The bees!

Huh?

Dave Carnie, a true American.

Owl Moon

Being constantly surrounded by elementary-age kids has got me reminiscing about my own youth. In doing so, I've realized that I miss the hell out of this book.

Jonsi and Alex - Riceboy Sleeps

So lately I can't stop listening to music that sounds the way a beautiful dream feels. Naturally, one would assume I would drift towards Sigur Ros. But, I feel as if I've been there, and it's important to me that I find out if anyone can do it better. While I have made some valuable discoveries in this field (most notably Grouper) my new favorite dream-pop disc still falls within the Sigur Ros stable.

Riceboy Sleeps is the product of Sigur Ros frontman Jonsi Birgisson and his artistic/romantic collaborator Alex Somers. The Ros-ian vibe is almost immediately apparent, and while many will say this is nothing more than a watered-down b-sides cut, I would have to disagree. To me, Riceboy feels like most other breakaway solo works by popular frontmen: somewhat derivative of the original, but not in a way that detracts from the accomplishment at hand (see: A Perfect Circle, David Byrne, Trey Anastasio, Dave Matthews).

This album would be nature's soundtrack during the hatching of a butterfly, if such a soundtrack existed.

Somehow, no matter how loud you play it, Jonsi and Alex's music never impedes the processes of thought or introspection. On the contrary, I would argue it enhances both.

Do yourself a favor; get this album, get some good headphones, and find some time and space to employ one through the other.

Jonsi and Alex - keeping this blog introspective and socially relevant... (God, I love sweaters.)

Those final agonizing breaths...

The end is nigh! I've been saying it for months, but now reality supports the statement. I just finished my first day of summer camp - the only thing that stands between me and 5 weeks of unbridled freedom (Vietnam > Jeju Island > Ulsan finale > Incheon > Washington DC > Woodstock, NY > Boston > VT!!!!! > Mass [Boston? Cape Cod?] > Washington DC). Oh to be young, responsibility-free, and able to pseudo-support yourself!

Knowing that such things lay ahead, in the NEAR future, is truly a heady feeling (Webster's version). That said, completing this gig will not be easy by any stretch of the word. For the next 14 days I will teach approximately 10 classes/day between the hours of 9am and 8:20pm. Moreover, this is not a situation from which I can return home at the end of the day. This camp has sequestered all 30-or-so of us out in Youngsan, Korea - exactly 30 minutes from the nearest anything. And while I'm humbled by saying this, thank god we at least have Internet in our dorm rooms. The inability to mindlessly absorb obscure nothings for a few hours each night might have seriously affected me (though maybe for the better).

Last night was rough. I cowered in my bed just dreading the fact that falling asleep meant waking to the reality of this camp experience. As always, that was a totally irrational reaction. The camp is not so bad. In fact, by a stroke of sheer luck I somehow stumbled into having my own room. I can't tell you how pumped I am about that. I need my space, and the more of it I can have the better.

That luck worked in my favor is both beautiful and completely unusual. Past experiences normally have me getting laughed at for my god awful bad luck. And just so you know, had I not pulled off a little side-dealing, I would have been stuck in a room with a socially awkward, middle-aged, deeply religious, and irrepressibly irritating dude named Joe. All I wanted was to not be HIS roommate, and I ended up somehow being my own.
Though as my father said, I should probably get prepared for some sort of late-arrival to rain on my parade. And if that does go down, you can rest assured that he will have either a) a flatulence issue b) a masturbation issue c) a snoring issue or d) all of the above. If my history is any indication, I best begin preparing his bedding now...

Metallica - Death Magnetic

After a few solid weeks of straight Phish and dense indie rock I needed something... a wild card. I had let several months of cyber dust gather on Metallica's latest, so it seemed right to let it be the album to jerk me from noodly hipsterville. Great call. Death Magnetic is nearly perfect. Give this album a spin if you ever feel the inclination. My bet is that you find it worthwhile.

Key track: All Nightmare Long

Yes, I just whole heartedly repped a Metallica album. So what?

Naked City - Speedfreaks

Equal parts pure hipster, ruthlessly inaccessible, and hardcore genius.

Can You Feel It?

The hot, sultry days of summer have most certainly reached Ulsan, South Korea. Summer brings about many things - pummeling rainstorms, longer days, melting ice cream - but none less innocent than the wandering eyes it provokes. Everyone is looking to score. Let's face it: everyone's been prepping their bodies, everyone's used the winter as a prep/rest up period, and summer means game time. This is true for people in most places, but doesn't seem to be the case in Ulsan, at least not as I've seen with many of the Koreans out and about. However, if summer has done anything to this little industrial hamlet, it has unquestionably stirred up the loins of Ulsan's resident Dragonflies.

I'm not kidding when I say that the skies are filled with the horniest dragon flies I've ever seen. They're everywhere, and they're doing everything and anything to make it happen. I've never seen so many of these things in my life, and while at first I was alarmed by their presence, I'm now kind of pumped to have them around. After all, their intentions are probably not that different than mine or some of my more libidinous friends... well, except we're not trying to procreate, so to say.

To give you an idea of their scene, I ran by an ordinary tree today, and I'm dead serious when I say the whole thing was abuzz with the sound of dragonfly love. If you magically transformed that tree into a trailer filled with humans doing what those flys were doing... whoa! It would have been Calligula-esque. I was so taken aback by the sound of their love making chirps, that I literally said out loud, "Oh man! That's so intense!" I kid you not (and I think I got stares as a result). Listen, I'm not an idiot. Clearly, like secadas and other insects, this is the traditional mating season for Korean Dragon Flys. I just can't help but see the parallels between their aims and those of so many of my friends. None of us are as aggressive as these winged studs, but I think there's a shared value... whether they know it or not.

Bibimbap and me.

As far as I'm concerned, there are few lunch options more perfect than bibimbap. It is a dead-on example of why I'm going to miss Korean food so much: it's healthy, but not aggressively so. There's literally nothing unhealthy in a bowl of bibimbap, but you wouldn't know that from the taste. So often I meet people who feel that they must forego flavor to put good things in their body. Perhaps that's America's problem, because Koreans have a litany of healthy foods at their disposal, and almost all of it f***ing rocks! And this coming from the guy who existed on a diet of pizza, sandwiches, and cereal for the better part of his life. I mean, how cool is it that I'm totally full and satisfied from a serving of rice, veggies, and a fried egg (the least healthy guy at the party)?! The simple beauty of this dish is unassailable. I'll never knock a blt, but come on...

Oh yea, the cost of this delicacy? Somewhere in the ballpark of $2.

Grouper - Dragging a Dead Deer Up a Hill

I just spent the last 45 minutes listening to this album, and it was perfect. I'm not saying the album itself was perfect - in actuality it's no better or worse than any of the other airy, blissed-out, dreamscape pop I've heard - but it's role in that 45 minutes was, in fact, perfect. It didn't ask too much of me. It required nothing beyond a mellow disposition, low lighting, a content stomach, and magnificent headphones. Simply put, I'm overjoyed that Grouper and I could meet at that junction in time. I believe it was mutually beneficial.

...


- Though in reality a Grouper has nothing to do with the artist I discuss above, I want to let it be known that I'm pretty pumped about the fish as well. RIP. (How much fun is this guy having?!)

Blissful Repetition

I've now listened to this song 10+ times in a row.
Ryan Adams - Oh my god whatever, etc.

A Great Baseball Tune

The water's wide
It's deep and wide
It's down a long and windy road
And everyone knows that a boy can't swim it

In Narrow's Church
The white walled church
They're singing that gospel song
"Bye and Bye, I will see my King"
The clouds will break
And the pews shake
And the choir softly cries
And it's Georgia in the spring of 1905

Ty Cobb
You're dead and gone
You had a game like a war machine
And through the great
Hall of Fame you wander
In Tigers Field
A girl in heels

She had a face like a magazine
And through the long metal stands she wandered

The ball soared
The crowd roared
The scoreboard sweetly hummed
And tomorrow you'll surely know whose won

I'm on First
And you're on Third
And all the wolves are all between
And everyone's sure that the game is over

The catcher's hard
He's mean mean and hard
And he nips at the batter's heels
And everyone's sure that the game is over

The ball soars
And the crowd roars
And the scoreboard sweetly hums
And tomorrow you'll surely know whose won

The water's wide
It's deep and wide
It's a down a long and windy road
And everyone knows that a boy can't swim it

The clouds break
And the pews shake
And the preacher's feet do pound
As the rain beats the streets of Cooperstown

- The Felice Brothers: Cooperstown

If R.E.M. or the 80's had more balls...

Husker Du - Divide and Conquer

A Change Is gonna... who's making galbi?

I often ponder the change that will come in Korea when the next generation rise to adulthood. Currently - what with Korea's rigid elder-idolization - the word of the old folks is cast iron in Korean society. 30-40 year olds do not have prevailing say here. This country is more or less run by people - mostly men - in their 60's and 70's. These people have no tolerance for certain things. From what I've seen, here are some things that most elderly Koreans cannot tolerate, whether they be a farmer or the president:

- Women smoking in public
- Foreigners speaking on public transportation
- A female waiting until her mid-30's to wed
- Japan, or the admiration thereof
- A wife who does not become a surrogate mother to her husband
- Seeing a foreign man and a Korean (read: Asian) woman that are seemingly a couple
- Anything that deviates from the norm
- Being told that they're wrong, or to stop...

There are no doubt other, less apparent, aspects of life that elderly Koreans cannot handle, but these are the major examples I've witnessed. I believe the expectations of these people are significant only because they are on the decline.

It is my belief that as the old guard dies out, so too will their beliefs. This is hardly a revolutionary idea. Obviously all cultures change as younger generations come to power. But few countries I've ever visited or read about are in a position to have as big an overhaul as I believe Korea will. Young Koreans are a people who grew up in a vastly different world than their parents. They know almost nothing of war, they know almost nothing of agricultural labor, they are actively learning English at a furious clip, and they are fully engaged in the process of globalization. In short, the vast majority of young Koreans are progressive in a way that their parents couldn't even process. They [the youth] probably know this, and thus, their parents don't actually get to see how progressive they actually are. It's all hidden from them.

The generation gap in Korea is astounding. Make no mistake about it, regardless of what happens with its northern brethren, Korea will be a country transformed by 2030. I know that sounds like a ways away, but I guarantee you nobody my age ever realized how quickly we'd be knocking on the doorstep of 2010. Christ, that date still sounds like a futuristic, unimaginable age to me.
This is not to say that Korea will become America lite - it won't (that's solely a role reserved for Canada... just kidding, eh). Koreans will never forego a Kimchi diet in favor of one weighed down with burgers and fries. Just in the same way that Koreans will never totally think it's okay to, say, get married twice before they die. These are both western past times, and I believe they will always be so. The change in Korea will seem minor to us Westerners, and will probably go unnoticed. It will most likely be a mass sense that there's no longer a need to hide. For example, interracial couples will not be too intimidated to hold hands. Female smokers will not feel confined to lavatories. Unhappy couples will not dread the social stigma of a divorce (only one divorce). And maybe, just maybe, a few gay Koreans will not feel trapped within special neighborhoods in Seoul - though that's a topic for a whole other discussion.

Korea will progress with the new generation, because Koreans are generally kind hearted people who want others to feel happy. Just like kimchi and soju, the sense of a shared identity will never fully leave Korea. People here want all Koreans to feel joy, not just some of them. So when the open minds of the younger generation take the reigns, I think you will see those minds expand the scope of what is acceptable here. Though, in my opinion, the future doesn't bring a better Korea or a worse Korea; it simply brings the new Korea.

Prediction

Sufjan Stevens will be to our children's indie music what Television and Gang of Four were to ours. Thoughts?

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 13

There was no better waste of an hour than VH1's Behind the Music. Times were simple. Life was good.

Sidenote*
While almost all of the BHTM stories were rife with classic characters, there are some moments that vividly stand out in my mind. Thus, we have my short list of BHTM AllStars...

1. Poison's Bobby Dall - For conveying absolute zero sense that he's potentially speaking to millions of people. "He got to f*** the ultimate b****! I don't see what's so wrong with that." - while discussing lead singer Brett Michael's leaked sex tape with a pre-Tommy Lee Pam Anderson.

2. Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx - For his truly patriotic endurance and awareness of limits. "We used to bring our dealers along on tours, and we would do these things called 'power rails' before shows. These were essentially lines of coke that were 2inches x 6 feet long."

3. Cat Stevens - For the most non-secuitur life-changing religious revelation. "I went swimming at my friend's house in Malibu, and there was a terrible riptide. I was out in the ocean for maybe 1 hour. When I came out, I knew that I had to be a Muslim."

'Look at all the white men on the street...'

You wanna get down? Que up this war horse at any of middle ager's cocktail party, Slipknot concert, methadone clinic, or awkward hipster party... especially the last 40 seconds.

Seeds of Disapproval

I'm a spry 23 years of age, and there's still a lot that's great about that. I can say I'm closer to 20 than 30, people don't expect as much from as they will in 2 years, and I can still sort of get away with cheeky, boyish things. There's no limit to how pumped I am about all that.

However, it's undeniable that my body is not what it was even 2 years ago. The unforgiving tenets of age are just now beginning to make themselves clear to me, and I really want to punch them in the face.

Let me first say that this is not a post about weight. I put on a bunch of weight in college, but that had absolutely nothing to do with the aging process. High school dictated that I work out a pace that I assumed was normal, but I now consider to be almost unattainable. Think about it; in high school we all must get a solid 90-120 min of excercise Mon-Fri for most of the year. It's not a body image thing, it's just the daily routine of high school sports. Right? All this stops in college. And it happens to stop at the same time you realize that daily boozing, eating, and general lazing about are totally acceptable activities. Thus, you're gaining weight. I get that, and I totally accept it. But Korea's eating habits have more or less gotten me to a place where I'm eating healthier than I have in a long time. So the diet is there, and the exercise will be there just as soon as my teaching obligations lessen. Right. I'm not worried about that.

What I'm really talking about are the biological processes that would be happening regardless of physical fitness. These, to me, are the true signs that I've begun a long, slow (I know I've still got 25 years), decline to middle age.

All of sudden mysterious joints hurt. For the record, I had no idea that such things existed two years ago, and I was heavier then! All of a sudden I have to choose work out activities based on what specific part of my body is the least sore. It's pathetic to think about.

Though no facet of aging is more apparent to me than gratuitous hair growth. Now, some men don't have this problem. There are those dudes out there who are just biologically entitled to a relatively hairless existence. I used to have absolutely no envy for these guys. I did - and still do - consider my body hair to be an exciting part of my physical existence. Chest hair is fun, facial hair is fun... right? Well, yes and no. Like most things that occur in nature, anything can be good, but it is usually only so in moderation. For example, some seasonal rain is helpful to almost everything it covers. But too much rain can cause damaging floods. I feel the same way about my body hair. For the most part it is an aesthetically pleasing and balancing part of my being. But, now that age has taken hold, I'm finding hair in places that are hardly aesthetically pleasing or balancing.

The purpose of body hair is to provide cover/protection for what it covers. So why would the body grow hair on the back? Really, what could it possibly protect on my back? Could it shield me from a blow to the kidneys? No. Could fend off sneak attacks from ravenous animals? No. Could it do any good in preventing sunburn? No. So why is it there? It's there because nature's ability to balance itself hardly ever works. If it did, why would we have invasive plant species, floods, or humans, for that matter. Anything good that nature has ever given us usually ends up spilling just a bit out of the glass. Now, it's easy to clean up most of the time, but still, what a nuisance.

7 Weeks

So I'll be back in Yankeeland in 7 weeks. Whoa. I guess I'd like to say it feels like yesterday that I arrived here - it kind of does - but in many ways I absolutely feel like I've been gone for 45 weeks. To take a page from D. Hazlett, I'd like to list the things I'm super pumped to have around me September 1.

I'll Be Here

I'll be somewhere in this madness on September 5th, 2009.

... yes that is Billy Bob Thornton.

Koreans work harder than you pt. 4

The Korean version of the SAT is the craziest academic feat I've ever heard of. It's called the Soo Neun, and it IS the lives of all Koreans in the final year of high school. The soo neun is 8 hours long, and tests English, 'social studies', and absolutely everything in between.

This test is the make or break between a Korean who is professionally successful, mediocre, or stalled (assuming everything beyond the test goes well). Korea is not a place where you can drop out of high school, start your own business, and find success in your mid 20's - as several of my friends have done. The rigidity of the professional structure, and the overwhelming power of large conglomerates pretty much makes that option an impossibility.

And so the soo neun is life or death. How do students prepare for this most-olympian of exams? They study... A LOT! They study more than I've ever even imagined. As a high school senior in Korea, you are required to be at school from 9pm to 10pm. Period. No choice. Sports, extracurriculars, after school ice cream with friends... not an option. Plus, you must take a practice soo neun every weekend FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR leading up to the test.

"These poor kids. They must be in the peak of misery throughout this whole ordeal." That's what I thought when I first heard of the exam. Though, I later discovered that's hardly the case. I asked a group of young, female teachers about the test one night at a school dinner, and they had fond memories to share. Most of what they recalled were stories about spending a lot of time with their friends, away from their parents (which is a huge deal in Korea), all engaged in the same activity. It seemed as if their sense of solidarity trumped any realizations of how intense their task was.

A week later I was walking home late at night, when I spotted a large group of students walking my way. I soon saw that they were just part of a larger group leaving their school. I looked at my watch: 10pm. So I asked a group of boys, "are you leaving school?"

"Yes."
"Soo neun?" I asked.
"Ah ha ha, yes. Big test. Very deepeecurt."

But here's the catch: everyone seemed to be having a good time. Nobody looked like a zombie. I saw smiles, couples holding hands, girls giggling in groups, soccer balls careening to and fro, and boys playing grab ass in just the way I would have at that age. I was shocked. It made me recall my countenance after the SAT prep courses of yore... it was certainly nothing like theirs. I'm pretty sure the only thing on my mind was a massive sandwich and internet porn.

A Day on the Banks of... what river is this?

For me, rivers are IT when it comes to summer afternoons. Pools, lakes, even the ocean - I'd take a river over any of them on a listless July day. Rivers just seem that much more rustic and untouched, and that's appealing to me. You'll be hard pressed to find disgusting popsicle stands, kiddie railroads, and sandy asscracks on the banks of any good river. I guess, on the one hand, that's because they're inherently more dangerous than most other water features. But, on the other hand, to those who enjoy their environs, the danger partially makes the experience. It's not blatant danger, but it's present enough to make a full day by the river seem THAT much more exhilarating.

I suppose another part of my river jones has to do with my love of hiking, and the sense of discovery that comes with it. You'll never have to hike to a pool, lake, or ocean, whereas you'll often have to do at least a bit of trekking to find the 'good' spot along a river. This act of walking away from society is a huge part of my river-love. I don't care if the hike from the road to the spot is only 10 minutes. Quite frankly, it often is. Just the simple act of creating distance between myself and the 'front country' is intoxicating. For me, there the hike creates the illusion that I've discovered something special (regardless if there are 40 other people there). It also creates a sense of privacy - like myself and all the other revelers are in some way removed from the confines of society. How that manifests itself... well, you'll just have to come to a river with me someday.

For the most part, river outings in America are minimalist affairs. We'll bring a backpack, some beverages, a towel, and maybe some trail mix or a sandwich. Anything else would be overkill. I should have assumed that Koreans take the complete opposite approach. Three weeks ago I found myself on the banks of a GORGEOUS little river, with enough gear to feed and put up a family for an entire weekend. We had a tent, a miniature gas barbecue, a glut of meat, kimchi, lettuce, various sauces, beers, changes of clothes, and obviously large coolers for all of this. While I still felt as if I had discovered something - via my generous Korean guides/friends - that I had done so with a moving cornucopia seemed like slight overkill. Then again, if I'm not getting out of my comfort zone in Korea, what the hell am I doing here?