm about to learn dozens of songs on this thing, and my fascination only seems to be growing. I stumbled across this guy Jake Shimabukuro who I understand is something like the Jerry Douglas of the ukulele, and while he's pretty clearly a goober, his playing is damn fine. Enjoy.

May 6, 2009

A Night out with the Co-workers


Korean school staffs take many lunch/dinner trips out. Some are paid by the principle, and some are split by one of the teachers at the table. Koreans don't go dutch. It's just not their style. Usually, in my experience, the person who makes the most money will foot the bill. Thankfully most lunches or dinners out will be at a barbecue joint, and the costs will never get too crazy.

The consumption of soju, on the other hand, does tend to get a bit crazy, especially at the dinners. Many foreign teachers will tell you that you haven't really communed with your school staff here unless you've hit the 'soj' with them at dinner. It's an awesome experience for the most part. People's lips get a bit looser, you'll hear English from people you had no idea spoke it, and merriment will genuinely be had by all. But don't assume that the fun ends with the bill, it almost never does.

Koreans know how to keep things going late into the night, and that almost invariably means noraebong (singing room). Have I discussed noraebong yet on this blog? If I haven't then that's a true crime. In brief, Koreans love noraebongs just as much as they love soju. These are not karaoke bars per se. They are enclosed rooms where you take a group and indulge in some private karaoke, plus the lyrics are shown on a wall-sized tv screen instead of a dinky 12-inch. It's very intense. Sometimes it's fun, but it's one very Korean thing I feel will always remain theirs, and probably theirs alone.

Anyway, you'll almost always hit the noraebong post-dinner. Everyone will be soused, and in a perfect place to belt out their favorite meladramatic Korean ballad. The presence of a lone foreigner is exciting because we bring the English hits to the fore. This is one case where my pseudo-music snobbery really hurts me. I always feel as if I can't lower myself to ripping a top 40 ballad, which is ofcourse what everyone wants. Furthermore, I'm usually pretty in the dark about the melody from most of these tunes. So sue me, I've never really been a top 40 guy. But this is the worst ramble in the history of this blog.

People are drunk at the noraebong, and usually secrets get told and bold moves get made. For example, I was told about a staff crush at my last Mipo elementary noraebong run. I never capitalized, but I certainly would have never been told in any other situation. It's like the noraebong doubles as a sacred space where you can say or do anything and it will go unjudged. I could really think for hours about the social implications/symbolism of the noraebong in Korean culture.

This whole post came to be because I read a facebook status from my friend Kerry which perfectly described a typical night like this. So after long last, here it is...

Kerry Maher > Sam Kuntz: We drank many alcohols at dinner! I think the competition mode was still in play after the volleyball game (side note: these are always a solid reason to hit the dinner/norae scene). After the two schools split up after dinner, our principal and vice-principal "commanded" we go to singing room and I ended up drinking "love-shots" with the vice principal. After THAT, we went to a hof and two teachers who have been flirting for six months finally took the plunge and.......held hands. Everyone was so happy for them.

A Joy

The parents brought me a full bag of Frosted Mini Wheats, and I just had a very emotional time pouring my first bowl in nearly 8 months. Am I the first person ever to be on the verge of tears over a bowl of cereal?

May 5, 2009

You think you know

I had no school this past Monday and Tuesday, plus my parents were in town, so we took a nice long weekend on a far-flung island in the south sea. I had a lot to be excited about. Obviously my parents visit meant a lot to me, and I felt enormous pride in my role as a tour guide around this bizarre, albeit wondrous country. I had also never been to the southern islands. Any map of Korea will show you that pretty much the entire southern coast is lined with islands of various sizes, and living in a city gives you basically no clue as to how they are. While I couldn't have known what to expect, I had a sinking fear that the southern coast's supposed beauty was a guide book fiction, and that the trappings of modern Korea - love motels, barbecue joints, dingy hofs, family marts - had swept away any remaining bucolic wonder.

The southern sea is, in fact, very very beautiful. Of course you'll see the hofs and such here and there, but somehow tastefulness has held out in large extent. I needed the surprise, and my parents - who were fresh off a stay in Maui - needed to see that Korea could crank up the splendor after all. I had bitterly warned them that the whole country was too city-centered to breed any sort of worthwhile tourist attraction in its rural areas. This may be true in land, but is certainly not the case where we were. My shock was palpable, and absolutely necessary. My curiosity in Korea has been reinvigorated.

Our weekend provided me with tons of stories for my city crew, but one stands out as the most informative. My folks and I took down a great bottle of red wine in full view of an ocean sunset on our last night. It was cliche and lovely and all that bullshit, yea yea. Anyway, these two Korean boys - I assume they are brothers - burst through the deck doors and began chasing each other around our table. None of us really minded, and I saw it as a good chance for my parents to see that Korean kids are not always the hardened, worker drones they can sometimes be. Not long after their appearance, a Korean man who was clearly their father emerged and summoned them back in to join the family at dinner. I didn't expect much from him in the way of communication, just perhaps an awkward smile with a subtle, apologetic bow. Not the case. In crystal clear, unaccented English the man says, "Hey I'm really sorry for these kids. I hope they weren't a problem. I'm bringing them in right now." And all of a sudden we're on any other hotel patio in America's mid Atlantic region. We were taken aback and he knew it. It was an undeniably surreal moment.

But I learned something very valuable. My friends and I - really, me in particular - must make a much better effort to censor ourselves in public places. It's no secret that many of us have grown comfortable with the idea that nobody around here can follow our English at its natural cadence. Sure, many people you meet in Korea will probably know a manageable amount of English. But will they inevitably ask you to slow down if you speak at your comfortable converstation speed? Yes, absolutely. I always believed - though I was always loathe to admit it - that this gave me a degree of carte blanche in public conversation. That is a habit I will now break because of my experience with that man. In a crowded Ulsan bus I would have had no way of telling that he was any different from all the other middle aged dudes who know 10 English sentences. And god knows what I might have said in front of him. I will not let false assumptions about others' English ability allow me to further anyone's negative stereotypes about foreigners. My bus rides just became a lot more boring.