Vomitus Operandi

(pouring some soj)
I see people vomiting weekly. I see piles of vomit weekly. It's not like they're every block, but it's safe to say I've never been around so much vomit in my entire life. I don't mind this one bit. Vomit never really bothered me, in fact, I've had an inordinate amount of experience vomiting next to and coaching others engaged in a full upchuck. Let's just say I've clasped my fair share of ponytails. But again, this doesn't bum me out, not one bit.

Though I'm still surprised that it's as prevalent here as it is. Clearly the excessive drinking is to blame, which is another post untoitself. Nope, I've got time, so I'm going to write about it now. I've never seen people drink like Koreans. Or let me put it another way: I've never seen people get drunk like Koreans. Now, like most prominent features of Korean society, men are basically the standard-bearers. They are the ones leaning on each other while they stagger home at 1am on a weeknight. They are the ones you'll see through restaurant windows piling up the soju. They are the ones doing the puking. Well, at least in public. I have been drunk with Korean women, but I'm not held to the traditional male standard. I would be shocked to see men and women downing soju all together at a restaurant. Maybe it happens, but I've never seen it.

I have no idea why drinking is such a right of passage in Korea. I'll have to do some research and make an amended post later on. But make no mistake, MOST Korean men are getting drunk at least one night a week. And I mean TOTALLY WASTED. The kind of drunk that has you sitting on the sidewalk in protest because your friend accused you of being too drunk (I've seen this happen several times). The kind of drunk that had a man lunge at my friend on the subway, only to faceplant into his lap, spilling coffee all over both of them. It's a wild drunk that's not to be messed with. Any night in Korea is filled with these pseudo-zombie working men, and you must be wary of them. These men have spanked me on three occassions for speaking to my friends on the subway. It's fair to say they are one facet of this culture I won't miss.

Though I will miss the drinking culture that breeds their incessant inebriation. There's no such thing as tipping at a bar, and drinks are not hazardously marked up the way we're used to. Plus, those bars will stay open until all hours of the morning. I've been in several drinking holes here whose policy is to remain open until the last person leaves. Can you imagine that? It's a scary thought sometimes, especially considering the tattered state of our economy and the stress many feel as a result. 'No, it's ok. Stay and drink as long as you want. I won't leave you.' Or at least that's how I imagine it must sound to a drunk down on his luck. But I love it. I'm young and I have the stamina to make use of those flexible hours staying out doing god-knows-what with the friends I've accrued - most likely lying to ourselves about the 24 hour McDonalds we're eventually going to have.

But for some reason we won't throw it all up. My crew is not big on the vomiting and I think that's unfortunate. Perhaps it would help us fit in more. All jokes aside, you could puke on the street and hardly anyone would bat an eye. If that's not freedom I don't know what is.