Dec 31, 2008

Koreans work harder than you pt. 2

Today I told my students that they would be free of homework because it's a holiday. Did this make my students happy? No. 3/4 of my kids wanted work. Who turns down two nights of no work? Korean children.

My quaint new years eve.


2008's NYE will be a mellow one for me. I am stuck in Ulsan in the bonds of an old promise to watch a friend's dog. Do random acts of kindness still warrant good karma if they were doled out while under the influence? I sure as fuck hope so.

Though, I'm considering hitting the Ulsan scene. There are about a dozen bars I could go to right now, and most likely there would be a good scene there. But is a NYE something worth gambling? The rub is that all my friends are in Seoul... where I would be if it wasn't for Snuzzler the dog (yes, that is his real name). Am I unhealthy and anti-social because I think a night in with good music and delicious glasses of OrJu (above) is a good thing? All you screwdriver (vodka+OJ) fans out there; you need to know that this baby tops it. Get your hands on some Soju (ever-present Korean hooch) and prove me right.

My feeling is that what Ulsan lacks in over-the-top nightlife, it more than makes up for in blue collar charm. For example, a student told me today that most of Ulsan will gather in the morning at my local beach to watch the first sunrise of 2009. She told me that she is, and I quote, "Very proud of Ulsan. I very much like that we can see the first sun of 2009 before other cities." I say damn right Ho-Yeon. If you can be proud of Ulsan, so can I. So screw the revellers. Have your night out. You can find me on the beach come sunrise.

Dec 30, 2008

Current sleep album pt. 1


Steve Reich - Music for 18 Musicians. The musical equivalent of having a fan on medium throughout the night. Thanks Jeff.

Ok.

(can someone explain to me why these photos/videos won't stay formatted. This irks the perfectionist in me.)

It was the best show ever... seriously, I'm not lying.


(this is a heady crew at a DMB show. Notice the dude wearing an I heart Nuggets shirt.)
Last weekend I read a great interview with the director of a new Arctic Monkeys concert DVD. Besides giving homage to The Last Waltz, the Citizen Kane of concert docs, he made a great point about a terrible cliche in the genre. Crowd shots always kill the mood. "It's like you need to show proof that it was a good show," he said. I completely agree.

So many times i've been watching a favorite concert doc, the director makes a quick cut to some loser fan, and I totally lose my emotional connection for 10 seconds or so. Most people wouldn't mind, but I suppose most people aren't as critical as me. One of my big issues is that I know how ridiculous I look at shows. I can't dance, and at the same time, I'm totally over-involved in the moment. But the whole idea is to lose yourself. You don't want to worry anyone judging you, let alone somebody filming you for a DVD. I would be pissed.

To this day, I've never seen any crowd shot that I thought was either entertaining or worthwhile. Two of the best concert docs ever, The Last Waltz and Stop Making Sense, have almost no crowd shots. I think that plays a subliminal role in why they're both so revered. After all, you won't buy a "Rent" dvd that has crowd shots. You don't buy a "Les Mis" dvd that has crowd shots. Why should a concert dvd be any different?

No, do bring food in the sack.

Eating is enormously important in Korea. Despite people's frantic work schedules, it seems that when they do sit, no moment nor bite is wasted. I should liken it to the way French or Italians obsess over their meals, but with less wine and carbohydrates.

I learn something new at every Korean meal I sit for. The most interesting stuff I pick up has to do with the relationship of certain foods and the body. For example, there's a whole battery of eats that directly effect one's "stamina." Or, as a Korean once told my friend, "this will help your cock." Erection-facilitating treats include eel, spiced shoots, and dog soup. I've yet to give the eel a go, but credible sources have assured me that it works... perhaps too well.

I'm lucky. I like the food here, and I like it a lot. It would be very difficult to live here and not enjoy what's on your plate. You would have to stick with the western food they serve, which is expensive and fatty (read: western.) That's the thing, despite the massive rice intake, you rarely see an overweight Korean. They are a very health conscious people.

I can never tell because so many of the convos fly over my head, but the little I've seen has shown me that Koreans are very intentional about the things they eat. Everything consumed has a purpose. The same can be said for things left uneaten. For example, last night I had some hard boiled eggs with a Korean man who refused to eat the yolk. He claimed there was too much cholesterol. This guy could not be in better shape, and now I see why he stays that way. But he's nothing out of the ordinary. Just last week I saw my co-teacher eat a green pepper like it was a carrot. When asked how she could handle it, she simply replied that it was very important for her vitamin levels. My sense is that most Koreans would have answered the same way.

I do miss aspects of western dining, for sure. I can't tell you how excited I will be to have an American burrito. That said, I hope I never forget the care and reverence Koreans put into their meals. It's something to behold.

Dec 29, 2008

Though I despise Elf...


...this video hits the spot. "Pearl" is actually his daughter, and yes, she is saying those things. Enjoy.

Dec 28, 2008

The Kennedy Lounge


Though I can speak very little Korean, I can actually read it. That is, I can read the sounds on the walls all around me, though I don't often know what they mean. But that's not really saying a lot. Anyone can put it together with two hours, a korean alphabet, and an english translation. Still, you would be amazed at how many westerners forego this minor challenge. I personally consider that terribly lazy and inexcusable on their part.

The Korean alphabet translates awkwardly to English phonetics. It is a finite number of simple consonant and vowel sounds. But, like Michael Jordan in baseball, there is only so much stylistic crossover. Very few English words work when put through the Korean word grinder, but that doesn't mean Koreans won't still attempt them. For example, they say my name, Brad, as "Bu-daa-duh." Korean is also interesting because there are several english words that, for whatever reason, they never thought to make into authentic Korean words. They kept pizza, but it comes out as "Pee-cha." They kept guitar, but it comes out as "Gee-ta." They kept lap top, but it comes out as "Notuh-boook." I had a marvelous experience with another Konglish word tonight.

I was out walking my friend's dog (that's a whole other post) and I noticed a lively scene in front of a bar. This place had a nearly-life sized statue of Marilyn Monroe in front of its rustic, wooden entrance. She was in that iconic, Some Like it Hot upskirt pose. Needless to say the whole scene caught my attention. I paused for a second and made an attempt to decipher the name of the joint. My thought process went something like this:

Kay-nay-di... louw-shuh...?
Kay-nay-di... it's Marilyn... ok so it's Kennedy...
Kennedy... lowshuh... Kennedy Lounge? Yes, Kennedy Lounge!

I just can't get over what a true testament the whole thing was to American pop culture. I love that, in a totally non-descript part of a totally non-descript Korean city, there is this gaudy tribute to Norma Jean and our nation's most beloved fallen philanderer.

For my DC/NoVa friends... and anyone who loves a laugh.



It's been a bizarre couple of weeks. Christmas away from home was stranger than I thought. Now, as most of friends are out of the country or just hanging out sans work, I must begin a three week shift of half days. It could be a lot worse, and I get that. 3.5 hours of wrangling young Koreans is hardly laying railroad, but there's steam to vent regardless.

So in my beleaguered state, I decided to veg out in front of youtube for an hour or two, just as a nice way to deaden my mind. As it turns out, I'm really happy that I did.

Anyone who grew up in and around Washington DC has got to be familiar with Jim Vance and George Michael, the perennial geezers on NBC local news. Both men have easily been with the local NBC affiliate for the last 20 years. Neither man ever seemed to possess the professionalism of the great TV anchors - Conkrite, Rather, Jennings, etc - which is surely why they never got out of local news purgatory. But, I always enjoyed their boyish charms. DC is a city that does not produce much feel-good news, and these men often made the nightly morbid reviews tolerable.

Michael, clearly a redneck and a drinker, always seems like he is dying to say poop on air. Like he really wants to sneak one in there under his breath, so that he could show it to his buddies. Listen to him completely lose it at the 30 second mark... it's classic George Michael. If Michael is the boyish drinker, then Vance is most definitely the wily stoner. He could be reporting on missing children and there would still be a smirk right underneath that graying visage. They're a perfect duo. Where Michael is an irrepressibly high strung honky, Vance is an unnaturally mellow brother. If you know DC, then you have to know that they are almost a perfect synergy of the men in that city.

So finally, I'm on youtube and I click on some ludicrous link about a newscaster laughing at a clumsy model. Immediately I notice the DC News 4 backdrop. It's the end of the program, so George is on because he just did the sports. What I really love about this clip, is that it has 100% nothing to do with DC news. I mean, the fashion show is in Paris! So basically I'm assuming that the producers let George and Jim show this video because they thought it was funny. That, and they knew these two would get each other going like the cheeky, old codgers they are.

I can't tell you how nice it is to know that, while my life is in such a state of flux, so many things I love are right where they used to be.

Dec 26, 2008

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 4


You loved them. Times were simple. Life was good.

Du Hast


You certainly don't think gay when Rammstein comes up in conversation. And yet, here is the cover of their album Herzeleid. I love the Germans. So free.

Stills from my life


30 minutes ago I decided, while lying in bed, that I should finally reveal to the world what my living quarters are all about. So the following shots are a sequence of what my apt looks like - at least with the blinds drawn in a state hibernatorial (made that word up) bliss. There's also an outside shot of my building just for kicks. Loving it.



Interesting summations pt. 1

2008 was a landmark year no matter how you square it. I assume that many in the media will post editorials about the prevalent themes and defining characteristics of the year that was. Here's the link to a cnn retrospective that I, for one, found worth pondering.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/12/26/yir.entertainment/index.html

There is no spoon?

I should have listened to the critics. There's not one single review that suggests "The Day the Earth Stood Still" is even a mediocre flick. Good. It's not. This is one of these movies that is inherently frustrating only because of what could have been. I, for one, actually consider myself a Keanu fan. Screw it, so he's not Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Who cares? He's a total himbo and he's fucking Neo. That said, not even his vacant gravitas could save this overwhelmingly under-thought clunker. Don't waste your money, because there's not one single redeeming scene in the whole mess. Its best quality is that it keeps to 90 minutes or less. You're better served just renting the Matrix if you want a good Keanu vehicle. Or better yet, if you had any class you'd just check out his criminally underrated turn in "Constantine." Still, no matter how crap the material, the man just can't look bad in a well-cut suit.

Dec 25, 2008

This is how you write an album review.



The sound quality is similar to some of my favorite records, like Guided by Voices' Bee Thousand, where it sounds really low-fi and hi-fi all at once. But it also sounds futuristic, as if it were recorded on some army surveillance mike in the back of a tank on some battlefield in the year 3013. And the bass is huge — it warms my butt. I feel beautiful when I hear this record. It makes me feel like a praying mantis: I want to mate, but I also want to kill my mate when it's over.

- My Morning Jacket's Jim James describing Erykah Badu's "New Amerykah: Part 1 (4th World War)" and why it's his favorite album of 2008.

Sing me to sleep.


What I wouldn't give to receive a lullaby from Nina Simone. Ethereal. Terrifying. Powerful.

Christmas in Korea: holiday as excuse.


Christmas day puts the USA at a standstill. You had better have a full fridge, because there is no chance you're grabbing a pizza on the 25th... anywhere. That is hardly the case in Korea.

In fact, I actually got a pizza from Dominos yesterday. In doing so I noticed a marked difference between the Korean and American executions of this wintry holiday. Life absolutely hustles along here regardless of Santa's presence. Most Koreans will tell you that Christmas is not really an important holiday to them. The country has a large Buddhist population who could give a crap about santa, and the day itself is not a uniquely Korean holiday like, say, Chuseok or the Lunar New year. For those reasons Christmas, in practice, is just an excuse to take a day off work and shop. And shop they did.

I went to grab a football at the local megastore/supermarket for a brisk toss on Ilsan beach. The store [Home Plus] is never empty, but I had never seen it as busy as it was. Families whizzed around with full carts everywhere the eye could see. I broke hard for the sports section and got out of there within 6 minutes. Any longer would have been trying.

In truth, it felt nice that life continued on around us yesterday. For many of the native teachers in Ulsan, it was our first Christmas away from home. So had life shut down, we would all have been confined to our tiny apartments, eating and drinking whatever nourishment we had lying around. It felt great to have some distraction. I can certainly say that it contributed to what was an amazing Christmas day (pictures forthcoming...)

So there you have it. Korean Christmas is, more or less, just one big excuse to hang up your work boots and buy a DVD player.

Daniel the taxi driver.



So there we were. It's 2 am on Christmas eve, and I'm in a cab with my friend Sam receiving sage advice on the bizarre art of romancing Korean women. The driver - he referred to himself as Daniel - had a solid grasp of the English language, but apparently had an even stronger grasp on obtaining the affections of his country-women.

Meeting Korean women is enormously frustrating. It's really a two pronged attack on their part. Not only are they a)often too shy to give their English a whirl, but b) those clever few that can speak my tongue often only engage us yanks in the hopes that we will buff up their English chops. Yes, men of the west, don't believe these misbegotten perceptions that you have of Korean women. You will not be able to saunter into their country, set up at a bar stool, and sweep them off their feet simply because you say "fuck" just like the movies. No no, these women are so much more clever than that.

Daniel engaged Sam and I in conversation, so of course we felt the need to expound upon the issues most relevant to us: most of which had to do with the frustration in our personal lives. Is there anything we could do to engage these fragile and mysterious creatures? While the problem seemed largely complicated to us, Daniel, on the other hand, believed it was really an easy fix.

Daniel's rules to meeting and romancing Korean women:

1. Meet, and show limited interest. Nothing new.
2. Second rendesvous; show more interest and ask them for a private dinner. Aka, a legit western date. Still nothing new.
3. Make an attempt to physically engage your woman. Sam and I are transfixed at this point.
...
and at that point Daniel veered into the sexual proclivities of Korean women. While his speech was interesting, there was little practicality to it. Sam and I walked away from the cab knowing way too much about the cultural relevancy of the missionary position, and way too little about how to actually engage in the process of getting there. That, and Daniel drove the slowest cab in all of Ulsan.

All in all it was an amazing night.

Dec 24, 2008

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 3



This song had a really satisfying 15 minutes. PLUS, the girl in this video was single and cute. Times were simple. Life was good.

Brad and his rice cooker: a tale of lovers.


Like kimchi, rice is standard fare at every meal in Korea. But you're dead wrong if you think Koreans F around with boiling water in a pot. Anyone who consumes as much rice as the average Korean has got to know that is the stone age of rice preparation. Let's compare rice prep to guns, shall we. If rice-in-boiling water-pot is a musket, then the rice cooker is an M16 with a flame thrower attached.

Nobody doesn't like rice. It has to be the most inoffensive food on the planet. Though, I've always found that Asian (Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Indian) restaurant rice always kicked the ass of my mom's rice at dinner. Sorry mom. There was always one reason: stickiness. These joints knew how to bang out the stickiest, most moist servings of rice. After 22 years of restaurant rice, I was convinced that they, and only they, knew how to prepare it with such exquisite texture and taste. That was, until I used my rice cooker.

Everyone home in Korea has one of these darling contraptions. In fact, some homes have more than one. Nobody, NOBODY, cooks rice in a pot of boiling water, and here's why. Boiling the rice just isn't practical if you're going to have at least two servings throughout the course of your day. You know that ish will get cold. Not with the cooker. Throw in your desired cups of rice, fill the insert bowl with to the appropriate level, and click one button. Approx. 20 minutes later your rice is hot, sticky, and ready to be shoveled onto your plate with glee. Though the joy doesn't stop there. That one click of the button tells your machine to keep that rice consistently hot for up to three days. So, whenever you're feeling like a bowl, or just a spoonful, of delicious grains, they're hot and waiting for you.

I am convinced I will need one of these devices for the rest of my life. It matters not how difficult one is to procure in the occident. People ask me whether I live alone, and I tell them I do. But in my heart I know that's a lie. I know that in room 801 of the Jangbo Officetel, it's really Brad and his rice maker.

Dec 23, 2008

Every guy's favorite chick-flick


Men are notoriously resistant to romantic comedies (or rom-coms as I love to call them). However, I've often had this conversation with my dude friends: "I mean, man, I really hate those chick movies, but I'm always pumped to watch "Love, Actually.") This movie should win a Nobel peace prize. There's so much going on, and yet it's not confusing. So as a result, it's able to pack in something for everyone, and still not alienate stupid people who ordinarily couldn't follow a movie with upwards of 4 story lines.

For the women, you have Hugh Grant becoming entranced by a cute subordinate at 10 Downing st. He's the PM and she's "just a girl", and oh isn't it romantic. For the guys, you've got "dorky Brit" who travels to hearty USA and meets Elisha Cuthbert and Denise Richards. What dude wouldn't want to spend a holiday in the... ir good graces? And that's only two of the, what?, 6 stories... seven stories. They all have merit. They all could be movies in and of themselves.

Furthermore, it's a holiday movie. I'm actually glad I don't have access to "Love Actually" on this, most lonely of Christmases. I would have no problem admitting that I had watched it alone. Though, I would have a serious problem admitting that I shed tears during the "God Only Knows" closing montage, which would invariably happen. So guys of America, if you have your ladies (or fellow guys) around this Christmas, I say dust off a copy of "Love, Actually" and enjoy.

Sobriety makes my ears sad.


Rock music is nearly synonymous with drug intake. Drugs are part and parcel, not only to the image of rock and roll, but often to the creation as well. Rock came from blues. The blues came from hard times. Drugs always helped/created/facilitated hard times. Just as Hendrix created his most inspired work under the influence, so too have more modern pillars of the genre. Wilco and Ryan Adams are arguably two of the most important musical forces of the last 15 years. Both acts are distillations of a classic, American sound, who have made fans from nobodys and legends alike, and who have carved out a distinct niche for themselves in the cavernous, modern, musical zeitgeist. Also, both made their best material high.

Adams' "Heartbreaker" is to 21st century singer-songwriters what "After the Gold Rush" was exactly 30 years earlier. It is a towering musical achievement. If we're making Neil Young comparisons, I think it's fair to say that Adams followed up "Heartbreaker" with "Gold", his own version of Young's "Harvest." Both albums defined a genre, and Adams freely admits his narco-life was firing on all cylinders during their conception.

Wilco started out as an above-average country-rock act. Then they made "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot." Critics and listeners immediately annointed it today's "Pet Sounds", and Wilco suddenly joined Radiohead as an "important" band. They made another sublime noise-rock album, "A Ghost is Born," and then their leader, Jeff Tweedy, abruptly went to rehab. He had been riding the script, as they say, during his rise to international acclaim.

So what happened? Adams produced a bunch more albums under the influence (only one of which was great) and then got sober. Tweedy came out of rehab a clean, family man. Both men eventually put out albums finally off "the stuff." While both works (Wilco's "Sky Blue Sky" and Adams' "Easy Tiger") are absolutely pleasant affairs, they are also nothing more than that. You listen to "Sky Blue" and "Tiger" and literally hear these men sanding down their edges. It's hard to listen and not think, "oh, how the mighty have fallen."

But there in lay the real quesions. How can you say that when it seems that they finally got their personal lives in order? As fans, shouldn't we be happy that our favorite musicians, they are people after all, are setting a course to have longer careers as healthier folks? Yes, we should be happy, and we will be... that is, until we find the next drug-addled bright light. As to the first question, the mighty have fallen because they lost their creative flame. Or perhaps sobriety simply doesn't allow it to burn as hot.

These are terrible things to admit. I don't wish despair on anyone, especially not when they unknowingly provided me with some of the most treasured music in my collection. But we fans are inherently greedy for more. We are also observant. In being so, I can't help but ask one last question about the nature of creativity and personal health. Is it better to burn out or fade away?

Dec 22, 2008

Oscar's Predicament


I don't know about Seoul or Busan, but Ulsan has a crippling shortage of public trash cans. Westerners seriously take take these receptacles for granted. Countless times I've been walking with an apple core, because apples are unbelievably amazing here, and there's nary a basket in sight. This frustrates me to no end, mostly because I'm one of those daft people who believe that littering is bad karma. I figure my luck is shitty enough. I don't need mother nature's malice on my conscience.

So here's what I propose. I think that my time in Burlington, Vermont and Washington, DC - both places well versed in recycling and public sanitation - qualifies me to be Ulsan's trash czar. This will be my escape from the crumbling economic stature of the modern world. People need someone to pick up their trash. I will be the man who trains and designates those someones. If Ulsan was the Detroit of Korea before the Miller-era, it will be the Vancouver of Korea by the time I'm done with it. Do you think Ulsan's trash czar needs to know Korean?

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 2


Collective Soul still had potent market potential. Times were simple. Life was good.

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 1


He was a huge deal. Times were simple. Life was good.

Dec 21, 2008

To all my gear head, outdoorsy friends...

Hiking is enormous in Korea. Granted, it's a little more tame than what we consider hiking. While a typical Korean hiking trail is little more than a fire road, you can be sure that fire road is filled with gung ho, deadly serious hikers, covered in class A gear. It's bitching gear too.

3 weeks ago I was in the southern city of Busan, and somebody pilfered my favorite jacket: a luxurious, puke orange Mountain Hardwear soft shell. I was beside myself. This was a marvelous jacket, and you gear head people, you know what it's like to finally find a jacket that you love. Losing this article was a crushing blow. But, it meant that I could justify buying some bizarre Korean gear.

Luckily, I overheard some people talking about rock climbing at dinner the following night. I butted into their convo to tell them I knew a lot of climbers, and asked them if they did any hiking in the area. These people were hardcore and they definitely knew their shit. I asked them what they thought of all this Korean gear. The dude, who seemed to be the leader, said most of it was pretty bland, but there were a few companies that were actually superior to anything he'd ever seen. I knew that one of these brands, Black Yak, had several stores in Ulsan. Yes!

The next night I dragged myself out to Black Yak in search of a new soft shell. Surely enough, Black Yak was bad ass. I ended up dropping roughly $180 on a soft shell that, I'm proud to say, is far superior to my old Mountain Hardwear. Who knew? I mean, Black Yak doesn't even have a website. So I've decided that I'm going to be the unofficial rep for this brand when I arrive back in the states. That way I can legitimize wasting more money on their gear, which, let's be honest, I'm going to do regardless. So if you really want to sound like a bad ass around the OC house, tell a bunch of people that you have the inside scoop on this "nasty Korean gear..." Get ready Arcteryxx, I'm coming for you!

Socks as statement.



Like most eastern countries, Korea is a place where you must be shoeless indoors. Even at school, we are expected to keep a pair of "indoor" slip ons in a cubby to protect the floor from the crud we might drag in. Most Korean restaurants also keep cubbies at the door to ensure a shoeless patronage.

Koreans are actually a very stylish people. So it was no surprise to me when I noticed, this weekend, that many of the Korean men around me had really flashy socks on. It makes perfect sense. Westerners tend to not care about our socks because our feet are not really exposed that often. It's the complete opposite here, and I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier. There are little snazzy-sock vendors lining many streets, that at first seemed inoquous, but now it's all coming together.

The real irony is that I always got a schmaltzy pair of socks in my stocking on Christmas morning. They inevitably found a comfy place in the back of my drawer, and then, sorry mom, usually jumped right into the Salvation Army bag several months down the road. Now, when I actually want these eyesores, unfortunately I must contend with Santa skipping my chimney. That's the downside. The upside? I now get to actively sock shop, a first for me in 23 years. Hey Dave Smoler, any advice for a guy on what to look for in a good sock?

Delicious Pah Jeon



I will discuss many wondrous Korean foods on this blog, but I must begin by discussing my favorite: pah jeon.

Now, like any great food, it would be impossible for me to convey its full majesty with the written word. Though since many of you will never get to try pah jeon, I will do my best with the medium that I have.

Pah jeon is essentially a Korean latke. Though, like most Korean foods, it is much healthier than its western counterpart. The common pah jeon has bits of squid, grass-like shoots, onions, and a myriad of other lesser components, all held together by flour and egg.

The average pah jeon is quite thin. But of course you can find different takes at every restaurant. I was in Seoul not long ago and a friend took me to an unassuming restaurant in search of cheap eats. At first it seemed as if our food would hardly be out of the ordinary. That was until our waitress served the biggest heap of pah jeon I had ever seen. It had to have been 1 inch thick. I wanted to cry tears of joy. This was the only time that I couldn't actually finish my serving. It truly was a momentous occasion, and one that I won't soon forget.

That experience is significant not only because of the gastronomic orgasm I achieved, but because it's indicative of restaurant hunting in Korea. There are more non descript restaurants here than any small army could ever visit in 12 months. You want to tell yourself that they're all the same. They're not. In fact, some of them - like the aforementioned Seoul joint - actually have extraordinary food, but you would never know unless go in blind.

I've never been to a Korean restaurant in the states, so I have no idea what foods they do and don't have. But I'm not risking a life in the USA without pah jeon. Believe me, anyone in my proximity next year will be eating this dish until they can take it no more. In fact, I hope to be among the foremost purveyors of pah jeon on the east coast.

Man love.

Korea is a nation that fosters a serious sense of man love. There is none of this arch-agro, anti affection sentiment in the male population, like, for example, that which defines most American male relationships. Nope, it seems to me that men here love the fact that they're men, and have strong desires to congratulate each on the fact.

Men here have a very touch-centered nature. They seem to constantly grasp/graze/clasp each others shoulders, faces, upper legs, and of course, hands. Hugs are also a much more ornate practice in Korea. I've found that one thing separates a Western hug and a Korean hug: head placement. In the good old US of A, we guys usually give a stiff hug with lots of arm/chest action, with heads fully erect, staring over each other's shoulder. Korean men burrow their heads into the neck, which really emphasizes the emotional connection they share as gender compatriots. You must understand that American manhugs are not meant to be an emotional affair. After all, that would be decidedly wimpy.

Physical closeness is a trend that clearly begins at an early age with Korean men. Hand holding, hugging, and walking with arms-around-shoulders is a common sight with all my boy students. My favorite boy-love (that feels terrible to type) display goes like this. Two boy students will sit one in front of the other in a row, with the front boy sitting at an angle, and gently placing his hand on the desk and in the hand of the boy in back. It's important to also emphasize that these boys will be engaged in class, eyes on the board, but still in the throws of a casual hand hold.

Korean men often vocally embrace each other as well. Up front comments on another man's attractiveness are totally common here. I can't even begin to quantify the number of times small boys and grown men alike have openly called me "handsome." Now, I mention this not out of vanity, but because it is an experience that almost all my male friends share. American guys; just imagine meeting another dude on neutral terms, and him making casual observations about your physical appearance. You would be taken aback right? Well, it's all part of a general sense of frankness which is totally the norm.

It's invaluable to mention that, despite their physical openness, Korean men are absolutely macho, and homophobic more often than not. Though Korea is a generally modern nation, it is still socially conservative. I'm pretty sure you could count Korea's gay bars on one hand, and I doubt you could find any outside of Seoul. Furthermore, women here hardly get a fair shake.

Don't get me wrong, women work, they have agency in the dating world, and they have many of the same legal protections that western women do. But, for example, you would never see a woman principle. There is an enormous discrepancy in pay scale between the sexes that goes unchecked. It is improper for women to smoke cigarettes in public (they do it in bathrooms). It is improper for women to drink alcohol in the company of men outside of bars/clubs. It is almost unheard of for a woman to hold a prestigious leadership position in business or politics. This antiquated cultural sexism only facilitates rampant man love. It's like Korean men all believe they are part of some elite club, and must congratulate each other on their achievement.

I think there's nothing wrong with a little man love. Friendships are perhaps the most important relationships anyone can have, so why not feed them with a little TLC? I think that the American man's reticence to physically emote is born out of some misplaced sense of insecurity. As if there's any logical connection between wanting to hug a friend and fuck him? Come on, we're a little more advanced than that. Am I wrong my yankee brethren?

Dec 19, 2008

Six otherworldly musical passages captured in 60 seconds.

My Morning Jacket - Okonokos "I Will Sing you Songs" 5:55 to 6:55

(section in question begins at :57 in video.)

Benevento/Russo Duo - Best Reasons to Buy the Sun "9x9" 3:40 to 4:40

(section in question begins at 4:57 in video.)

Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie... "Tonight Tonight" 3:12 to 4:12

(section in question begins at 3:12 in video)

The Slip - Angels Come on Time... "Sometimes True to Nothing" 4:45 to 5:45

(sorry, no video for this one.)

Stevie Wonder - Innervisions... "He's Misstra Know it all" 3:47 to 4:47

(section in question begins at 2:36 in video)

Phish - Rochester, NY 12/11/97... "Waste" 4:00 to 5:00

(section in question begins at 2:55 in video)

*note - the track times next to the song titles are in reference to the studio tracks, except of course for the Phish track which is in reference to a live show. They are not meant to correspond with the videos.)

It's all in the family


(... ho old me closa tiny dansuh!)
There's a shitty bar in Ulsan called Benchwarmers, but its the defacto haunt for most of us native teachers. The real jewels of Benchwarmers are the brave Koreans who imbibe freely and try their hand at drunken, English conversations. These people purposely remove themselves from the majority to join our seedy underbelly, and for that I give them my sincerest admiration.

Hazel and Ryan own "Bench," as we like to call it. She's a Brit, who I just discovered has a wonderful butt, and he's a Korean, who probably has a nice butt too. They're both more or less local celebrities with the Ulsan bar crowd. They're both young, attractive, charming, and ambitious enough to warrant some serious suitors. Anyway, my mention of them at this point is only necessary in framing the following events.

One month I ago I played an open mic at bench, and received some wonderful dancing accompaniment from the gent pictured above. He ripped the floor apart continuously for the last two songs of my set, and then pretty much shimmied his way out the door. Fast forward to last night. I walk into the bar and there he is at the exact same perch, completely drunk once again. We share a warm embrace, he kisses my cheek, and we exchange salutations that neither of us understand. About one hour later he drags the microphone out of the corner and tinkers with the PA in a failed attempt to address the masses. Ryan comes over I guess to gently put the man back in his seat and restore peace. But being this man's friend, and a bit drunk, I intercede. I tell Ryan that this man is my friend, and that we will sing a song together, if that's ok of course. Ryan laughs hard and says this...

"(laughing) no it's ok. This man is my father. He is very drunk and needs to go home now."

Here's what I want to know; what needs to happen in order for my son to open a bar where I can go get safely trashed on the weekends?

Mickey Rourke


Mickey Rourke has done some real shit in his career, but it seems to me that he's kept his natural magnetism throughout. Anyone who saw Sin City will tell you that his Marv was absolutely the star of the movie. "City" forced me to travel back and watch some his older work. In doing so, I discovered just why some critics call him one of the great unsung stars of our generation. "Diner", "Rumble Fish", and especially "Pope of Greenwich Village" are superb films that explode only because of Rourke's natural gifts in front of the camera.

"The Wrestler" is widely hailed as Rourke's big return to glory. This preview certainly seems to confirm that assertion. I'm already batshit upset that I'll have to miss its run in theaters, so please, for me, go see this movie and tell me about it! I would love to know if it's actually as completely awesome as it looks.

My Phish dilemma.


There was never time in which I didn't like Phish. But, you know, I guess I just didn't "get it." I thought they were cool, but they weren't ever special enough for me to see them as the holier-than-thou institution that my friends did. All that changed three weeks ago.

Something happened to me. It's like some distant recess of my brain suddenly activated and I finally have the patience to let all...that...music finally seep in. Ironically, this is perhaps the most consistently sober I've been in the past 4.5 years. Ha, maybe that's the trick.

Anyway, so I always felt somewhat insecure about the fact that I couldn't relate to all these Phish fans whose musical tastes I generally admired. In looking back, I know that insecurity manifested itself in the form of mockery. My mother always used to tell me as a boy that people who did mean things did them because they actually felt sad themselves. While it would be an exaggeration to say I was "sad" that I didn't get Phish, I think there was some relevance in that statement to my situation. All the time, "Trey sucks at singing! He always messes up! He's such a junke! He's such a failed pop-star!"

Now that I see the error in my ways, I can't help but look back and wonder what these people thought when I said those things. They must have thought I was a total rube. They must have just wished that I would either get it or shut up. The truth is that I wish I had as well, and I was generally uncomfortable in that, as a huge rock and roll fan, I couldn't make the connection that all these people so readily could.

Let me say this to all of you I hassled: I feel like a total idiot. Trust me, I stand here feeling like the last kid in the grade who learned how to ride a bike. Can you forgive and forget?

Dec 18, 2008

Hi, I think your Uggs are really fucking stupid.


If I don't miss college everyday, then it's fair to say that I miss it most days. However, there is one thing that I do not, nor will I ever miss about my collegiate experience: stop-and-chats. To me, stop-and-chats are amongst the most loathsome social niceties anyone could ever resign themselves to. They're like the social equivalent of placing your utensils on correct sides of the plate. Point is, who cares where your knife is in relation to your fucking burger? And who cares whether or not I want to know if your fucking week will be a "tough one" or not? Still, while I lament their practice I must admit that I took part in them. In fact, I took part often.

There's few things I regret more about my UVM career than my proclivity for engaging in stop-and-chats. Christ, I feel like Garfunkel writing a letter to Simon outlining how much he despised "Bridge Over Troubled Water." Everyone knows it takes two to play. Spiteful rhetoric aside, listen, I caved to the social expectation I "believed" were a part of the whole UVM "deal." Who knows, maybe my life here in Korea insulates me from those scenarios in which mindless gab is commonplace? Maybe that's what happens when you live in a place where you're surrounded by an alien language 4.5 days out of the week? If so, great. That means I have 9 more months of utilizing conversation as a valid form of intra-personal inquiry every time I choose to employ it. But that's a totally unreasonable situation if you consider the long term.

I'm sure the reality is that stop-and-chats will persist throughout the better part of my next several decades. Thus, I think I had better find a place where I can safely engage in "s.a.c.'s" and not feel feel as I've compromised my sense of social agency. There's nothing wrong with casually asking someone if their week is going well. It's a polite thing to do, and sometimes there's even information you can gain which comes to your advantage. Ok, so I hereby admit that I might ask you in passing how your week is. I won't love what I'm doing, though I surely won't hate it either. But here's the compromise: if you ask me, "what's up?" in April while wearing Uggs and looking generally offensive, my response will most likely be, "Oh hi, I think your Uggs are really fucking stupid."

Nobody gives interviews like this anymore.



There is no barrier between what Frank Zappa thinks and what he makes available to the general public. Where has that kind of honesty gone? Christ, he even remembered the name [Gene Fioca] of one of the "dancing cops" from the Palladium show. If there's one thing you can be sure of about Frank Zappa, it's that he was no "sissy boy."

The Kimchi


Kimchi is more Korean than apple pie could ever be American. Kimchi is to Korea what an apple pie would be to America if it was wrapped in an American flag, fried in hot dog grease, and washed down with coca cola poured by Bruce Springsteen. I haven't yet read a translated version of the South Korean national anthem, but there's surely a passage about the importance of Kimchi to the Korean national character.

There's no doubt that kimchi is an acquired taste... for everyone who's not Korean. I'm lucky, I actually love kimchi. But here's why, in my opinion, most westerners have a chilly disposition towards this most Korean dish. My feeling is that westerners can do spicy, and we can do cold, but doing them together presents some problems. For example, chilli is spicy, but it's hot. Curry is spicy, but it's hot. kimchi isn't just lukewarm ala green pepper, it's actually refrigerated and served quite cold. Beyond that, and it's somewhat sloppy appearance, I can't really pinpoint what is so divisive about something which is, essentially, spicy cabbage.

So how important is kimchi to average Koreans? These are two conversations I had over the last week with some teachers at my school.

Dialogue 1:
Brad - So you and your family are going to Australia?
Jae Jeon - Yes, we will go [for] 10 days.
B - Will you eat the Australian food?
JJ - Yes, but we bring kimchi.
B - Why?
JJ - My family need kimchi.
B - How many days have you had with no kimchi? (now this was hard to explain so picture lots of exaggerated body language on my part)
JJ - Oh I see... 10.
B - 10 days? When was that?
JJ - When I was young (he's 43) and in military. They kept us in woods for 10 days.

Dialogue 2:
Brad - Did you like French food when you went to Paris?
Sun Jung - Yes, but very oily.
B - Did you miss Korean food?
SJ - Yes, very much.
B - Did you eat Korean food in Paris?
SJ - Yes, I had the kimchi in Paris.
B - How many days in a row did you have no kimchi?
SJ - 3.
B - Is that the most days in a row you had no kimchi?
SJ - (looks at me like I asked a ridiculous question) Of course!

I say this with in total honesty, most Koreans eat kimchi with every single meal they sit for. Can you imagine eating one thing with every meal? Just think, what if Americans ate spinach at EVERY MEAL?! That concept of one food at every meal is completely fascinating to me.

Death, magic, and Christmas.


Christmas is everywhere, and with it, news of friends making the annual trek back to the homestead. For obvious reasons, I will not be among the masses sipping coffee with ma and pa on Christmas morning. I knew this would be the case back in August, but nevertheless, I'm painfully aware that my absence on the 25th for the first of its kind. Now I'm sure that my absence doesn't effect me nearly as much as it does my mother, but I'm certainly not above admitting that there's a touch of melancholy there for me. I can't really explain it, but something happened this morning that completely put me at ease with the whole issue.


So I'm in stride with my head down and I notice a dead mouse in the middle of the road. It wasn't disheveled or beat to hell. In fact, it almost looked as if it had been stuffed and prepped for mounting. I dare say it was the healthiest looking dead mouse I've ever seen. As I said, I can't explain it, but that dead mouse completely revamped my whole take on Christmas 2008. So to that mouse, wherever it be, I want to extend a humble thanks.

Later on, in a totally unrelated event, some 5th graders slayed me with some bad ass amateur magic. Between teaching kids here and teaching archery at a summer camp, 2008 has seen me around little children more than usual. One thing I've learned is that young boys love rocking the card tricks. I find this heartening for two reasons. One, I was nowhere near clever enough to learn these tricks at their age, and two, because it's great to see them get so excited about a skill they worked hard to acquire. That said, I've seen some bumbling 5th grade card tricks, and these were not them. Koreans don't do anything half assed, and I now know that extends to cheap magic. So a word to the wise, if a Korean asks you to check out their magic, fucking do it.

3 Reasons the Pacific Northwest was a musical goldmine in 2008


Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
So right, everyone loves Seattle's Fleet Foxes. Fucking good! I defy any rock and roll fan to listen to any three tracks off their newest album and not feel as if they've made a momentous discovery. No album made a greater leap in stature with me this whole year.

Horse Feathers - House with no Name
Say what you will about its economics, but this album would not be in my library without the itunes music store. I loved Bon Iver's album, I looked at itunes' similar artists, Horse Feathers was there, and I couldn't be happier. "House with no Name" is, in my opinion, in league with any of the landmark acoustic albums of the last 5 years. Is it me, or does Portland, OR quietly have one of the best music scenes in the country?

Moondoggies - Don't be a Stranger
Ah the Moondoggies. What an unfortunate name for such a good band. I have to credit Rolling Stone with their discovery. RS staff writer Austin Scaggs went up to Seattle for an exposee on Fleet Foxes, only to get turned on to this sublime quartet. It only takes one listen to understand any comparisons with "The Band", and while Danko and co. were 10x better musicians, the Moondoggies' sense of melody, groove, and warmth are right on target. I'm beyond intrigued to see where they go from here.

Sometimes I forget.



I unfortunately set up this blog post election, and as an American blog, I think it's important to officially scream from the hilltops just how fucking elated I am that we elected this man.

Koreans work harder than you pt. 1

Koreans work harder than you: intro

One of the first things I learned about Korea is that Koreans work their asses off. I mean really work until it's funny. Have you ever brushed your teeth next to a Korean? I thought it was supposed to be one of those things where you feel good for doing it at all. Well I still felt lazy.

As a matter of fact, most of my students usually go right from school to piano or taekwondo lessons. Then they follow that up with a few hours at a private academy learning math, science, english, etc... That's right, these are elementary school students who usually don't get home until 10pm, and they still haven't even done their homework. But it's no big deal to them. Why? Because everyone does it.

So this is the first post in a series of exposees displaying that, in fact, Koreans work harder than you.

Operating Heavy Machinery... totally hung over.


(a good HHI employee: grey, anonymous, and scooter-riding.)

HHI employs 48,000 hard working Koreans at it's Ulsan shipyard, all of them wearing the exact same color jump suits. Because HHI is no different than everything else in Korea, the yard tries to be economical with space. The result? No HHI employees are allowed to drive cars to work. Everybody must ride through the gates on a two-wheeled vehicle, most of those being zippy little scooters.

Now like any good company, HHI does not let its workers zoom on into work whenever they please. They report to work at 6 am on the dot, and roll out at 6:30 every evening Monday through Friday. It's all very efficient. That is, until you gorge the streets of Dong gu with upwards of 30,000 scooters at one time. Observing the mayhem that occurs every weekday at 6:30pm has been one of the great joys of my time here, not to mention of my life.

Furthermore, like most good blue collar workers, HHI men love getting blacked out asap after work. I'm proud to say at this point I can no longer count on two hands the number of times I've witnessed these dudes vomit on the sidewalk. To some that's repulsive, but not to me. No, if there was any justice in this world I would be man enough to work hung over, and thus would be vomiting right next to them.

(many of these men are on their way to get dangerously, dangerously drunk.)

Dec 17, 2008

HHI and me.


(a view of one section of the HHI shipyard from my roof. The gigantic orange Hyundai "lifts" are part of HHI's three freighter dry docks; the largest in the world.)

Like any great city, Ulsan has several distinct regions, or boroughs for you westerners familiar with New York's sectional breakdown. In Ulsan, each borough is a different "gu". There is Ulju gu, Buk gu, Nam gu, Jung gu, and Dong gu. The first four gu's are in land and have much of Ulsan proper, but screw them. Dong gu is Ulsan's hidden gem. But of course I'm biased because, big surprise, that's where I lay my head.

I love Dong gu because we have the ocean, and life is generally a little more peaceful here. But, like most good deals in life, there's a give and a take. Being the industrial capitol of Korea, if there's a maritime hamlet in Ulsan, it's sure to be dominated by a maritime industry. Let me be specific. Dong gu IS Hyundai Heavy Industries (HHI). HHI has the largest shipyard on earth, and takes up 4km of Dong gu's 6km waterfront. It is a veritable industrial monster.

I know this sounds odd, but I've grown to harbor a strange pride in HHI. You can't live in this area and not have daily contact with the workers and their families. In fact, I would wager that a large proportion of my students are HHI children. I think my pride in HHI is inextricably linked with the joy I have in meeting all these people. Thus far, and this is no exaggeration, I've yet to meet anyone affiliated with this company who I didn't enjoy.

So take it from me, the next time you want to buy a propeller for your oil freighter, buy HHI.

(HHI shot from across Ulsan harbor. Again notice the majestic orange lifts.)

The Driving Spirit


Today I did something that most native teachers (the given name of english-speaking teachers in Korea) will do at some point in their stay: attempted a day of Jeopardy. I mean why not? It's competitive, It's a perfect vehicle for covering a whole semester of class, and it's mellow enough that it doesn't seem like average classroom drudgery. Was it a good idea? I say yes. Did it follow through? Not really.

I started the game with teams picked at random (count off! 1-2-1-2... we've all been there). That quickly fizzled because the two geniuses on either team basically went head to head, while everyone else tore out the pages of their text books to throw at each other. My co-teacher had the seemingly brilliant idea of splitting the teams up by gender. I liked it. Perhaps a little gender solidarity might make more cohesive teams, I thought. Wrong.

All that solidarity did was put more pressure on the shoulders of either boy/girl genius. What happened? Tears happened. I had created an atmosphere where any wrong answer was seemed to be not only a let down to the team, but a letdown to the gender. By the end of the day we saw four cases of legitimate head-in-hands crying because one person or the other misspelled "climb." I felt like an asshole.

A word to the wise: don't ever underestimate the pride of 11-year old Koreans.

Dec 16, 2008

The First Notch


I made it three months in this marvelous country, answered countless questions about my experience (happily of course), and now the time has come.  Behold, ladies and gentlemen, my obligatory "life abroad" blog.  

I'm sure many exist.  In fact, I'm sure many are more scholarly and penetrating than this. However, none can offer what Hyundai Propaganda can: unfiltered access to the observations, ruminations, and pontifications of one Bradford B. Miller.  If you're into that kind of thing, then consider yourself at ground zero.  If you're not, then you should check out melaniegriffith.com to see a more professional layout of my past achievements.  

So here's my deal in brief:

I graduated from the University of Vermont in May of 2008 with a bachelors in History.  Nothing really led me to believe that I would get offers for a board spot at Berkshire Hathaway, so I did what any other reasonable guy my age would do... I split the country.  I followed the example of a friend/former UVM grad and took a job teaching elementary school English in South Korea.  My flight landed August 21, and I can safely say that it's been a very pleasant and engaging experience since.  

No, I'm not in Seoul.  Nor did I ever want to be as a matter of fact.  Seoul is an absolutely phenomenal place (I've now visited twice), but I had designs on locales with more manageable numbers and more accessible communities.  Busan is where I wanted to be.  Fate, or my employer, thought otherwise.  

So I ended up in Ulsan, and despite what it looks like on paper, this is a great city (It is the city on the southeast coast between Pusan and Pohang on the map above - feel free to click that sucker for a better view).  Ulsan's claim to fame is that it houses the headquarters of Hyundai Motors and Hyundai Heavy Industry (think freighters, ship engines, construction vehicles, and most other things that are enormous and industrial).  It's a blue collar city.  But with it comes this blue collar mentality that has made its people at once mild mannered and accessible.  You certainly won't find any of the ego or aloofness that you might find in a bigger city.  Call me an apologist if you want, but I'm genuinely enamored with my little hamlet of 1 million Ulsan-ers.

Mipo Elementary school is my touchstone in the Ulsan scene.  It's a small public school of about 500 children, grades 1 to 6.  I teach all the english classes in grades 3 to 6 between Monday and Friday.  The kids like me, I like them, and there's nary a day that I don't arrive home feeling good.  Ah yes, I co-teach with a marvelous marvelous woman named Lee Sun-Jung (or Sun-Jung Lee to the uninitiated Westerner).  She has been my rock for the last three months and I can't even imagine the dire straits I would be in without her calm, guiding presence in my life.

That's the gist.  That's the bare bones intro to what is going on with me so far.  But here's a promise: NO POST WILL EVER BE AS BORING AS THIS ONE.  I promise from here on out to inundate this blog with lurid rants and raves that will keep my readers (read: my mother) entertained.  Cheers.

Always,
Bradford