Keep your panties on, ladies...

Pat Metheny Group - Jaco

An epic song from unquestionably one of the sexiest men in music... ever.

*thanks again, Jeff.

A Karl Rove quote I can get behind...

Tonight I checked out a recent Karl Rove interview on youtube assuming, per usual, that he would dismiss every Democratic idea and basically not peer one inch over his party line. Not only was that not entirely the case, but he actually said something I completely agreed with. I feel, and have always felt, that 100 days is an absurd timetable to throw at any president. Even if a President's first 3 months are successful in the eyes of the people, god knows what will happen in the remaining 3.75 years he/she is around. I mean, who could have predicted in March 2001 what our new President would have to deal with that September. Who knows what Obama will be faced with this September, or beyond? We should all just hope for the best, and more to the point, we should hope that the United States is on its way to recovery by the time Obama ends his first term. That will be his legacy, not this ridiculously magnified first three months. Anyway, here's what Karl had to say...

"Let’s step back here. Whether it’s domestic or international, this 100 days is an artificial deadline. It’s a construct that the media has. The White House – every White House – prepares for it endlessly; develops story lines, prepares spinners, gets everybody out there working from top to bottom. But in reality, the first 100 days is not a lot of time for any administration to begin to set things in concrete. We saw this, for example, with Bill Clinton, who started off with a very bad first 3 months, and then recovered. And Jimmy Carter, who started out with a pretty good first 100 days, and then deteriorated after that." - Karl Rove defending the Obama administration amidst questions about its first 100 days.

Dongcheem... yea whatever.

I've written before about my male students' proclivity for poking each other, and me, in the buttcrack. It's a ritual that seems as old as time here. It's officially called dongcheem (pronounced dthong-cheem)and it's everywhere. Like I said, I've written about it before so I'll spare you the details.

One boy has risen to the top of the dongcheem ranks, at least when it comes to attacks on me. His name is Taek Hyun. He is merciless. But the thing you need to understand about him is that he's totally harmless. He's somehow figured out a way to ass-poke me without me even minding. He even has me laughing at him by now.

Yesterday I had his afterschool class working on constructing their family trees. He was a little confused about the idea of cousins, so I dutifully went over to clear up the issue. I slowly explained the breakdown to him using clear examples and animated body language. He simply looked at me for a second, nodded, and poked two fingers into my ass. Dongcheem! And then he got back to work. No celebratory laugh, chortle, or fist pump. Nothing. Just a check of my oil and back to business. He's a good man.

Morning Tunes 4/29

Artist: Motel Motel
Song: Coffee
Album: Old York EP

Amen!

I play a lot open mics, which means I perform and hear a slew of covers. They're necessary in the life of a young musician. Now I always try to play covers with integrity. Not that my performance of them has integrity, but that I feel good enough about the songs that I can hide behind them. This usually means that I don't play a lot of fan favorites. I did for a while, but then I abruptly stopped when I realized nobody was listening anymore than when I was tearing through obscure Whiskeytown songs - which I would much rather be playing/hiding behind. Regardless, I have warbled my way through classics like Wonderwall, Old Apartment, Tiny Dancer, The Gambler etc. Having been there, I can tell you that some covers need to be put to rest. These are songs that have been covered so many times that there is little arable land left on their creative field. They are essentially the New Jersey of songs. I recently discovered a great piece on pastemagazine.com about this very topic. Here is what they have to say...

We’ve got nothing against cover songs. In fact, we love a good unexpected cover. But certain songs should be retired after a couple hundred versions. We hereby declare a moratorium on covering the following ten songs.

10. U2 “One”
Just picture it: an over-earnest bar singer propped up in the corner with his music stand and his bulging folder of song lyrics, closing his eyes during the chorus and actually thinking that he can solve the world’s problems by covering Bono’s inspirational hit.

9. Nancy Sinatra “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’”
Dear Jessica Simpson: Your boots are so worn out that you can barely walk in them anymore, and we never want to hear about them ever again. You should stick to designing boots.

8. Fleetwood Mac “Landslide”
It’s not that we have a problem with the Smashing Pumpkins’ or the Dixie Chicks’ versions—it’s everything in between.

7. Oasis “Wonderwall”
Covered by Jay-Z, Ryan Adams, Howie Day, Cat Power, The Beastie Boys, and—most unfortunately—Cartel.

6. Gnarls Barkley “Crazy”
Though the Ray LaMontagne version is kinda cool, the original song was played constantly on the radio for a year, and that was enough. Plus, some would argue that the song’s success lies in its delivery, not the melody.

5. Britney Spears “Oops I Did It Again”
It’s not funny to cover a song simply to be ironic or cute.

4. The Beatles “Hey Jude”
This one is especially annoying when the singer in question gets drunk on the power of leading that crowd singalong part.

3. Bob Dylan “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door”
If only because Guns N’ Roses perfected it, so there's really no need for anyone else to attempt a cover.

2. Lynyrd Skynyrd “Freebird”
Because if bands aren’t allowed to cover it, then drunk frat boys will have no reason to request it!

1. Leonard Cohen “Hallelujah”
Enough with the covers of Jeff Buckley’s cover of Leonard Cohen’s masterpiece. It’s a beautiful song, no doubt, but “Hallelujah” has to be the most overdone encore for singer-songwriters. We’re even getting tired of hearing Brandi Carlile sing this song. And we don't get tired of Brandi Carlile very easily.

Hang him!!!

It has to be said. There should probably be a coup if we (who?) decide that Obama's first 100 days were not up to snuff. I mean, how could he have tricked us into thinking that he could fix everything right away? Damnit! Those other 1360 days hardly even matter. He might as well just play basketball the whole time. 100 days or bust!

Bear in a Bucket

I have the good fortune of being friends with a pair of beautiful, charming Korean women, and we have a tradition where they take me to a 'very' Korean restaurant during weekends. I say 'very' Korean because it's important to me that we hit up places most foreigners would be too intimidated to try. Not only do I get a kick from the exclusivity of the affair, but the food is usually orgasmic as well.

Last Sunday's adventure was no different. We headed about 35 minutes outside of the city and ended up at a very peculiar place. It was essentially 1/2 restaurant and 1/2 'historical village'. The servers dressed in their actual clothes, but the whole thing had a very theme-y vibe. Duck was the name of the game, but not just any duck, this restaurant made its reputation by putting tender slices of roasted duck inside a cooked pumpkin. Doesn't sound appetizing? It absolutely was. But the food ended up being half the fun.

Afterwards we discovered a greenhouse and somebody let me know I could buy a scented candle there. Don't ask me why I was in the market for one, I was, so I headed over. While perusing the isles of greenery I discovered the true trump card of the afternoon: two baby bears in a large bucket. BEARS! Somehow this greenhouse/insense/candle shop had arranged to display two baby bears during shopping hours. So naturally a crowd gathered, pictures got snapped, and people even held the bears like babies. While I found the display a little sad, I couldn't help but take a shot coddling a bear. I mean, who do you know who has coddled a bear? At one point I even let a bear teethe on my finger. My finger was in a bear's mouth. Yes! What did you do Sunday night?

Morning Tunes 4/28

Artist: Great Lake Swimmers
Song: Various Stages
Album: Bodies and Minds

Pegboy -Through My Fingers

This song is absolutely in my top favorite 5 punk tunes. I pretty much just want to be in this band - in any roll. The video is trash, so just listen to the song. Sorry I'm going to so video crazy. This will be the last for at least another week, I promise.

Iron Mike

I watched "Tyson" nearly 24 hours ago and I'm still thoroughly in its grip. I don't think I've been as mentally and emotionally possessed by a documentary since "Fahrenheit 9/11". I am still, after hours of reflection, completely conflicted as to how I should feel about Mike Tyson. You find yourself immediately drawn to him, and then repulsed just as quickly. The whole thing was basically an event of visceral contrasts, at least for me. I felt equal parts warmth and shear terror. Ok look, I still am not sure how to feel about him, so I'll leave it at that. Please see this movie and let me know what you think. It's utterly mesmerizing.

Bela Fleck and the Flecktones - Big Country

Someone once told me this song 'is life'. Now, that's clearly an absurd thing to say. No one song could ever be life, except perhaps "The Gambler". Still, this song is timeless and achingly beautiful... more so than most. Enjoy.

Hold on... I gotta let one go.

This morning I saw a curious thing on my way to school. There's a small boy - maybe in 2nd grade - who always happens upon me as I'm turning the final corner on my route. We usually exchange pleasant smiles, and laugh at funny faces we trade back and forth. It's all very stimulating.

I see men peeing in public all the time here. Thankfully their backs are turned to the public, but it's no mystery what's going on. Nobody seems to care, and neither do I. Then this morning I saw my little buddy doing exactly that. He had positioned himself in between a minivan and a building, and was casually urinating. This would have hardly been shocking had it been an old man. But there was something bizarre about seeing such a small person engaged in an old-er person's activity. It would have been like happening upon a 7 year old playing street craps or sneaking a cigarette on his lunch break. I don't know why I reacted this way, but I did. So he finished and caught up to me with his usual jolly grin. I started laughing, and I got the sense he knew what was up.

Why couldn't he have peed at his house? I mean usually older people publicly relieve themselves out of desperation, indifference, or drunkeness. Could my friend have felt one of these things? Was he indifferent? Does he do that often? These are questions I would love to ask him. Moments like those make me feel lucky I landed in elementary school. I wasn't happy about it at first, but now I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 9

This man had limitless ability to make cynical, disenfranchised college girls feel weak in the knees. Times were simple. Life was good.

Let's get buffed!

Joining a gym has probably been the most interesting thing I've done since my travelling spurt in January/February. The gym is, for the most part, the same as any gym you would find in the states. There's a row of treadmills, a row of bikes, a smattering of machines, and a designated free weight area. The whole gym also looks over an alluring pool that I still need to build up the courage to use. I'm not afraid of the pool, just of the choppy, broken English I'll need to employ to get past the women at the desk. All this is not what's exciting. The locker room and the muscle buffers are the real attractions.

I'll say right now that I'm not entirely comfortable sharing with the world what goes on in a Korean men's locker room. While it's nothing too shocking, let's just say that the grooming regimen of most Korean men is a bit more detailed than I'm used to. I will however discuss the strangest in-gym apparatus I've ever seen: the muscle buffer.

My gym has three muscle buffers and they're almost always in use. Essentially the muscle buffer is a thick strap attached to mechanic knobs that rotate at a furious speed. Can you picture drying your lower back with a thin length of towel by pulling it back and forth? This is basically what goes down, but much more aggressively. At first glance it seems as if the people are in a state of semi-convulsion, but with faces completely calm. The buffers are manufactured to reach almost all muscles. Many place them behind the lower back and on the shoulders, but there are the brave few who put them right on the ass. That's right, some people - mostly women - casually stand there as a strap angrily vibrates against their aged posteriors. It's a sight to behold.

Do I think the muscle buffer will catch on in the states? No. Will I give it a shot while I'm here? Probably... not. And I only say that out of fear that I'll like it too much.

Ridiculous English Shirt Sighting 4/24

"Soldier Ape Said... Go Bape!"

I have no doubt that the boy wearing this shirt has no idea what a soldier or an ape are. And I have no idea what baping is.

Morning Tunes 4/24

Artist: Band of Horses
Song: Is there a Ghost
Album: Cease to Begin

Morning Tunes 4/21

Artist: Phish
Song: Halley's Comet
Album: Live Phish 1 Binghamton, NY

*note - one of the cooler segues I've heard them do. Comet > NICU.

Morning Tunes 4/20

Artist: Old 97's
Song: Timebomb
Album: Too Far to Care

Silver Stallion

The Reason I was a History Major

Probably two of the funniest internet discoveries I've made so far. Yep, I've been there...

Drunk History vol. 2 - Featuring Jack Black from Jack Black

Drunk History 4 - Featuring Paul Schneider - watch more funny videos

Clear Thinking

One of the joys I've had in Korea has been riding the high speed train that stretches lenthwise across the country. I always heard stories about such trains from friends in Europe and elsewhere, and the idea appealed to me for several reasons. First, I love trains. I love how smooth they are, and I've always found them more relaxing than a car on a long stretch. Second, I love the idea of moving peacefully at high speeds. I mean, who doesn't? Third, the history guy in me likes the idea that they come from a long historical tradition. Trains changed the world, and I'm genuinely pleased that they never faded into antiquity.

But they never caught on in America, and I get that. Cars were America's industry, and owning one was a right of passage for all Americans who considered themselves prosperous. Then 'the war' happened and 'a car in the driveway' became a bar that all Americans were supposed to strive for, prosperous or not. Cars humbled the American passenger rail business, but so did the sheer size of the country. Europe, Korea, and Japan all have successful passenger rail systems, but they're all quite small in comparison. Plus, their cars operate on gas bought at a much higher price than in America. Clearly trains make the most sense in places where distances and gas costs work in their favor, but does that mean we can't try? I have always felt/wished/hoped that trains would make a come back in American popular culture.

Has Obama made this a reality?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/17/us/politics/17train.html?hp

This is one of these political moves that I find inspiring simply because it appeals to common sense. A bolstered American passenger rail can pretty much do nothing but good, in my opinion. Of course Republicans will disagree with the idea because it's too New Deal-y, but screw 'em quite frankly. Anyway, check out the article...

I'll leave you with this passage as a clear example of why I love our president and the way he thinks...

"What we need, then, is a smart transportation system equal to the needs of the 21st century,” he said, “a system that reduces travel times and increases mobility, a system that reduces congestion and boosts productivity, a system that reduces destructive emissions and creates jobs.”

And he added, “There’s no reason why we can’t do this."

Bad ass.

Morning Tunes 4/17

Artist: Erykah Badu
Song: On and On
Album: Baduism



"You said you would take me to see WuTang baby, so I braided my hair..." - Erykah Badu

Vomitus Operandi

(pouring some soj)
I see people vomiting weekly. I see piles of vomit weekly. It's not like they're every block, but it's safe to say I've never been around so much vomit in my entire life. I don't mind this one bit. Vomit never really bothered me, in fact, I've had an inordinate amount of experience vomiting next to and coaching others engaged in a full upchuck. Let's just say I've clasped my fair share of ponytails. But again, this doesn't bum me out, not one bit.

Though I'm still surprised that it's as prevalent here as it is. Clearly the excessive drinking is to blame, which is another post untoitself. Nope, I've got time, so I'm going to write about it now. I've never seen people drink like Koreans. Or let me put it another way: I've never seen people get drunk like Koreans. Now, like most prominent features of Korean society, men are basically the standard-bearers. They are the ones leaning on each other while they stagger home at 1am on a weeknight. They are the ones you'll see through restaurant windows piling up the soju. They are the ones doing the puking. Well, at least in public. I have been drunk with Korean women, but I'm not held to the traditional male standard. I would be shocked to see men and women downing soju all together at a restaurant. Maybe it happens, but I've never seen it.

I have no idea why drinking is such a right of passage in Korea. I'll have to do some research and make an amended post later on. But make no mistake, MOST Korean men are getting drunk at least one night a week. And I mean TOTALLY WASTED. The kind of drunk that has you sitting on the sidewalk in protest because your friend accused you of being too drunk (I've seen this happen several times). The kind of drunk that had a man lunge at my friend on the subway, only to faceplant into his lap, spilling coffee all over both of them. It's a wild drunk that's not to be messed with. Any night in Korea is filled with these pseudo-zombie working men, and you must be wary of them. These men have spanked me on three occassions for speaking to my friends on the subway. It's fair to say they are one facet of this culture I won't miss.

Though I will miss the drinking culture that breeds their incessant inebriation. There's no such thing as tipping at a bar, and drinks are not hazardously marked up the way we're used to. Plus, those bars will stay open until all hours of the morning. I've been in several drinking holes here whose policy is to remain open until the last person leaves. Can you imagine that? It's a scary thought sometimes, especially considering the tattered state of our economy and the stress many feel as a result. 'No, it's ok. Stay and drink as long as you want. I won't leave you.' Or at least that's how I imagine it must sound to a drunk down on his luck. But I love it. I'm young and I have the stamina to make use of those flexible hours staying out doing god-knows-what with the friends I've accrued - most likely lying to ourselves about the 24 hour McDonalds we're eventually going to have.

But for some reason we won't throw it all up. My crew is not big on the vomiting and I think that's unfortunate. Perhaps it would help us fit in more. All jokes aside, you could puke on the street and hardly anyone would bat an eye. If that's not freedom I don't know what is.

Knotty

Friends of mine have begun to get accepted to grad schools and I'm conflicted about it. Of course I'm thrilled for them. These people worked hard and got exactly what they deserved. In that sense the whole thing has reaffirmed my sense of karmic justice. But I'm stressed. Did I make the right decision coming to Korea? In the long run, will I regret coming here and essentially taking a year off from career hunting and engaging my mind with study? I want to do more school, but I'm pretty sure teaching is not my call. But then again, I'm a history major who has never been certain of his call. Yes yes, such are the worries of so many other Arts and Sciences grads out there, but of course mine are all to real... to me. I don't think this experience will do much for resume. I mean, how can it? But that's not the point, right? The point is that I got out and saw a slice of life few from my station have seen. I've eaten things and spoken to people I could never have had I not gone ahead with this oriental adventure I'm on. But did I do it because I knew I was too afraid for responsibility right out of the gate? I'm having some serious waves of self-doubt if you can't tell. There's no real solution to what I'm talking about. Life will happen, and I will continue to exist within it. I need to learn to be more proactive. I need to learn to take on challenges with confidence instead of latent apprehension. I've always pledged to myself that I would keep this blog free from this kind of meladramatic drivel, but it is supposed to be a log of my Korea experiences, right? This is real. This is what a lot of my time has been about. Sometimes I'll walking around my class 'inspecting' students work, but my mind will actually be thousands of miles away pondering, percolating, doubting. I wonder if my co can tell? I don't care. Will it be hard languishing in grad school while my other friends have graduated and found career success? Yes, perhaps. I suspect a lot of things will be hard. That's to be expected. Enough mental/emotional diahrrea. Sorry.

Big is Beautiful

This is a conversation my friend had with her Korean co-teacher. Let me be clear, the co-teacher's thinking is not bizarre or shocking to anyone who has taught here for some months. I mean, what is there to say about this?

(copy/pasted from a facebook thread)

CoTeacher: aw, you are so nice to help that boy.
Me: Oh, well I know that he needs help (because he's obviously special needs).
CoTeacher: Oh yes. He is very fat. (which he is but .... but...)

Morning Tunes 4/16

Artist: Allman Brothers Band
Song: Desdemona
Album: Hittin the Note

*again, I just can't have enough Derek Trucks right now.

...but I did like him in Camp Nowhere...

Gobstopper Trailer from Gobstopper Movie

Everyone always liked Christopher Lloyd in his hayday, I did too, but he also kind of scared the shit out of me. This video is a perfect example of what I mean.

Morning Tunes 4/15

Artist: The Allman Brothers Band
Song: The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Album: Endless Highway - A Tribute to the Band

*I'm in the middle of a deep and terrifying Derek Trucks obsession at the moment.

Morning Tunes 4/14

Artist: Pelican
Song: City of Labels
Album: City of Echoes

A Man for all Seasons

Iron and Wine (aka Sam Beam) came into my life a few months before graduating high school, and he's been an absolute fixture ever since. I, like all of his followers, fell in love with the ghostly quality in his voice and the organic, homespun feel to his songs. But his sound initially was very much a niche sound. He was one of those 'sleep' artists, and, judging from his first two albums, would never make any sort of energetic, dace-able music. But that's just what he did. Like all artists of significant talent, Beam began taking serious musical risks, and proved that the only thing defining his sound is the mood he's in when he's creating it. In truth, listening to his newer stuff kind of makes the early work sound... well, look at it this way: if the older songs are mashed potatoes, then the newer songs are the whole Thanksgiving feast.

The Iron and Wine live experience is always fascinating. Like Dylan before him, Beam performs plastic surgery on a lot of his old songs. The soul, the body is still the same, but in some cases the face may be completely different. The two videos below display what I'm trying to get at here. Which Iron and Wine is your favorite? Actually that's an unfair question. Neither face is better... only different.

* - check out the percussionist 1:00 in. I feel like he's the adult incarnation of many dudes I went to college with. Lastly, this song gets blissfully awesome at roughly 4:30.

My Saturday Face

An Ulsan bar called "The Royal Anchor" hosted an 80's party on Saturday night. It had been the talk of the town all week, which should give you a good idea about the level of distraction that Ulsan provides for us expats on a weekly basis. Seoul it aint, but that's just fine with us. Anyway, I really wasn't ever pumped for the party. I guess I had one too many slippery nights in sweaty bars over the last two months. I had just downloaded "The Kingdom", a movie I've grown to love after repeat viewings, and that was more than enough to give me a solid Saturday night. But alas, visiting friends and casual soju under a perfect sky lured me to the dark side regardless of my mellow aspirations. I consented to do the 80's. But I had one problem: no costume.

My friends and I high tailed it over to a friends apt to "pregame" for the main event. Pregaming is something I almost always love doing, but I'm hardly in the dark about the consequences. (I'm going to take an aside here). Ideally, pregaming is meant to provide a cheap alternative to marked up drinks from the bar. That way, at least in theory, you can get a buzz on for cheap and still be on the same playing field as everyone else in the room. It's a sound theory, only it never works for me. I'm not a slowburner, nor have I ever been. I almost always walk out of a 'pregame' having isolated and tuned out the voice inside me that cautions against egregious spending on more drinks. Thus, the morning after brings pain not only to my head, but to my wallet as well. These are hard lessons I've learned after countless nights of unbridled joy, though usually coupled with sobering repercussions. Thankfully, this Saturday night was not one of those situations, and I left with both my wallet and my body generally in tact... I think.

So I arrived at the post game with no idea of how I would present myself at this soiree. Some people suggested I wear a basketball jersey, but seeing as how I had jeans on, and that Celtics jerseys are currently identicle to during the Reagan years, I decided to explore other avenues. That's when I remembered a brilliant costume a friend wore for Halloween '07: the goth! No, I'm not talking about a Hot Topic goth, I'm talking about a Robert Smith goth. I had always admired this look, and was eager to finally give it a shot. While the clothing would hardly be ornate or difficult, the costume absolutely dictated that I wear make up, and lots of it. I attacked this challenge with gusto. I kept telling the girls, 'More lipstick! More eye shadow! More face white stuff(?)! More hair spray! More! More!' I felt like a primadonna and I loved it.

The party went off without a hitch. Ulsan's expat population is unfortunately devoid of the type of person who might get my outfit, but on the other hand nobody judged. For me, it was just a fun excuse to run against the grain. While others danced and smiled, I sulked and grimmaced. I was having a blast. Eventually I loosened up and started dancing myself, and basically just joined the vibe.

Fast forward to the following evening and rubbing my face aggressively trying to wrest it from all the product. Everything came off easily, except for the eye shadow. Jesus! I've probably never wanted a girlfriend, a sister, or a transvestite more in my 23rd year. I don't know the secrets. I cleaned until I figured I was in a manageable place, and then crashed hard. I thought everything was ok until my co teacher asks me this morning why I'm wearing eye makeup. fml...

Morning Tunes 4/13

Artist: Drive-by Truckers
Song: The Day John Henry Died
Album: The Dirty South

* Note: I recently learned this song to play at an open mic, and in doing so I realized that it's an almost-perfect song. No word is superfluous. No syllable is overstuffed. It's songs like these that make me see my own as worthless refuse. Ok... keep plugging away.

I watched the rain; it settled in. We disappeared for days again.
Most of us were staying in, lazy like the sky.
The letters flew across the wire filtered through a million liars.
The whole world smelled like burning tires the day John Henry died.

We knew about that big machine that ran on human hope and steam.
Bets on John were far between and mostly on the side.
We heard he put up quite a fight. His hands and feet turned snowy white.
That hammer rang out through the night the day John Henry died.

When John Henry was a little bitty baby nobody ever taught him how to read
but he knew the perfect way to hold a hammer was the way the railroad baron held the deed.

It didn't matter if he won, if he lived, or if he'd run.
They changed the way his job was done. Labor costs were high.
That new machine was cheap as hell and only John would work as well,
so they left him laying where he fell the day John Henry died.

John Henry was a steel-driving bastard but John Henry was a bastard just the same.
An engine never thinks about his daddy and an engine never needs to write its name.

So pack your bags, we're headed west and L.A. ain't no place to rest.
You'll need some sleep to pass the test, so get some on the flight
and say your prayers John Henry Ford 'cause we don't need your work no more.
You should have known the final score the day John Henry died.

Morning Tunes 4/10

Artist: John Mayer
Song: Gravity
Album: Where the Light Is - Live in Los Angeles



*note - I have recently resigned myself to a simple fact: I am a John Mayer fan. The man clearly has an outrageous ego. Anybody on Twitter could tell you that much. He strikes me as arrogant, self-important, and brash. But I can no longer deny his talent. I am not above copping to the merits of a good pop song. I've written some songs, and writing something with a good hook and solid lyrics is close to impossible. John Mayer seems to do this with ease. And on top of that, I think he's a damn fine guitar player, and that, to me, is what sets him apart from other top 40 bland-dealers like Jason Mraz. If he falls short on the guitar it's because he tries too hard to be a bluesman. He has blues chops, sure, but I think his real skill is the ability to come up with a big, buttery, pop guitar lick. That's why I like him at least. Almost everything the man does is humm-able.

Simply put, I think there's something important about John Mayer. He plays music that tons of people love, but is also someone who, I believe, attempts to incorporate aspects of traditions that were never top 40. Furthermore, I think the combo of his popularity and his raw talent mean that he will be someone still producing quality music in 20 years. Today's music industry does not support artists with longevity. The industry will support whoever makes it the most money as quickly as possible, irrespective of where they will be in 2 years, let alone 5 or 10. In that sense, John Mayer is the last of a dying breed. He's a money maker who just happens to play solid, enduring music.

This video makes my point. Listen, if you hate it you hate it. His voice is kind of ridiculous, and clearly the dude will never be suave onstage. But I'll be damned if everything from 4:30 on doesn't kind of rock. Bring on the buttery licks!

In a naked way

I was a swimmer in high school, and I surely had many years of sharing locker rooms with team mates. Older men were always naked in the locker rooms, but never us. We liked to think that we were too cool for nudity, but the truth is that we were ashamed to be naked around each other. God forbid any rumors spread about people's fortitude, or more appropriately, lack thereof. I'm willing to bet this was a stigma Korean high school teams never dealt with.

Koreans are routinely nude in front of each other. Of course, this is only the case when they are amongst the same sex. Public bathing is huge here. It is actually considered a real compliment to be invited to a bath by a Korean. Many say this type of invitation is an unquestionably clear attempt at a friendship. This has certainly been the case in my experience. Regardless, the point is that it's a very Korean thing to be comfortably naked in a room of your peers.

I just recently joined a gym, and in doing so realized that I have finally overcome my male-nudity phobia. Korea and Korea alone are to thank for that. Don't get me wrong, Koreans are not a wild and crazy people. Bikinis are frowned upon here. Hardcore pornography is illegal to have and bring in to Korea. That said, nudity is an afterthought in the appropriate spaces. I find that to be both comforting and appropriate. AS a result, you will never see me make a 'deck change' in a locker room ever again. I guess I have officially joined the old creepy dudes. Can you handle that America?

Google Imagine

I made a typo in the last post and typed 'Google imagine' instead of 'Google image.' I fixed the error, but now I can't stop thinking about the idea of a Google Imagine. What would such a product do? I think it's really funny how Google and Google Image are nouns and verbs. We all love 'to Google stuff' and 'Google image' the names of our favorite celebrities/things (in my case, Matthew McConnaughey). What would it be 'to Google Imagine' something?

Celebrity

If you type 'celebrity' into google image, Sarah Silverman and Jennifer Love Hewitt are the first two actual people to come up. Really? Why not someone legit famous like Danny Bonaduce or Susan Powder?

Our seasons beat your seasons!

Koreans are obsessed with their seasons. They seem to think that Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter are not only special in Korea, but better than everywhere else. I was surprised the first time I read this, but sure enough, one of the first things a Korean ever told me was that her proud nation had 4 seasons. Do they not know Japan and China can boast the same thing? Do they know most of the expats living in Korea are from places that can boast the same thing? I think the truth is that they really don't care. Korea's seasons - like their baseball, food, and movies - are the best, and any word to the contrary is either wrong or uninformed. Oh, Korea.

Park Han Sol's morbid vision...

I had my first pre-school gym session today, and so my gear is here with me. A bright student observed my sneakers on the floor near my desk and commented...

"Your shoes look like dead people." - 박 한 설

The Grain in my Silo

There's not many things I miss more about America than her cereal. Korea has some good cereals, but I didn't grow up with them. I didn't have them for breakfast every morning, and sometimes at night when I wasn't tired and wanted a decent snack. They don't own a part of my soul. No, they're just with me in the interim, until I reunite with my old crew.

Paramount amongst said crew are Frosted Mini Wheats and Raisin Bran crunch. Mini Wheats are an old standby that many of my peers have had in their pantry for years. They're messy. You don't want to eat them in bed, unless you're very cautious. But make no mistake, they are the most beloved yin and yang in the cereal world.

Raisin Bran crunch is a new player on the scene. They're a rare example of a spin off that works. We all like the original Raisin Bran, but I always felt that, not only were the bran flakes a bit too loose, but the box never had enough raisins. Come on! They're raisins! It's not like I'm asking for more clovers and rainbows in my box of Lucky Charms. Raisins are good for you, and are essential color in a box otherwise filled with monotony. Raisin Bran crunch ended this problem, and then did one better. By adding 'granola'(?) clusters to the mix, Raisin Bran crunch transformed 'your dad's' cereal into a bold new experience, well suited to the ultraviolet tastes of generation Y. Simply put, Raisin Bran crunch is a staggering improvement on a time-tested favorite.

There's a myriad - a cornicopia - of tastes that I miss from back home. Burritos, grilled burgers, avocados, bacon, omelets, good cheese, good milk, bagels, a blt; I hope to consume all of these within a week after my return (and most likely add some gurth in the process). Though as I return to my regular western culinary schedule, most of these foods will become what they had been before: rare treats. This is hardly the case with cereal. I've always been a cereal boy. Maybe that's why I always felt a connection to Jerry Seinfeld. Either way, I love cereal very deeply, and you can be sure that I'll be smiling over my first bowl back home.

Morning Tunes 4/9

Artist: Los Campesinos
Song: Death to Los Campesinos
Album: Hold on Now, Youngster


p.s. - Thanks again, Jeff.

Morning Tunes 4/8

Artist: Pete Yorn
Song: Life on a Chain
Album: Musicforthemorningafter

Does this make me kind of weak?

I'll probably never dislike Incubus.

Rush Limbaugh: I know it's been said before...

The popularity of Rush Limbaugh says something very depressing about America. I actually wrote a whole piece about this, but I scrapped it in the end. I'll just let the man himself do the convincing for me.

"Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream."

To a black caller: "Take that bone out of your nose and call me back."

"There is no conclusive proof that nicotine’s addictive... And the same thing with cigarettes causing emphysema, lung cancer, heart disease."

"Screw the world. Do you really think we ought to govern ourselves based on what the world thinks of us?"

On torture at Abu Ghraib: "This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation. And we're going to ruin people's lives over it, and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people—you ever heard of emotional release? You ever heard of need to blow some steam off?"

Smack my b**** up.

Korean elementary school children hit each other at every opportunity. Do American kids do this? More importantly, do American schools allow that kind of thing to go down? I seem to recall hitting one another being a big deal. I remember getting pushed once, starting to cry, and having to attend the principals office with my assailant. All I did was get pushed. Korean kids are violently hitting each other in multiple-blow spurts.

Also, it's not just boys on boys. Actually, if there's hitting happening, it's probably a girl acosting a boy. Open hand, balled fist; it all flys here in full view of myself and other teachers. At first I was taken aback, but now I hardly even notice. In fact, I think it's kind of funny. I can't imagine how therapeutic it must be for US teachers to come here and lounge around as violent chaos ensues. I imagine teachers have to do a lot less 'emotional' work here than they do in the states.

Teachers here draw the line at disturbing the classroom process. It's ok to scream and flail in the hallway between classes, just as long as you don't expect to do so during class. Children who interrupt teaching time are dealt with swiftly. Obviously there are pluses and minuses to this approach. On one hand, you could say that allowing the kids this freedom will help them to naturally discover themselves and the way social interactions work out. On the other hand, elementary age children are terribly mean to each other, and sometimes you need a supervisor to intervene, regardless of whether it's class time or not.

There's one girl in the 5th grade who is overweight and gets teased mercilessly. I've always observed the Koreans are up front about physical observations, but this crosses the line. I routinely hear this girl being referred to as pig. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard another student call her by her given name. This bothers me immensely. There's one boy who is particularly bad, and I want so badly to bring him outside and scream at him. But there are three problems with that scenario.

1. He wouldn't understand me
2. She might be embarrassed
3. My co teacher would probably see it as totally unnecessary.

I badly want my co teacher to discipline him. I'm even considering raising it with her in private. My feeling is that in a touchy-feely place like the US, this poor girl would've gone home, told her parents, and there would have been a meladramatic parent-teacher meeting. While I've always been wary of over-reactionary American parents, this girl needs just that. She needs a socially acceptable intervening force. I wish it could be me, but I don't know how.

I'm all for self-policing. I always liked when my mother told my sister and I, "You two figure it out yourselves!" Even at a young age, I remember admiring that type of laissez faire attitude towards parenting. That said, sometimes that meant I would end up being too mean to my dear sister. I bet she wished that my mom had stayed in. But when do you play, and when do you sit it out?

Morning Tunes 4/7

Artist: Phish
Song: heady 'Mike's groove'
Album: Live at the Centrum 11/27/98

Morning Tunes 4/3

Artist: Phish
Song: Back on the Train
Album: 6/14/00 Drum Logos Fukuoka, Japan

Morning Tunes 4/2

Artist: Jason Isbell
Song: However Long
Album: Seven Mile Island