The Obama Story

All elementary school English teachers must make a visit to the local English Zone twice a year. This entails hanging out with a group of kids in different simulated environments, and having the same scripted discourse with each and every single one of them. I finished my time there last semester thinking - on account my co teacher telling me so - that I would never have to bare this torture again. That was nothing but a cruel tease. I did have to return, and it was just as mind-numbingly tedious as the first time. However, there was one thing that kept this recent experience at least a little exciting: The Obama Story.

I discovered The Obama Story almost immediately on my first day back. There it lay, quietly calling to me amongst all the other banal preparatory English texts. 'Could this be real?' I thought. 'No way!' But sure enough, it was everything I imagined it could be. A Korean-American author and Korean illustrator had basically put together a graphic novel depicting Barack Obama's life. It is amazing. Just imagine taking someone's very real life and putting it through some sort of anime playdough-shaper. In this case, we have the magical gift to life known as The Obama Story.

Here is the cover and some selected pages to whet your appetite.






(notice this is where he meets Michelle...)

Does the President or any of his people know this exists? I've seen a lot of things in Korea, but this ranks way up there in almost all categories... hilarity, ridiculousness, awkwardness, etc etc...

(Do yourself a favor and zoom in on that text if you can't read it. Korea!)

I Caved (Phish - Harry Hood - 10.21.95)

1:30 - 8:45 is really all that matters. It's not for everyone, but goddamn is it powerful for those in its grasp... myself included.

Enjoy your weekend!

Pugilistic Proclivities

I know that I've already detailed my students' love for violent physical contact, but I feel that I must update now that their tactics have changed. Yes, the hitting still goes down. However, I've realized that most of the intra-student hitting has been confined to girl on boy situations. Boys, for the most part, are not assaulting each other with the viciousness that they recieve from the girls. But, the boys are most definitely still hurting each other.

I've noticed a massive uptick in what I call 'pain games' amongst the dudes. Now I don't want to make it seem like these are a phenomenon unique to Korea. I absolutely played my fair share of bloody knuckles and indian rug burn when I was a little son-of-a-bitch. Little boys fuck around in the same way that small animals do. It's fun, sure, but there's a tangible proving ground element as well. All boys want to know who can hit the hardest, run the fastest, and take the most pain. It's part of growing up, though, it's somewhat disquieting that these tendencies really never leave most men. If anything, they just get watered down with maturity. I can't believe that they ever fully die.

Korean 'pain games' are pretty standard. The two most popular are 'the two finger stinger' and 'the third eye'- as I call them. In the 'stinger,' two opponents will square off in a wicked rock/paper/scissors match, and the loser must take bare a well-practiced two-finger slap to the bound underbelly of the forearm. 'The third eye,' which I consider to be much more unfortunate, is also based off a r/p/s match, only this time the loser must take a vicious finger flick (think paper football) to the forehead. For some reason that seems like the absolute opposite of pleasant. A finger slap I can take, but an unchecked flick to my face... fucking forget about it!

I can't emphasize enough how commonplace these games are on a daily basis. I bet I could look up from this screen right now and see at least two games going on. Yes! Literally, right now there are four games happening around me, including one mixed-gender game - a pretty progressive move on the part of the players. But like so many things in elementary school, I get the distinct sense that these games are all part of a fad. Like pogs and Tickle-me-Elmo, I'm sure these pain games will blow away in the next few weeks. Fads, like pain games themselves, are certainly not confined to one part of the globe.

Finally, I want to shed light on the one difference I've seen between Korean pain games and American pain games: the amount of tears shed. In Korean pain games, someone inevitably cries. This is concrete. Now, in America I feel that nagging parents would have nipped this all in the bud by saying, "Don't start this, because one of you will surely start crying!" But Korean parenting doesn't work that way. Many women here have told me that parents' views on fighting are much more laissez faire. In short, many parents believe that fighting is natural, and that basic rough-housing provides an opportunity for personal growth. And how does that ethos manifest itself? Korean kids are fighting/hitting/flicking each other ALL THE TIME. And, like I said, one boy in the group will always cry.

So it's gotten to the point where I no longer care about kids crying, and I don't know how I should feel about it. On one hand, I partially agree that kids should learn some conflict resolution skills by actually getting their hands dirty. Parents could never simulate the intense pressure of having to face down a peer without a safety net - which is something every child will have to do sooner or later. On the other hand, a kid crying is a kid who's very very unhappy. Isn't it my role as a teacher to keep my students as happy as possible? It's a very bizarre situation. But then again - as I keep reminding myself - I'm not in Kansas anymore.

Help

I want to find a band that equals Lettuce in terms of funk mastery. I am eagerly accepting recommendations now...

(yes, I've already heard Soulive, but I haven't travelled outside of Turn it Out. I could go deeper at your behest...)

It's on the books.

There's one thing I've fantasized about all this year, and now I can officially mark it on a calendar. On September 8, 2009 I will return to my second home - the magnificent, the inspired, the marvel that is the great state of Vermont.

Dynamic Ulleung-do

There's not many places in Korea I want to visit more than the island of Ulleung. Korea's two major island destinations are Ulleung and Jeju - with the former being the less travelled, less exotic, and generally less appealing option. It is for this reason that I'm excited to go there.

Ulleung's main draw to Koreans, ironically, is another island. It is only from Ulleung that you can access Dokdo - Korea's football field-sized land dispute with Japan. Koreans are obsessed with Dokdo, but I detailed that in a previous post. I imagine I will be one of the few on my trip who has really no interest in taking the viewing tour of the embattled island, and I couldn't be happier about that.

Ulleung fascinates me because it is a perpetually overlooked island community in a country that gives no mind to also-rans. There's almost no appreciation for hidden treasures here, and I find that stifling. That's what Ulleung is to me. Or, at least what I hope it will be. I have no idea how I'll make it up there with my schedule, but I'm damn sure going to try.

Anyway, Korea's 'official' tourism website has a write-up that is not to be missed. Readers take note: this is a typical Korean tourist propaganda. Nobody here has any sense that Korea's English tourism slogans are totally bizarre. For example, Korea's national English slogan is 'Korea Sparkling.' What?! The city of Busan went with this gem: 'Dynamic Busan.' Again, what?! Hey, they're trying, and that's what matters. I must always remind myself that. Sorry, I digress. Here's the first paragraph of the tourism website's write up. It's certainly not what sold me, but maybe some other people out there will get pumped about Ulleung's 'three fews, and five manys.'

A mysterious island full of dreams and romance, Ullengdo can be reached by a three-hour ferry ride from Mukho or Pohang. It is famous for being a land of three fews and five manys: there are no thieves, pollution, and snakes, but many Juniper trees, beautiful women and stones as well as much wind and water.

Beyond Whistler

In a surprsing move, Ethan Hawke wrote a startlingly good piece on one of his heroes in last month's Rolling Stone. The subject - Kris Kristofferson - is as inspiring as any one man could be. He is a man who can hardly thank luck for anything he has achieved. His success is the direct result of a seemingly unbridled talent, and cast iron sense of self. Despite past shortcomings, he seems to have emerged as integrity embodied.

We meet our hero backstage at a birthday bash for Willie Nelson in the not too distant past. The story that follows is as righteous and rock and roll as anything I've read in the pages of this hallowed rock rag. I found it so amusing that I just had to include it below. If you like what you've read, then I heavily suggest you head over to rollingstone.com for the rest. Enjoy.

Standing backstage at the Beacon Theatre in New York, leaning against a crumbling brick wall in the dark, I could barely see Kris Kristofferson standing to my left. Willie Nelson was in the shadows to my right. Ray Charles was standing beside Willie, idly shifting his weight back and forth. A bit farther along the wall were Elvis Costello, Wyclef Jean, Norah Jones, Shelby Lynne, Paul Simon and respective managers, friends and family. Everybody was nervous and tight. We were there for Willie Nelson's 70th birthday concert in 2003.

Up from the basement came one of country music's brightest stars (who shall remain nameless). At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age.

"Happy birthday," the Star said to Willie, breezing by us. As he passed Kristofferson in one long, confident stride, out of the corner of his mouth came "None of that lefty shit out there tonight, Kris."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Kris growled, stepping forward.

"Oh, no," groaned Willie under his breath. "Don't get Kris all riled up."

"You heard me," the Star said, walking away in the darkness.

"Don't turn your back to me, boy," Kristofferson shouted, not giving a shit that basically the entire music industry seemed to be flanking him.

The Star turned around: "I don't want any problems, Kris — I just want you to tone it down."

"You ever worn your country's uniform?" Kris asked rhetorically.

"What?"

"Don't 'What?' me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer." He paused just long enough to get a full chest of air. "I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, no, you have not. Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not. So shut the fuck up!" I could feel his body pulsing with anger next to me. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about!"

"Whatever," the young Star muttered.

Ray Charles stood motionless. Willie Nelson looked at me and shrugged mischievously like a kid in the back of the classroom.
Kristofferson took a deep inhale and leaned against the wall, still vibrating with adrenaline. He looked over at Willie as if to say, "Don't say a word." Then his eyes found me.

"You know what Waylon Jennings said about guys like him?" he whispered.
I shook my head.
"They're doin' to country music what pantyhose did to finger-fuckin'."

200th Post.

So I've made it this far with Hyundaiprop blog, and I'm proud of that. Well, sort of. Not too long ago I thought blogs were for self-important hacks, so maybe that's what I've become. Either way, I can't think of a better way to celebrate than exposing the world to Pete Postlewaite - a great actor, and the reason I so often win games of celebrity trivia.