Apple Reports Second Quarter Results
8 years ago
Apr 15, 2009
Knotty
Friends of mine have begun to get accepted to grad schools and I'm conflicted about it. Of course I'm thrilled for them. These people worked hard and got exactly what they deserved. In that sense the whole thing has reaffirmed my sense of karmic justice. But I'm stressed. Did I make the right decision coming to Korea? In the long run, will I regret coming here and essentially taking a year off from career hunting and engaging my mind with study? I want to do more school, but I'm pretty sure teaching is not my call. But then again, I'm a history major who has never been certain of his call. Yes yes, such are the worries of so many other Arts and Sciences grads out there, but of course mine are all to real... to me. I don't think this experience will do much for resume. I mean, how can it? But that's not the point, right? The point is that I got out and saw a slice of life few from my station have seen. I've eaten things and spoken to people I could never have had I not gone ahead with this oriental adventure I'm on. But did I do it because I knew I was too afraid for responsibility right out of the gate? I'm having some serious waves of self-doubt if you can't tell. There's no real solution to what I'm talking about. Life will happen, and I will continue to exist within it. I need to learn to be more proactive. I need to learn to take on challenges with confidence instead of latent apprehension. I've always pledged to myself that I would keep this blog free from this kind of meladramatic drivel, but it is supposed to be a log of my Korea experiences, right? This is real. This is what a lot of my time has been about. Sometimes I'll walking around my class 'inspecting' students work, but my mind will actually be thousands of miles away pondering, percolating, doubting. I wonder if my co can tell? I don't care. Will it be hard languishing in grad school while my other friends have graduated and found career success? Yes, perhaps. I suspect a lot of things will be hard. That's to be expected. Enough mental/emotional diahrrea. Sorry.
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1.) Some of your friends are in Grad school right now. You will be chest-deep in that shit in less than two years. What is two years in the span of an entire career? When you're 40, will you be thinking, "Man, if I didn't go to Korea after college, I could have been in this exact position at 38"?
ReplyDeleteAnd, if you do have a career, your position at 38 probably won't be that much different than it will be at 40.
2.) In five years, where ever you may be, do you honestly think that you'll look back on this year and regret it? I highly doubt that. You'll look back and say "That was absurd and awesome, and I had the time of my life." Yes, the teaching sucks sometimes. I know that. But, think about Tokyo, and Malaysia, and all of the personal memories in Korea that you will have for the rest of your life. Polly's Kettle, getting loose at a galbi joint, golden gai, Yo La Tengo/Scar night, whatever sketch stuff will go down in Busan soon.
3.) It sounds like you need another Seoul rager soon.
I think Coop is dead on my friend. It doesn't matter when you go to grad school, a year or four years later. All that matters is that you will eventually go. I was sitting with friends the other day, chatting about next year, and I said i'll be in peru from sept to feb then peace corps march to july 2012. And someone replied, "so you pretty much have your life planned for the next three years?" As much as that comment scared the shit out of me, it didn't bother me. All things will come due in their time and when they are ready. Grad school will be there when I need it to be and when I want it to be. Same for you. Don't ever let your peers be the basis of comparison for your own life. You are your own comparison. You're only 23 for crying out loud. ADIOS!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, welcome to one full year in Korea!
ReplyDeleteMy coteacher was so confused when I told him in July that I was feeling "jaded" from my experience... (he didn't know what the word meant, thank god for Korean cell phones)
But nonetheless, you won't regret the experience... I can guarantee that.
ReplyDeleteI will always prize my experience of lighting an arcade machine on fire on the beaches of Samcheok and having the Korean military arrive in full gear in an attempt to tell us to stop.
Oh, and on top of that... swimming in the ocean naked and having four police officers arrive asking for my panties and passport.
ReplyDelete"no panties, no passport?"