Hyundai Propaganda

A lifting off...

2009-09-21T16:43:00.001-07:00

Hello to anyone and all that read/have read this blog. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed managing this thing. Not only has it let me feel in touch, but it has provided with a goal - albeit humble - throughout the whirlwind that was my year in Korea. But, as that year has come to a close, so too will this blog.

Though fear not! The internet is not rid of me yet! I have started a new site dedicated to all things post-Korea and pre-whateverthefuckiwilldonext. It exists, but I've yet to really get it cracking. I decided to switch over to the uber-hipsters at wordpress, and all their minutae has impeded these early stages. But I assure you; once I master their system, you will be inundated with over-important, under-thought ramblings about my life and all it entails.

In closing, thanks so much for reading. Knowing that any of you took time to stay with me was one of the great joys of my Asian experience. I'll miss this site enormously.

If you are still interested in my happenings, feel free to check out Roktova.wordpress.com

Anyeongigyeseyo!

Great Lake Swimmers - When it Flows

2009-08-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is another now
Waiting to happen...

- GLS

The Mountain Goats - International Small Arms Traffic Blues

2009-08-25T23:55:00.001-07:00

I recently saw a friend tweet (I'm assuming you're aware of Twitter.com) about a band called The Mountain Goats, and I became curious. To be honest, I'm not above being interested in a band because their name conjures up cool images. But beyond that embarrassing aspect, I remembered quickly reading something about them being folk-y and minimalist - two scenes that will always earn a listen from me. Thanks to the casually illegal nature of internet music trading, I was able to grab one of their albums not 5 minutes later. It's folk-y and minimalist and everything I dig about the far flung progeny of Elliot Smith. Moreover it has one of the coolest allegorical songs I've ever heard. Here's a snippet...

Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
Trucks loaded down with weapons
Crossing over every night
Moon yellow and bright
There is a shortage in the blood supply
But there is no shortage of blood
The way I feel about you baby can't explain it
You got the best of my love

check out the full tune in all its glory at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_0nROFZDvQ&feature=related

Lion's Final Roar

2009-08-25T23:11:00.001-07:00

Today America has lost one of its last true statesman. Ted Kennedy is no longer, but I hope that he may rest with the knowledge that so many of his dreams - racial equality, health care reform, a spirit of compromise - are perhaps more alive now than ever. His achievements will be studied for years to come, and I have no doubt that my children, though totally unaware of him, will live in a world that he bettered for them.

Booya!

2009-08-04T21:02:00.001-07:00

-cnn.com

Booty anda Best

2009-08-04T01:10:00.001-07:00

For each week of the camp we all must monitor a group project. The first week had us charting dance moves and drilling lyrics for a 'song contest' held last Sunday for parents and various Korea suits. This week we are supposed to conduct some sort of role play, which has manifested itself as the kids recreating scenes from various Disney classics.

My group stumbled upon Beauty and the Beast. It's probably no better or worse than anything else they could have been assigned. I work with the lowest level students, so their comprehension of these stories is essentially nil. That said, the show must go on, and so they are still forced to script read and drill scenes. Last night my Korean co teacher sequestered the girls in a sort of tryout for the Belle character, and I was left to run a 4-page section with the boys. What ensued in this dudes' session was easily the most hilarious thing I've been a part of at camp.

Now, don't take this as me knocking these kids because they couldn't comprehend the scene. That's hardly the case. Most of them actually did grasp the arc of things. What got me going was how they suddenly broke out of their shell and gave Beauty everything they had. The narrarrator adopted a faux deep voice, the Prince/Beast was rife with passion, Belle (as played by an 11 year old boy) exhibited moments of real anguish. As funny as this whole thing was, I'd say it was equally fascinating. I was witnessing boys teetering on the precipice of all-consuming self-consciousness (teenagerdom). The equation was simply perfect. Any older and they would not have attacked such an effeminate piece with such gusto, for fear of seeming uncool. I don't know. Maybe it's not worth all this thought.

As frustrating as this camp can be/is, moments like that remind me that I'm right where I need to be.

Sun Kil Moon (Mark Kozelek) - Lost Verses

2009-08-03T02:36:00.000-07:00

Absolutely brilliant. Exceedingly beautiful.

The Things That Haunt my Dreams

2009-08-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

Camp Rundown

2009-08-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

I'm halfway done with this monster! Here's a list of some highlights and pitfalls...

- (during a "If you're happy and you know it..." activity) "If you're tired and you know it crazy..."

- Being told 5 minutes prior that we had to teach until 9pm when we had been told all day that we would only teach from 7:30 - 8. Why? Because the visiting parents were angry their kids would only be in class for 30 minutes that day - the one day when they weren't in class for 10 solid hours.

- Seeing the sun come up from the roof of our dorm complex (shhh...)

- Completely lucking into a single room.

- Being told by an 11 year old girl that she likes beer (pitfall)...

- Being told I look bad/tired after a marvelous 8 hours of sleep (pitfall)...

- (Upon entering a freshly smoked-in room) "Teacher, this is [like] my house!"

- Playing duck, duck, goose and watching a girl idly stand there smiling once picked. At first you think she doesn't know how to play, though there's no way she couldn't, and it soon becomes clear that she simply doesn't want to. Only, instead of complaining, she just stands there smiling as if she just pulled a prank on you. (Maybe you had to be there...)

- (the captions of a student drawing depicting the final scene of The Three Pigs) "Hahaha. Silly wolf!"

- For whatever reason, when I turn on my ipod, the only thing that seems to make sense is Van Halen's "Dance the Night Away".

- As much as my arm hair had baffled students before, nothing has reached the hysteria it has caused out here. There's not a single class period that goes by without a solid shucking of my arm.

- Drinking beers in our temporary dorm homes has caused collegiate nostalgia like never before.

- Playing a spirited rendition of Paul Simon's "Me and Julio Down the Schoolyard" for 250+ captive Korean parents.

- Staring in awe as one of my Korean co-teachers, who insisted he was not very good at guitar, casually ripped through 30 minutes of flawless 4-finger picked classical pieces.

The bees!

2009-07-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Huh?

2009-07-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

Dave Carnie, a true American.

Owl Moon

2009-07-29T03:13:00.000-07:00

Being constantly surrounded by elementary-age kids has got me reminiscing about my own youth. In doing so, I've realized that I miss the hell out of this book.

Jonsi and Alex - Riceboy Sleeps

2009-07-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

So lately I can't stop listening to music that sounds the way a beautiful dream feels. Naturally, one would assume I would drift towards Sigur Ros. But, I feel as if I've been there, and it's important to me that I find out if anyone can do it better. While I have made some valuable discoveries in this field (most notably Grouper) my new favorite dream-pop disc still falls within the Sigur Ros stable.

Riceboy Sleeps is the product of Sigur Ros frontman Jonsi Birgisson and his artistic/romantic collaborator Alex Somers. The Ros-ian vibe is almost immediately apparent, and while many will say this is nothing more than a watered-down b-sides cut, I would have to disagree. To me, Riceboy feels like most other breakaway solo works by popular frontmen: somewhat derivative of the original, but not in a way that detracts from the accomplishment at hand (see: A Perfect Circle, David Byrne, Trey Anastasio, Dave Matthews).

This album would be nature's soundtrack during the hatching of a butterfly, if such a soundtrack existed.

Somehow, no matter how loud you play it, Jonsi and Alex's music never impedes the processes of thought or introspection. On the contrary, I would argue it enhances both.

Do yourself a favor; get this album, get some good headphones, and find some time and space to employ one through the other.

Jonsi and Alex - keeping this blog introspective and socially relevant... (God, I love sweaters.)

Those final agonizing breaths...

2009-07-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

The end is nigh! I've been saying it for months, but now reality supports the statement. I just finished my first day of summer camp - the only thing that stands between me and 5 weeks of unbridled freedom (Vietnam > Jeju Island > Ulsan finale > Incheon > Washington DC > Woodstock, NY > Boston > VT!!!!! > Mass [Boston? Cape Cod?] > Washington DC). Oh to be young, responsibility-free, and able to pseudo-support yourself!

Knowing that such things lay ahead, in the NEAR future, is truly a heady feeling (Webster's version). That said, completing this gig will not be easy by any stretch of the word. For the next 14 days I will teach approximately 10 classes/day between the hours of 9am and 8:20pm. Moreover, this is not a situation from which I can return home at the end of the day. This camp has sequestered all 30-or-so of us out in Youngsan, Korea - exactly 30 minutes from the nearest anything. And while I'm humbled by saying this, thank god we at least have Internet in our dorm rooms. The inability to mindlessly absorb obscure nothings for a few hours each night might have seriously affected me (though maybe for the better).

Last night was rough. I cowered in my bed just dreading the fact that falling asleep meant waking to the reality of this camp experience. As always, that was a totally irrational reaction. The camp is not so bad. In fact, by a stroke of sheer luck I somehow stumbled into having my own room. I can't tell you how pumped I am about that. I need my space, and the more of it I can have the better.

That luck worked in my favor is both beautiful and completely unusual. Past experiences normally have me getting laughed at for my god awful bad luck. And just so you know, had I not pulled off a little side-dealing, I would have been stuck in a room with a socially awkward, middle-aged, deeply religious, and irrepressibly irritating dude named Joe. All I wanted was to not be HIS roommate, and I ended up somehow being my own.
Though as my father said, I should probably get prepared for some sort of late-arrival to rain on my parade. And if that does go down, you can rest assured that he will have either a) a flatulence issue b) a masturbation issue c) a snoring issue or d) all of the above. If my history is any indication, I best begin preparing his bedding now...

Metallica - Death Magnetic

2009-07-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

After a few solid weeks of straight Phish and dense indie rock I needed something... a wild card. I had let several months of cyber dust gather on Metallica's latest, so it seemed right to let it be the album to jerk me from noodly hipsterville. Great call. Death Magnetic is nearly perfect. Give this album a spin if you ever feel the inclination. My bet is that you find it worthwhile.

Key track: All Nightmare Long

Yes, I just whole heartedly repped a Metallica album. So what?

Naked City - Speedfreaks

2009-07-21T03:13:00.000-07:00

Equal parts pure hipster, ruthlessly inaccessible, and hardcore genius.

Can You Feel It?

2009-07-21T02:26:00.000-07:00

The hot, sultry days of summer have most certainly reached Ulsan, South Korea. Summer brings about many things - pummeling rainstorms, longer days, melting ice cream - but none less innocent than the wandering eyes it provokes. Everyone is looking to score. Let's face it: everyone's been prepping their bodies, everyone's used the winter as a prep/rest up period, and summer means game time. This is true for people in most places, but doesn't seem to be the case in Ulsan, at least not as I've seen with many of the Koreans out and about. However, if summer has done anything to this little industrial hamlet, it has unquestionably stirred up the loins of Ulsan's resident Dragonflies.

I'm not kidding when I say that the skies are filled with the horniest dragon flies I've ever seen. They're everywhere, and they're doing everything and anything to make it happen. I've never seen so many of these things in my life, and while at first I was alarmed by their presence, I'm now kind of pumped to have them around. After all, their intentions are probably not that different than mine or some of my more libidinous friends... well, except we're not trying to procreate, so to say.

To give you an idea of their scene, I ran by an ordinary tree today, and I'm dead serious when I say the whole thing was abuzz with the sound of dragonfly love. If you magically transformed that tree into a trailer filled with humans doing what those flys were doing... whoa! It would have been Calligula-esque. I was so taken aback by the sound of their love making chirps, that I literally said out loud, "Oh man! That's so intense!" I kid you not (and I think I got stares as a result). Listen, I'm not an idiot. Clearly, like secadas and other insects, this is the traditional mating season for Korean Dragon Flys. I just can't help but see the parallels between their aims and those of so many of my friends. None of us are as aggressive as these winged studs, but I think there's a shared value... whether they know it or not.

Bibimbap and me.

2009-07-20T23:04:00.000-07:00

As far as I'm concerned, there are few lunch options more perfect than bibimbap. It is a dead-on example of why I'm going to miss Korean food so much: it's healthy, but not aggressively so. There's literally nothing unhealthy in a bowl of bibimbap, but you wouldn't know that from the taste. So often I meet people who feel that they must forego flavor to put good things in their body. Perhaps that's America's problem, because Koreans have a litany of healthy foods at their disposal, and almost all of it f***ing rocks! And this coming from the guy who existed on a diet of pizza, sandwiches, and cereal for the better part of his life. I mean, how cool is it that I'm totally full and satisfied from a serving of rice, veggies, and a fried egg (the least healthy guy at the party)?! The simple beauty of this dish is unassailable. I'll never knock a blt, but come on...

Oh yea, the cost of this delicacy? Somewhere in the ballpark of $2.

Grouper - Dragging a Dead Deer Up a Hill

2009-07-20T03:10:00.001-07:00

I just spent the last 45 minutes listening to this album, and it was perfect. I'm not saying the album itself was perfect - in actuality it's no better or worse than any of the other airy, blissed-out, dreamscape pop I've heard - but it's role in that 45 minutes was, in fact, perfect. It didn't ask too much of me. It required nothing beyond a mellow disposition, low lighting, a content stomach, and magnificent headphones. Simply put, I'm overjoyed that Grouper and I could meet at that junction in time. I believe it was mutually beneficial.

...

- Though in reality a Grouper has nothing to do with the artist I discuss above, I want to let it be known that I'm pretty pumped about the fish as well. RIP. (How much fun is this guy having?!)

Blissful Repetition

2009-07-16T19:48:00.001-07:00

I've now listened to this song 10+ times in a row.
Ryan Adams - Oh my god whatever, etc.

A Great Baseball Tune

2009-07-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

The water's wide
It's deep and wide
It's down a long and windy road
And everyone knows that a boy can't swim it

In Narrow's Church
The white walled church
They're singing that gospel song
"Bye and Bye, I will see my King"
The clouds will break
And the pews shake
And the choir softly cries
And it's Georgia in the spring of 1905

Ty Cobb
You're dead and gone
You had a game like a war machine
And through the great
Hall of Fame you wander
In Tigers Field
A girl in heels

She had a face like a magazine
And through the long metal stands she wandered

The ball soared
The crowd roared
The scoreboard sweetly hummed
And tomorrow you'll surely know whose won

I'm on First
And you're on Third
And all the wolves are all between
And everyone's sure that the game is over

The catcher's hard
He's mean mean and hard
And he nips at the batter's heels
And everyone's sure that the game is over

The ball soars
And the crowd roars
And the scoreboard sweetly hums
And tomorrow you'll surely know whose won

The water's wide
It's deep and wide
It's a down a long and windy road
And everyone knows that a boy can't swim it

The clouds break
And the pews shake
And the preacher's feet do pound
As the rain beats the streets of Cooperstown

- The Felice Brothers: Cooperstown

If R.E.M. or the 80's had more balls...

2009-07-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

Husker Du - Divide and Conquer

A Change Is gonna... who's making galbi?

2009-07-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

I often ponder the change that will come in Korea when the next generation rise to adulthood. Currently - what with Korea's rigid elder-idolization - the word of the old folks is cast iron in Korean society. 30-40 year olds do not have prevailing say here. This country is more or less run by people - mostly men - in their 60's and 70's. These people have no tolerance for certain things. From what I've seen, here are some things that most elderly Koreans cannot tolerate, whether they be a farmer or the president:

- Women smoking in public
- Foreigners speaking on public transportation
- A female waiting until her mid-30's to wed
- Japan, or the admiration thereof
- A wife who does not become a surrogate mother to her husband
- Seeing a foreign man and a Korean (read: Asian) woman that are seemingly a couple
- Anything that deviates from the norm
- Being told that they're wrong, or to stop...

There are no doubt other, less apparent, aspects of life that elderly Koreans cannot handle, but these are the major examples I've witnessed. I believe the expectations of these people are significant only because they are on the decline.

It is my belief that as the old guard dies out, so too will their beliefs. This is hardly a revolutionary idea. Obviously all cultures change as younger generations come to power. But few countries I've ever visited or read about are in a position to have as big an overhaul as I believe Korea will. Young Koreans are a people who grew up in a vastly different world than their parents. They know almost nothing of war, they know almost nothing of agricultural labor, they are actively learning English at a furious clip, and they are fully engaged in the process of globalization. In short, the vast majority of young Koreans are progressive in a way that their parents couldn't even process. They [the youth] probably know this, and thus, their parents don't actually get to see how progressive they actually are. It's all hidden from them.

The generation gap in Korea is astounding. Make no mistake about it, regardless of what happens with its northern brethren, Korea will be a country transformed by 2030. I know that sounds like a ways away, but I guarantee you nobody my age ever realized how quickly we'd be knocking on the doorstep of 2010. Christ, that date still sounds like a futuristic, unimaginable age to me.
This is not to say that Korea will become America lite - it won't (that's solely a role reserved for Canada... just kidding, eh). Koreans will never forego a Kimchi diet in favor of one weighed down with burgers and fries. Just in the same way that Koreans will never totally think it's okay to, say, get married twice before they die. These are both western past times, and I believe they will always be so. The change in Korea will seem minor to us Westerners, and will probably go unnoticed. It will most likely be a mass sense that there's no longer a need to hide. For example, interracial couples will not be too intimidated to hold hands. Female smokers will not feel confined to lavatories. Unhappy couples will not dread the social stigma of a divorce (only one divorce). And maybe, just maybe, a few gay Koreans will not feel trapped within special neighborhoods in Seoul - though that's a topic for a whole other discussion.

Korea will progress with the new generation, because Koreans are generally kind hearted people who want others to feel happy. Just like kimchi and soju, the sense of a shared identity will never fully leave Korea. People here want all Koreans to feel joy, not just some of them. So when the open minds of the younger generation take the reigns, I think you will see those minds expand the scope of what is acceptable here. Though, in my opinion, the future doesn't bring a better Korea or a worse Korea; it simply brings the new Korea.

Prediction

2009-07-14T17:11:00.001-07:00

Sufjan Stevens will be to our children's indie music what Television and Gang of Four were to ours. Thoughts?

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 13

2009-07-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

There was no better waste of an hour than VH1's Behind the Music. Times were simple. Life was good.

Sidenote*
While almost all of the BHTM stories were rife with classic characters, there are some moments that vividly stand out in my mind. Thus, we have my short list of BHTM AllStars...

1. Poison's Bobby Dall - For conveying absolute zero sense that he's potentially speaking to millions of people. "He got to f*** the ultimate b****! I don't see what's so wrong with that." - while discussing lead singer Brett Michael's leaked sex tape with a pre-Tommy Lee Pam Anderson.

2. Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx - For his truly patriotic endurance and awareness of limits. "We used to bring our dealers along on tours, and we would do these things called 'power rails' before shows. These were essentially lines of coke that were 2inches x 6 feet long."

3. Cat Stevens - For the most non-secuitur life-changing religious revelation. "I went swimming at my friend's house in Malibu, and there was a terrible riptide. I was out in the ocean for maybe 1 hour. When I came out, I knew that I had to be a Muslim."

'Look at all the white men on the street...'

2009-07-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

You wanna get down? Que up this war horse at any of middle ager's cocktail party, Slipknot concert, methadone clinic, or awkward hipster party... especially the last 40 seconds.

Seeds of Disapproval

2009-07-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

I'm a spry 23 years of age, and there's still a lot that's great about that. I can say I'm closer to 20 than 30, people don't expect as much from as they will in 2 years, and I can still sort of get away with cheeky, boyish things. There's no limit to how pumped I am about all that.

However, it's undeniable that my body is not what it was even 2 years ago. The unforgiving tenets of age are just now beginning to make themselves clear to me, and I really want to punch them in the face.

Let me first say that this is not a post about weight. I put on a bunch of weight in college, but that had absolutely nothing to do with the aging process. High school dictated that I work out a pace that I assumed was normal, but I now consider to be almost unattainable. Think about it; in high school we all must get a solid 90-120 min of excercise Mon-Fri for most of the year. It's not a body image thing, it's just the daily routine of high school sports. Right? All this stops in college. And it happens to stop at the same time you realize that daily boozing, eating, and general lazing about are totally acceptable activities. Thus, you're gaining weight. I get that, and I totally accept it. But Korea's eating habits have more or less gotten me to a place where I'm eating healthier than I have in a long time. So the diet is there, and the exercise will be there just as soon as my teaching obligations lessen. Right. I'm not worried about that.

What I'm really talking about are the biological processes that would be happening regardless of physical fitness. These, to me, are the true signs that I've begun a long, slow (I know I've still got 25 years), decline to middle age.

All of sudden mysterious joints hurt. For the record, I had no idea that such things existed two years ago, and I was heavier then! All of a sudden I have to choose work out activities based on what specific part of my body is the least sore. It's pathetic to think about.

Though no facet of aging is more apparent to me than gratuitous hair growth. Now, some men don't have this problem. There are those dudes out there who are just biologically entitled to a relatively hairless existence. I used to have absolutely no envy for these guys. I did - and still do - consider my body hair to be an exciting part of my physical existence. Chest hair is fun, facial hair is fun... right? Well, yes and no. Like most things that occur in nature, anything can be good, but it is usually only so in moderation. For example, some seasonal rain is helpful to almost everything it covers. But too much rain can cause damaging floods. I feel the same way about my body hair. For the most part it is an aesthetically pleasing and balancing part of my being. But, now that age has taken hold, I'm finding hair in places that are hardly aesthetically pleasing or balancing.

The purpose of body hair is to provide cover/protection for what it covers. So why would the body grow hair on the back? Really, what could it possibly protect on my back? Could it shield me from a blow to the kidneys? No. Could fend off sneak attacks from ravenous animals? No. Could it do any good in preventing sunburn? No. So why is it there? It's there because nature's ability to balance itself hardly ever works. If it did, why would we have invasive plant species, floods, or humans, for that matter. Anything good that nature has ever given us usually ends up spilling just a bit out of the glass. Now, it's easy to clean up most of the time, but still, what a nuisance.

7 Weeks

2009-07-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

So I'll be back in Yankeeland in 7 weeks. Whoa. I guess I'd like to say it feels like yesterday that I arrived here - it kind of does - but in many ways I absolutely feel like I've been gone for 45 weeks. To take a page from D. Hazlett, I'd like to list the things I'm super pumped to have around me September 1.

I'll Be Here

2009-07-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'll be somewhere in this madness on September 5th, 2009.

... yes that is Billy Bob Thornton.

Koreans work harder than you pt. 4

2009-07-07T20:18:00.001-07:00

The Korean version of the SAT is the craziest academic feat I've ever heard of. It's called the Soo Neun, and it IS the lives of all Koreans in the final year of high school. The soo neun is 8 hours long, and tests English, 'social studies', and absolutely everything in between.

This test is the make or break between a Korean who is professionally successful, mediocre, or stalled (assuming everything beyond the test goes well). Korea is not a place where you can drop out of high school, start your own business, and find success in your mid 20's - as several of my friends have done. The rigidity of the professional structure, and the overwhelming power of large conglomerates pretty much makes that option an impossibility.

And so the soo neun is life or death. How do students prepare for this most-olympian of exams? They study... A LOT! They study more than I've ever even imagined. As a high school senior in Korea, you are required to be at school from 9pm to 10pm. Period. No choice. Sports, extracurriculars, after school ice cream with friends... not an option. Plus, you must take a practice soo neun every weekend FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR leading up to the test.

"These poor kids. They must be in the peak of misery throughout this whole ordeal." That's what I thought when I first heard of the exam. Though, I later discovered that's hardly the case. I asked a group of young, female teachers about the test one night at a school dinner, and they had fond memories to share. Most of what they recalled were stories about spending a lot of time with their friends, away from their parents (which is a huge deal in Korea), all engaged in the same activity. It seemed as if their sense of solidarity trumped any realizations of how intense their task was.

A week later I was walking home late at night, when I spotted a large group of students walking my way. I soon saw that they were just part of a larger group leaving their school. I looked at my watch: 10pm. So I asked a group of boys, "are you leaving school?"

"Yes."
"Soo neun?" I asked.
"Ah ha ha, yes. Big test. Very deepeecurt."

But here's the catch: everyone seemed to be having a good time. Nobody looked like a zombie. I saw smiles, couples holding hands, girls giggling in groups, soccer balls careening to and fro, and boys playing grab ass in just the way I would have at that age. I was shocked. It made me recall my countenance after the SAT prep courses of yore... it was certainly nothing like theirs. I'm pretty sure the only thing on my mind was a massive sandwich and internet porn.

A Day on the Banks of... what river is this?

2009-07-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

For me, rivers are IT when it comes to summer afternoons. Pools, lakes, even the ocean - I'd take a river over any of them on a listless July day. Rivers just seem that much more rustic and untouched, and that's appealing to me. You'll be hard pressed to find disgusting popsicle stands, kiddie railroads, and sandy asscracks on the banks of any good river. I guess, on the one hand, that's because they're inherently more dangerous than most other water features. But, on the other hand, to those who enjoy their environs, the danger partially makes the experience. It's not blatant danger, but it's present enough to make a full day by the river seem THAT much more exhilarating.

I suppose another part of my river jones has to do with my love of hiking, and the sense of discovery that comes with it. You'll never have to hike to a pool, lake, or ocean, whereas you'll often have to do at least a bit of trekking to find the 'good' spot along a river. This act of walking away from society is a huge part of my river-love. I don't care if the hike from the road to the spot is only 10 minutes. Quite frankly, it often is. Just the simple act of creating distance between myself and the 'front country' is intoxicating. For me, there the hike creates the illusion that I've discovered something special (regardless if there are 40 other people there). It also creates a sense of privacy - like myself and all the other revelers are in some way removed from the confines of society. How that manifests itself... well, you'll just have to come to a river with me someday.

For the most part, river outings in America are minimalist affairs. We'll bring a backpack, some beverages, a towel, and maybe some trail mix or a sandwich. Anything else would be overkill. I should have assumed that Koreans take the complete opposite approach. Three weeks ago I found myself on the banks of a GORGEOUS little river, with enough gear to feed and put up a family for an entire weekend. We had a tent, a miniature gas barbecue, a glut of meat, kimchi, lettuce, various sauces, beers, changes of clothes, and obviously large coolers for all of this. While I still felt as if I had discovered something - via my generous Korean guides/friends - that I had done so with a moving cornucopia seemed like slight overkill. Then again, if I'm not getting out of my comfort zone in Korea, what the hell am I doing here?

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 12

2009-06-26T00:53:00.000-07:00

Times were simple. Life was good.

Humble Observations

2009-06-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

- It has rained many times since I've been in Korea, but only this morning did I hear thunder.
- Koreans seem to believe that with rain must come umbrellas. Rain jackets are basically only for hiking or a secondary line of defense.
- Korean baseball games are much more fun than their yankee counterpart.
- There is no such thing as understated Korean music. It's all tears or bombast.
- The notion of not owning a cell phone, or not using yours constantly is completely alien to most Koreans.
- Most Koreans will have a cell phone from the time they turn ~ 7 years old.
- Many Korean married couples don't wear their wedding rings.
- Nobody wears black better than Korean women.

Xander Berkeley

2009-06-21T05:32:00.001-07:00

This guy will always sketch me out. I absolutely blame the movie Poison Ivy II for this.

The Diminutive, Hennesy-loving Elephant in the Room

2009-06-21T04:07:00.000-07:00

(the title of this pic says it all: North Korea is Dark.)

One of the strangest parts of living in South Korea is having to share a border the world's most belligerent and mysterious state: North Korea. I am reminded of this fact almost weekly, though not by anything I see or experience here. Most of my North Korea thoughts emerge because of my American friends and their curiosities/concerns, most of which sound something like this: 'Are you worried?' 'Are Koreans worried?' 'Do you feel safe?' I'm not surprised by these questions. More than anything else, they serve as valid reminders of how irrepressibly doom and gloom American newscasts are. The truth is, it could be really bad. North Korea is without a doubt one of the most unstable and downright scary places on the planet. That they have been in a 50-year cold war with my current home-country should be much more frightening than it is. But here's the deal: the concerns of my American friends remind me of these things, and without them, I probably wouldn't give the north much thought. Surprising?

Most Koreans are not worried about North Korea in the slightest. My co-teacher once told me that many Koreans - herself included - see Kim Jong Il's rocket play as nothing more than malevolent chest thumping - actually, the word she used was "hobby." In practice, North Korea only effects the south in a few very basic ways, none of which are particularly scary. First, all Korean men must begin a term of military service between the ages of 18-25. But these terms are usually just pesky recesses from life, in which the young men perform mindless work (one friend of mine told me he cut down trees for most of his tour) in rural parts of the country, and apparently all have an awkward experience with a hooker. Second, Korea* is essentially made into an island since there are no available land routes connecting to the rest of the Asian continent. Though all that means is Koreans have to fly more, and they do so easily out of Incheon airport, which I can resolutely say is the best airport I've ever been in. Save for the monthly "Invasion Preparedness Drill" - which actually are pretty surreal - the presence of North Korea does very little to effect the daily goings on in the south.

My feelings on this casual attitude are mixed. On one hand, I'm glad to be part of a society that's not living in a state of fear and constantly prepping itself for a war. In fact, and I see the absurd irony in this, I was much more afraid while living in the United States. I know that Koreans see America as a much more dangerous place, and they're exactly right - despite who their northern neighbor is. But I digress. Ok, on the other hand, IF - and this is a big if - but if North Korea becomes violent with the south, I can easily scamper on back to the USA. Koreans can't leave. They are 'in the fight' so to speak whether they like it or not. As a result, I feel it's perhaps a little foolhardy to be as relaxed as they collectively are. Then again, how do you go about creating a viable, thriving country when all you can do is prepare yourself for imminent doom? I think the answer is that you can't have it both ways. You either move on with the business of self-improvement or you muster the troops. Korea has clearly chosen the former, and I think the country is better off for it in the long run.

Like my American friends, Koreans also inquire about my feelings towards North Korea. They often want to know if I feel scared, and I quickly tell them that I don't. So then I ask them how they feel about the north, and while their answers are mixed in many ways, one thing is constant: South Koreans are deeply troubled by the divide, but not afraid of it. They want to be united. The idea of family connection between all Koreans is very real to people here. Essentially, the fact that so many Koreans share family names - Lee, Park, Kim, Cho - is indicative of a general feeling of connectedness. North Koreans and South Koreans are all part of the same ethnic group, and people here are tragically aware of that. I think that it genuinely pains a lot of people here that they cannot share Korea's newly-found wealth and stability with their northern brethren. There is not a hatred of North Koreans by any means - more a frustration with, and anger towards their leader and his cadre. Hearing Koreans talk about their desire for unification is something that I find tremendously touching, and it reminds me of just how momentous it will be when the border patrolmen do finally holster their arms. I can't tell you how proud I will be if I can take my children to a united Korean peninsula. The kimchi will never have tasted better.

*I've started using South Korean and Korean interchangeably. I mean, how many North Koreans do you know?

Jujeon Taxi Service

2009-06-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

My friend Sam - aka Kuntz Machine, aka the Machine, aka Machine - and I have made a habit of having dinner every Monday. We have both committed ourselves to hectic teaching schedules this semester, and Mondays are one of the few days where we can actually punch out at 5pm. Usually we'll just sample tried and true Korean barbecuse in our neighborhoods, but last Monday was different. Sam decided it would be good if we went out to the Jujeon seashore and drop some pseudo-heavy coin on raw fish. I obliged, and off we went.

My raw fish experiences in Korea have been hit or miss at best. I've quietly convinced myself that Korea's anti-Japanese sentiment has relieved them of any responsibility to prepare good sushi. It's almost as if they find it patriotic to butcher such a delectable treat. Don't get me wrong; Koreans can cook like the best of them. The food might end up being my favorite thing about this place, but westerners don't do fish on the bone - which is the de facto fish serving in Korea. We yankees have been weened on the Japanese tradition, which is most certainly not thriving in the RoK. So you can see why I had serious doubts about the veracity of Sam's claims that his chosen restaurant was 'otherworldly.'

Surely enough, Sam came through. The fish blew me away. You could immediately tell that nothing in our meal had ever seen the inside of a freezer - a feeling I've pretty much never had in Korea. It was, without a doubt, the best fish I've had here. And the best part? The restaurant itself was about as sparse as any I've ever been in. Sam and I had the whole place - basically the owners' two-story house - to ourselves. I always feel somewhat circumspect of restaurants whose food and aesthetic seem equally labored over. Shouldn't the main attraction be on your plate? I didn't need muted lighting and expensive wall paper to speak to the quality of this joint. If only more American restaurants would take note. The game is in the food, not the distractions!

I don't want to say that we had a trek back to our houses, but Jujeon is a sleepy community that is noticeably different in look and feel from our urban environs. To say the least, cabs are not easily gotten, and buses almost impossible. We hadn't considered this, but just as we began to discuss our options, the owner's wife flashed her car keys at us. We looked at each other. "Is she driving us home?" And just as quickly we found ourselves in her backseat, being whisked over the mountain that separated her 'hood from ours. In effect, she closed down her restaurant to do this for us. Would that ever happen in the US? I think you all know the answer. It was a magical experience.

Roo-minations

2009-06-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. Bonnaroo '09 is in full swing, and I couldn't be farther from it. And what a year to miss! I basically have to go 1/4 down the line up to find the first band I wouldn't be pumped about seeing. So what will I do to celebrate the weekend? Well, besides playing a little frisbee under today's perfect Korean sun, I'm going to indulge in some nostalgia. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are some snapshots from my own Bonnaroo ('06) experience. Three years have passed, but the images are no less vivid. In fact, they will probably be seared into my mind for longer than I care to think about. Enjoy your weekends. Hopefully there's room in there for a little good music.

Pleasant Surprise

2009-06-10T04:24:00.000-07:00

I've always been aware of Larry King, but I suppose I seemed to think of him as sort of a joke. He was certainly always portrayed as such when I would read about him. From his heap of ex-wives, to the nearly 60 year gap between him and his youngest children - King just seemed somewhat too ridiculous to take seriously. He is a fossil, no doubt about it. But, I don't think he would deny that, and just recently I've come to believe that his antiquity is kind of what makes him awesome. That's right... I think Larry King is awesome.

Why? Because he just might be the last truly classic interviewer of our time. Sure, there are tons of people out there who can conduct a riveting interview, but none - at least in my opinion - do it with the panache of a Larry King. He was schooled in the world radio when radio wasn't a poor man's TV. Radio was IT. Being on radio was the ballgame, and making it meant you had genuine talent as an entertainer. King may look eerily frog-like, but his talent is undeniable. And the stupefying longevity of his career is a testament to that.

Just watch the video above and tell me you don't feel the charm just ooze out of him. The man is probably one of the most gifted story tellers I've ever heard. His are like your grandfather's greatest stories, only he's just beginning. Do yourself a favor and commit 15 min to the video. I would love to know what you think.

... eh hey.

2009-06-10T04:05:00.000-07:00

Tell me the resemblance isn't uncanny.

Have a good weekend!

2009-06-05T01:21:00.001-07:00

So because all I can think about is this Levon Helm show, I figured I might as well throw out this video before I descend into another weekend. This is actually the last song the fully united band ever played together.

I'm on the list.

2009-06-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

In 2002, I discovered The Last Waltz. It changed my life. The Band's music was instantly recognizable, but mystic and somewhat impenetrable at the same time. I would later discover that whatever mystery they had lay in the fact that their musicianship was deceptively brilliant, and more or less unparalleled. My young ears simply couldn't understand what was going on. I couldn't understand how a song like Stage Fright resonated with me, becuase I certainly had never heard anything like it on the radio. I couldn't undrestand how I felt such a connection to a band without a clear leader, because hero worship was something I was very into at the time (see: Eddie Vedder, Jimmy Page, Bob Dylan). The Band's music was instinctively mature - something I was not, but something I needed to become (or at least try).

But, just as the Band's music was steeped in integrity, so too was their decision call it quits. The Last Waltz was the finale. They are one of the few bands that has never fully reformed, despite the obvious payday that would follow. However unfortunate this is for the fans, I think the absence of a reunion has kept their legacy in tact. Nobody will have to watch Robbie lose his speed, and nobody will have to see Garth miss a few notes in Tears of Rage. We're all better off this way. Suffice it to say, I never had dreams of an authentic live Band experience. I was content with the reality that live Band would only exist in my heart, my ears, and my mind. It would never be truly tangible.

Today, only three original members remain - Robbie Robertson, Garth Hudson, and Levon Helm. There is no way that these men will play together, and even if they did, their sound would be a shadow of what it was while Richard Manuel and Rick Danko were around. However, Band fanatics still have one last opportunity to taste the energy these five men once created - and that lies with Levon.

Several years ago, Helm decided to open his barn studio to the public for a series of intimate concerts. These shows - called Midnight Rambles, after the travelling minstrels Helm saw as a boy in rural Arkansas - propsered, and brought Helm's heavenly gifts back to the fore. The price of admission is not cheap, but again, this is the closest a Band fanatic can get to the real thing, and I think any of us will tell you that there's nary a price we wouldn't pay to have that. Midnight Rambles don't issue tickets. You are immediately added to a list after dropping the bills. I'm proud to say that, as of last night, I am on that list.

September 5th... Woodstock, NY... me... profoundly loving my life.

- Levon.

- the opening of a Midnight Ramble (I'm not sure what's going on with the kids).

Gnawing Passion

2009-06-04T20:06:00.000-07:00

Totally forgot to relay this story to you guys. This week at my afterschool class the smartest kid lost at the game we were playing. Another kid was making fun of him for losing, so he bit her forearm. It brke skin and proceeded to bleed all over the game board... which we later threw away. No one wants to play on a blood stained game board. The girl's arm was alright, minus the instant bruising, blood and teeth marks. The smart kid burst into tears right away and then the girl who was crying went over to him and said "don't worry.. it's okay."?!! wtf. My CoT barely reacted or scolded the kid. Maybe it's a common occurance or he has a biting problem. Who knows.

- as told by Jen Lisi.

Answer me!

2009-06-02T00:23:00.001-07:00

Three weeks ago I began teaching two evening classes at another school three times a week. These classes certainly make those days very long, but the kids are sweet and very engaged. Though I'm definitely TIRED at the end of these days, it's a real treat to hang out with some of these young'uns.

Ok, rewind three weeks to my first day. I arrived 30 minutes early for a small intro/orientation, and then got put in a classroom with a typed list of questions to ask my new students - who are all in the 4th to 6th grade range. That means none of them have been learning English for more than 3 years - keep that in mind.

These 20 questions were supposed to guage both their listening and speaking ability. I didn't end up using any of them. Here's a smattering of the 20 - I hope they convey the point I'm trying to get across.

Remember, the organizers of these classes prepared the questions in advance, assuming they were level-appropriate. I'm also not paraphrasing. The questions below are directly from the sheet, which I saved for this very opportunity.

1. What is the difference between western culture and Korean culture? (This could be a college essay).
2. What is the biggest stress in your life?
3. What country do you think will become a world super power in the future? Why?
4. Talk about a habit you have tried to break or foster.
5. What do you think is the biggest problem in Korea? Why?
6. What are some bad things about your personality?
7. What kind of food do you usually eat? Do you think the way you eat is healthy?
8. Does your father smoke? What do you think about smoking? (notice there is no hint at a mother being able to smoke...)

I hope this says something to you about the amount of pressure these kids have to learn our language. I give so many of them my utmost respect and admiration, because the truth is I - even as a 23 year old man - could not handle what they do on a daily basis.

p.s. - Hardly any of the beginner students could correctly answer when their birthday is.

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 11

2009-06-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

Nu metal.

(note* I was probably guilty of liking the first two tunes at one point. However, I ALWAYS hated Big Truck. That someone would ever decide that "BIG TRUCK!" is a suitable chorus will always be beyond me.)

Times were simple. Life was good.

The Obama Story

2009-05-30T00:42:00.000-07:00

All elementary school English teachers must make a visit to the local English Zone twice a year. This entails hanging out with a group of kids in different simulated environments, and having the same scripted discourse with each and every single one of them. I finished my time there last semester thinking - on account my co teacher telling me so - that I would never have to bare this torture again. That was nothing but a cruel tease. I did have to return, and it was just as mind-numbingly tedious as the first time. However, there was one thing that kept this recent experience at least a little exciting: The Obama Story.

I discovered The Obama Story almost immediately on my first day back. There it lay, quietly calling to me amongst all the other banal preparatory English texts. 'Could this be real?' I thought. 'No way!' But sure enough, it was everything I imagined it could be. A Korean-American author and Korean illustrator had basically put together a graphic novel depicting Barack Obama's life. It is amazing. Just imagine taking someone's very real life and putting it through some sort of anime playdough-shaper. In this case, we have the magical gift to life known as The Obama Story.

Here is the cover and some selected pages to whet your appetite.

(notice this is where he meets Michelle...)

Does the President or any of his people know this exists? I've seen a lot of things in Korea, but this ranks way up there in almost all categories... hilarity, ridiculousness, awkwardness, etc etc...

(Do yourself a favor and zoom in on that text if you can't read it. Korea!)

I Caved (Phish - Harry Hood - 10.21.95)

2009-05-29T19:14:00.000-07:00

1:30 - 8:45 is really all that matters. It's not for everyone, but goddamn is it powerful for those in its grasp... myself included.

Enjoy your weekend!

Pugilistic Proclivities

2009-05-28T20:07:00.000-07:00

I know that I've already detailed my students' love for violent physical contact, but I feel that I must update now that their tactics have changed. Yes, the hitting still goes down. However, I've realized that most of the intra-student hitting has been confined to girl on boy situations. Boys, for the most part, are not assaulting each other with the viciousness that they recieve from the girls. But, the boys are most definitely still hurting each other.

I've noticed a massive uptick in what I call 'pain games' amongst the dudes. Now I don't want to make it seem like these are a phenomenon unique to Korea. I absolutely played my fair share of bloody knuckles and indian rug burn when I was a little son-of-a-bitch. Little boys fuck around in the same way that small animals do. It's fun, sure, but there's a tangible proving ground element as well. All boys want to know who can hit the hardest, run the fastest, and take the most pain. It's part of growing up, though, it's somewhat disquieting that these tendencies really never leave most men. If anything, they just get watered down with maturity. I can't believe that they ever fully die.

Korean 'pain games' are pretty standard. The two most popular are 'the two finger stinger' and 'the third eye'- as I call them. In the 'stinger,' two opponents will square off in a wicked rock/paper/scissors match, and the loser must take bare a well-practiced two-finger slap to the bound underbelly of the forearm. 'The third eye,' which I consider to be much more unfortunate, is also based off a r/p/s match, only this time the loser must take a vicious finger flick (think paper football) to the forehead. For some reason that seems like the absolute opposite of pleasant. A finger slap I can take, but an unchecked flick to my face... fucking forget about it!

I can't emphasize enough how commonplace these games are on a daily basis. I bet I could look up from this screen right now and see at least two games going on. Yes! Literally, right now there are four games happening around me, including one mixed-gender game - a pretty progressive move on the part of the players. But like so many things in elementary school, I get the distinct sense that these games are all part of a fad. Like pogs and Tickle-me-Elmo, I'm sure these pain games will blow away in the next few weeks. Fads, like pain games themselves, are certainly not confined to one part of the globe.

Finally, I want to shed light on the one difference I've seen between Korean pain games and American pain games: the amount of tears shed. In Korean pain games, someone inevitably cries. This is concrete. Now, in America I feel that nagging parents would have nipped this all in the bud by saying, "Don't start this, because one of you will surely start crying!" But Korean parenting doesn't work that way. Many women here have told me that parents' views on fighting are much more laissez faire. In short, many parents believe that fighting is natural, and that basic rough-housing provides an opportunity for personal growth. And how does that ethos manifest itself? Korean kids are fighting/hitting/flicking each other ALL THE TIME. And, like I said, one boy in the group will always cry.

So it's gotten to the point where I no longer care about kids crying, and I don't know how I should feel about it. On one hand, I partially agree that kids should learn some conflict resolution skills by actually getting their hands dirty. Parents could never simulate the intense pressure of having to face down a peer without a safety net - which is something every child will have to do sooner or later. On the other hand, a kid crying is a kid who's very very unhappy. Isn't it my role as a teacher to keep my students as happy as possible? It's a very bizarre situation. But then again - as I keep reminding myself - I'm not in Kansas anymore.

Help

2009-05-27T00:11:00.000-07:00

I want to find a band that equals Lettuce in terms of funk mastery. I am eagerly accepting recommendations now...

(yes, I've already heard Soulive, but I haven't travelled outside of Turn it Out. I could go deeper at your behest...)

It's on the books.

2009-05-26T06:27:00.001-07:00

There's one thing I've fantasized about all this year, and now I can officially mark it on a calendar. On September 8, 2009 I will return to my second home - the magnificent, the inspired, the marvel that is the great state of Vermont.

Dynamic Ulleung-do

2009-05-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

There's not many places in Korea I want to visit more than the island of Ulleung. Korea's two major island destinations are Ulleung and Jeju - with the former being the less travelled, less exotic, and generally less appealing option. It is for this reason that I'm excited to go there.

Ulleung's main draw to Koreans, ironically, is another island. It is only from Ulleung that you can access Dokdo - Korea's football field-sized land dispute with Japan. Koreans are obsessed with Dokdo, but I detailed that in a previous post. I imagine I will be one of the few on my trip who has really no interest in taking the viewing tour of the embattled island, and I couldn't be happier about that.

Ulleung fascinates me because it is a perpetually overlooked island community in a country that gives no mind to also-rans. There's almost no appreciation for hidden treasures here, and I find that stifling. That's what Ulleung is to me. Or, at least what I hope it will be. I have no idea how I'll make it up there with my schedule, but I'm damn sure going to try.

Anyway, Korea's 'official' tourism website has a write-up that is not to be missed. Readers take note: this is a typical Korean tourist propaganda. Nobody here has any sense that Korea's English tourism slogans are totally bizarre. For example, Korea's national English slogan is 'Korea Sparkling.' What?! The city of Busan went with this gem: 'Dynamic Busan.' Again, what?! Hey, they're trying, and that's what matters. I must always remind myself that. Sorry, I digress. Here's the first paragraph of the tourism website's write up. It's certainly not what sold me, but maybe some other people out there will get pumped about Ulleung's 'three fews, and five manys.'

A mysterious island full of dreams and romance, Ullengdo can be reached by a three-hour ferry ride from Mukho or Pohang. It is famous for being a land of three fews and five manys: there are no thieves, pollution, and snakes, but many Juniper trees, beautiful women and stones as well as much wind and water.

Beyond Whistler

2009-05-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

In a surprsing move, Ethan Hawke wrote a startlingly good piece on one of his heroes in last month's Rolling Stone. The subject - Kris Kristofferson - is as inspiring as any one man could be. He is a man who can hardly thank luck for anything he has achieved. His success is the direct result of a seemingly unbridled talent, and cast iron sense of self. Despite past shortcomings, he seems to have emerged as integrity embodied.

We meet our hero backstage at a birthday bash for Willie Nelson in the not too distant past. The story that follows is as righteous and rock and roll as anything I've read in the pages of this hallowed rock rag. I found it so amusing that I just had to include it below. If you like what you've read, then I heavily suggest you head over to rollingstone.com for the rest. Enjoy.

Standing backstage at the Beacon Theatre in New York, leaning against a crumbling brick wall in the dark, I could barely see Kris Kristofferson standing to my left. Willie Nelson was in the shadows to my right. Ray Charles was standing beside Willie, idly shifting his weight back and forth. A bit farther along the wall were Elvis Costello, Wyclef Jean, Norah Jones, Shelby Lynne, Paul Simon and respective managers, friends and family. Everybody was nervous and tight. We were there for Willie Nelson's 70th birthday concert in 2003.

Up from the basement came one of country music's brightest stars (who shall remain nameless). At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age.

"Happy birthday," the Star said to Willie, breezing by us. As he passed Kristofferson in one long, confident stride, out of the corner of his mouth came "None of that lefty shit out there tonight, Kris."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Kris growled, stepping forward.

"Oh, no," groaned Willie under his breath. "Don't get Kris all riled up."

"You heard me," the Star said, walking away in the darkness.

"Don't turn your back to me, boy," Kristofferson shouted, not giving a shit that basically the entire music industry seemed to be flanking him.

The Star turned around: "I don't want any problems, Kris — I just want you to tone it down."

"You ever worn your country's uniform?" Kris asked rhetorically.

"What?"

"Don't 'What?' me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer." He paused just long enough to get a full chest of air. "I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, no, you have not. Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not. So shut the fuck up!" I could feel his body pulsing with anger next to me. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about!"

"Whatever," the young Star muttered.

Ray Charles stood motionless. Willie Nelson looked at me and shrugged mischievously like a kid in the back of the classroom.
Kristofferson took a deep inhale and leaned against the wall, still vibrating with adrenaline. He looked over at Willie as if to say, "Don't say a word." Then his eyes found me.

"You know what Waylon Jennings said about guys like him?" he whispered.
I shook my head.
"They're doin' to country music what pantyhose did to finger-fuckin'."

200th Post.

2009-05-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

So I've made it this far with Hyundaiprop blog, and I'm proud of that. Well, sort of. Not too long ago I thought blogs were for self-important hacks, so maybe that's what I've become. Either way, I can't think of a better way to celebrate than exposing the world to Pete Postlewaite - a great actor, and the reason I so often win games of celebrity trivia.

Did you know?

2009-05-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

I once dated a girl in high school who was obsessed with Aerosmith's Joe Perry. I had never really given him much thought, though I found it strangely endearing that this blonde high-school chick was so into a middle aged man. In retrospect, I'm not sure that it said anything good about her, but at the time I thought it made her exotic. Reality taught me that her J. Perry crush was actually a manifestation of the way she lived her life: constantly questing after some romantic ideal that was completely unpractical. But that was then, and now I haven't spoken to her in 6 years, save a few facebook correspondences.

Anyway, I got thinking about her, so I wikipedia'd (another bizarre 21st century verb) Joe Perry. Some may think that a bizarre move, but it made total sense to me. I'm actually really glad I did, because I found out a totally out-there fact about the man who Rolling Stone magazine claims is in the top 60 guitarists of all time. He routinely records songs playing a six-string bass like a guitar - chords and all. So think about that the next time you're pumping your fist to "Train Kept-a-Rolling."

p.s. - Keith Richards used to remove the low E string from his guitar, so as not to disrupt from his velveteen leads. That, and he was probably trashed all the time, and knew that he might tap a booming E in the middle of a slop-fest solo. Good times.

Steve Earle - Coppertown

2009-05-21T19:04:00.000-07:00

Steve Earle - Coppertown

Before he was a voice of reason on "The Wire", Steve Earle was writing some of America's most cogent and politically charged folk rock. I had known of his work for some time, but never took the plunge. You know how it goes.

Discovering illegal downloading changed this, and finally allowed me to pursue the fringe of my interests by removing stinginess as an excuse. Don't get me wrong, I think buying music is important. We spend money everyday on things we resent, so why not occasionally drop some bills on something like music - an item whose sole purpose is to give us joy? I feel that small, upcoming artists need my money, whereas Earle doesn't. But I could be wrong on both accounts. My point is that I would have waited months before I could financially justify buying this album, and it's an all around good thing that I didn't have to.

Rhetoric aside, Coppertown is as solid an album as their could be. The vibe is consistent, the songs are strong, and the lyrics are as pure as the salt Earle himself comes from. Though it is certainly not for everyone. Indie rock fans may be turned off by the overtly radio-ready production. It's true that certain songs scream "John Mellencamp's opener". But make no mistake, this is much smarter than anything that makes it's living on FM or John Mellencamp's coat-tails.

Is this Harpya?

2009-05-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I gave my 5th/6th grade afterschool class a mad lib. The idea was for them see what a possible phone conversation might look like in English. I gave them the structure, and they were supposed to fill in various nouns, adjectives, and verbs. For example, A: I want to cook _________ tonight, but I don't have any _____________. B: Oh that's ok, I have a lot of ____________________. I think you get the picture.

I told the kids to be creative, and that they could literally put anything they wanted in the boxes, no matter how ridiculous. Making sense was not exactly the point. However, this type of brash creativity seemed to startle everyone. The looks on their faces screamed, "you mean, there no right or wrong answer?!?" That notion was completely alien to all of the students... except my man Taek-hyun. I've mentioned Taek-hyun before on this blog, mostly for his butt-poking proclivities. Regardless of his over-active ddooksheens, he is a very smart, creative boy. He's basically a joy to have in class. And unlike everyone else, he had no problem with the mad lib. In fact, he loved it.

Here's a snippet of said mad lib.

A: Hello? Is this "Harpya"?
B: Speaking.
A: Oh, how are you?
B: I'm "hungry". How is your son, "basilisk"?
A: He is "hungry". Thank you for asking.
B: Wow! The weather today is "yellow sand". I'm very "sad" about it.

These are the words of one of Korea's future leaders.

Not necessary, but worthy.

2009-05-18T05:08:00.000-07:00

It seems as if Hollywood has been on a major remake/refurbish kick for the last several years. Most of these attempts failed horribly. In this case I'm talking about the likes of King Kong, Bad News Bears, Shaft, Four Brothers, The Longest Yard, Planet of the Apes, and dozens more. But sometimes successful remakes happen, timeless stories receive worthy adaptations that keep them socially vibrant. In my opinion, such films include The Thomas Crown Affair, I am Legend, 3:10 to Yuma, and maybe a dozen others. Maybe.

I've recently been watching a spate of older flicks, and I've fantasized about what some of them might look like remade with today's gadgets. Now, any movie is trash with the wrong cast under the wrong director. But, if done right, some of these flicks could be top notch viewing. Here are three that would rock, including a round out of the modern cast.

Bullitt - Brad Pitt, Sienna Miller, Mark Ruffalo, Jon Voight, Richard Jenkins, Ben Affleck (redemptive role)

The Conversation - Christian Bale, James Franco, Paul Giamatti, Brandon Routh, Anne Hathaway, Mickey Rourke (surprise as straight man)

Three Days of the Condor (new name: Condor) - Chris Pine, Freida Pinto, Emilio Estevez (making a triumphant return), William H. Macy, Armand Assante, Shannon Sossamon, Brendon Sexton III

...finally, and I know this is not based in any reality, Richard Linklater will be tapped to helm a subtle remake of "The Big Chill". In doing so he re-unites certain members of the "Dazed and Confused" cast. Therefore...

The Big Chill (new name: Mercer's Bay) - make fun of me later - Matthew McConnaughey, Matt Damon, Adam Goldberg, Casey Affleck, Parker Posey, Charlotte Gainsborough, Sarah Jessica Parker, Mary Louise Parker

I Don't Know Who This Is

2009-05-16T17:37:00.001-07:00

I have no idea who this guy is or what he does, but just judging from this picture I'd say he's the coolest Korean I've ever seen. Can't you just feel the hipster comtempt oozing out of him?

Hangman

2009-05-15T03:32:00.000-07:00

All Korean elementary school children go batshit-crazy for hangman. They're are super super pumped to play this game at every opportunity. I use it sparingly, but believe me, there's nothing better in a clutch.

A Typical Scenario in Korea

2009-05-15T03:27:00.000-07:00

So today is a national holiday known as 'Teacher's Day' which is, not suprisingly, a celebration of all things teacher. We are showered with gifts that, for me, have ranged from donuts to socks to tooth paste, and general good vibes are sent our way all day. But here's the catch: we must work all day, while the students all get to leave school at noon. What is the logic behind this? My co-teacher claims it's so all the high school and middle school students can visit old teachers at other schools. I mean, what better way to celebrate teachers than let them go home and relax? I guess that's the westerner in me. (grumble).

What we're all wondering... thanks Tina.

2009-05-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

So I know a person who had been teaching in Seoul for a year, but just left in February. I knew her casually at best, and I certainly had no idea she was a writer. It turns out she's a gifted one at that. She recently made a post on her blog about how it feels to return from the year of doing what we do. In brief, it is marvelous, everything about it. Furthermore, it addresses so many concerns/curiosities I'm having, and I assume others are having as well. These are the things we think about, just framed beautifully. Do yourself a favor and give it a read.

http://christina-fabiano.blogspot.com/

post title: Then I sat on my couch and didn't get up...

Album Rec: Amiina - Kurr

2009-05-14T20:20:00.000-07:00

I am and have always been a huge Sigur Ros fan. If you haven't heard them then you should stop reading right now and go buy/download/steal their albums "Takk" and "()". If you are already a fan, and good music to you can correspond with these words - pastoral, searching, organic, contemplative, drifting - then I think it wise to discover Amiina's "Kurr". Oh yea, did I mention they're also Icelandic?

Over the Top

2009-05-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

I can't attest for the older set, but I can say this: elementary-age Korean girls love arm wrestling. Well, sorry, all elementary school kids - at least at my school - love to arm wrestle at any turn. I remember this being the case in the US as well. But, I don't remember the girls ever going to palm to palm back home. I couldn't tell you why exactly, it just never seemed like something that was happening - or expected. So right, not the case in Korea.

I bet I can glance up from this screen and see two girls wrestling right now: yep. And it's not a joke for them. It's not like they would do it to impress/entertain a group of boys. My experience shows me that elementary age girls in Korea want 100% nothing to do with boys. It really seems like they detest them, though we all know that's hardly the case. No, these girls go at it to see who's stronger. They're arm wrestling purists, if you will. Though part of me thinks it's more of a self-entertainment thing. It could be that they're seated, maybe a little bored, and an arm wrestle tides them over. I would love some thoughts on the matter. Either way, I've never seen so many wholly earnest female arm wrestling mathces in my life.

A Harsh Reminder

2009-05-14T19:35:00.001-07:00

Recently I've been thinking a lot about eating Korean food when i arrive back on US soil. I've grown enormously connected to the food here, and having access to it back home will be an invaluable part of my transition. So I took to the internet to see what my options looked like in the Washington D.C. area. Luckily Korean food is plentiful there, even confusingly so. I don't even know where to start.

While that is a comforting fact, my search has also drummed up unpleasant reminders of the world I am returning to in 3 short months. Koreandc.com is a website that has basically everything a Washingtonian would need if they were seeking out local Korean options. This includes a restaurant listing, and message/review boards for all the places listed. On one board - that for the Han Sung Oak Restaurant - I viewed this exchange.

My sisters and I ate there recently and was greatly disappointed. The service by the waitresses were horrible. In the middle of taking our order, she goes to the table next to us and wait on them. Being Korean ourselves, we've expected better. The food was not even worth it. Never would go back! - Kyung

Kyung. You are stupid. You think that just because you're korean, you should have gotten better service? I'm black, and when I go to South East, I get robbed just the same. FOOL! Besides, this food is awesome! I usually don't eat asian food, but momma told me to try everything at least once! I love that damn KALBI and BULGOGI. That stuff, when you wrap some of that KIMCHEE around that...MMM MMM. I say this again, Kyung, you are really stupid...and so is your momma. - PeteDog

*note - South East is a notoriously rough, heavily black area of Washington.

I love Han Sung Oak, and if ever saw someone like Kyung there being a lil punk, I'd kick his ass. You better buy me a shot when I see you at the clubs, or you're gonna get it. Ahn-young... - HyungJoo

I can't quite pinpoint why this whole exchange bothers me so much. You know, it's probably not that any of them are being out of line. They all probably have legitimate points to be made. Some restaurants subtly favor clientele with the ethnicity of whatever theme they may have. Some restaurants don't. And some restaurants don't give a damn either way. That's all common sense.

I guess what strikes me the most about this whole thing is the bravado oozing from PeteDog and HyungJoo. People just don't talk/act like that here, and I've become accustomed to it. Do I act with bravado and disprespect sometimes? Sure. But does that mean I can't wish to be more reserved and respectful? Absolutely not. Korea has instilled this in me. I guess I've been gone for a long time.

What is a lifetime

2009-05-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

I just read a story about Paul House, a man who had been on death row since 1985 and was actually released yesterday. That means Paul House had been on death row for almost the exact amount of time I have been alive. Sorry, that's kind of a heady thought. My whole life has unfolded while this man's has stagnated. Whoa.

Rage it.

2009-05-12T19:32:00.001-07:00

Couldn't Know Unless you were Here

2009-05-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

Koreans do not respond to, nor do they say "Bless you" when they sneeze. It's certainly not because this isn't a religious place. Many many Koreans are Christians who LOVE LOVE LOVE Jesus Christ, and more power to them. But still no acknowledgement of the sneeze. How is it that this happens in North American and not here? And how is it that we North Americans, most of whom are completely indifferent to relgiosity, have become engaged in a social tic that has us spouting non-secular jargon in the event of a nasal discharge?

English Zone Blues

2009-05-12T18:44:00.001-07:00

Korea's national English program is absolutely a point of contention with teachers here. Many agree with President Lee Myung bak that English is a tool the Korean people can use to gain a foothold in the international discussion. On the flip side, many teachers feel that asking students to learn a language they, or their parents, may feel indifferent to is arbitrary, inefficient, and unfortunate. I've asked scores of teachers how they feel on the issue, and so far their responses have been more or less down the middle. However, there is one issue all English teachers summarily resent: English Zones.

Koreans love the right gear in all pursuits, and the teaching of English is no different. If you're going to do something, you should be sure you're doing it with the best, flashiest accoutrements. Thus, education ministries across Korea are giving schools thousands of dollars to create what they call English Zones. These are basically room-sized diagrams of situations that would require English - the airport, a restaurant, a supermarket, a hotel. Once hired by schools, private companies will come in, make two rooms into one, and completely redesign these once-humble classrooms into gaudy, wholly artificial play sets that are supposed to promote English. I've always felt they just promote role-playing, but maybe that's the idea. Anyway, the English teachers (read: Korean English teachers) of Ulsan are up in arms because their ministry has asked them, and them alone to organize the entire construction of their school's English Zone.

These are people (mostly women) who went to college for education. They don't know anything about organizing a faux supermarket, and nor should they. My poor co-teacher, Sun Jung, has been stressed for months over the project. She routinely meets with contractors and building companies and basically gets talked at. Now, she's a total pro. I have no doubt she can pull this off. But still, it should never have been her responsibility in the first place. But, these English Zones are a really interesting microcosm for the whole English program here.

There's no precedent in Korea for how to organize a national curriculum of this nature. So how do things go forward? People make decisions based on educated guesses and/or assumptions. But here's the problem: individual teachers have no avenue to lodge a complaint/criticism if they feel something is not working. Korea's hierarchical ways reign supereme in all aspects of society, and the education world is no different. And now these English Zones have created a community of anxious, overworked teachers who feel consumed by a project they neither understand, or necessarily agree with. Furthermore, nothing will change unless, by chance, the suits basking in the ministries just happen to feel that a change must be necessary. Until then, Korean English teachers will dutifully teach as they're told to, even if they know better.

Though I don't want it to seem as if I'm complaining. I know my tone is critical, but I know even less about the zones than Sun Jung does. Maybe studies have been done that prove their efficacy. I don't know. I also don't want it to seem as if I'm knocking Korea's hierarchical ways. Confucianism, which is essentially the moral and social code of Korea, is built on fixed hierarchical relationships. These relationships will never disappear in Korean society. Everyone seems to accept that, so I can as well. It just gets back to that idea I harp on all the time: not better or worse, just different.

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 10

2009-05-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

This man, while still very attractive sans shirt, actually made earnest attempts at real acting. I still like him either way, but I'm just saying... Regardless, nothing he does from now to eternity could detract from the sheer mastery that is David Wooderson. Times were simple. Life was good.

Absence of negatives

2009-05-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

awkwardfamilyphotos.com... you're welcome.

Jerry Douglas - medley

2009-05-08T00:53:00.000-07:00

I mention Jerry Douglas in the below post, and it occurs to me that some, if not most, of you have no idea who he is. This video should do all the explaining. He is probably one of the most brilliant musicians I've ever come across. Many, including Alison Krauss, go as far as calling him the greatest dobro play "the world has ever known." I've certainly not heard better.

Let's head up to Uke in the booth

2009-05-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

So I recently recieved a Ukulele and I basically can't keep my hands off it. Today I walked the full 15 minutes from school clutching it and playing different chord progressions. Some people smiled, some frowned, and some took their shirts off. Ok, that was only me. Not really. Anyway, I can tell I'm about to learn dozens of songs on this thing, and my fascination only seems to be growing. I stumbled across this guy Jake Shimabukuro who I understand is something like the Jerry Douglas of the ukulele, and while he's pretty clearly a goober, his playing is damn fine. Enjoy.

A Night out with the Co-workers

2009-05-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

Korean school staffs take many lunch/dinner trips out. Some are paid by the principle, and some are split by one of the teachers at the table. Koreans don't go dutch. It's just not their style. Usually, in my experience, the person who makes the most money will foot the bill. Thankfully most lunches or dinners out will be at a barbecue joint, and the costs will never get too crazy.

The consumption of soju, on the other hand, does tend to get a bit crazy, especially at the dinners. Many foreign teachers will tell you that you haven't really communed with your school staff here unless you've hit the 'soj' with them at dinner. It's an awesome experience for the most part. People's lips get a bit looser, you'll hear English from people you had no idea spoke it, and merriment will genuinely be had by all. But don't assume that the fun ends with the bill, it almost never does.

Koreans know how to keep things going late into the night, and that almost invariably means noraebong (singing room). Have I discussed noraebong yet on this blog? If I haven't then that's a true crime. In brief, Koreans love noraebongs just as much as they love soju. These are not karaoke bars per se. They are enclosed rooms where you take a group and indulge in some private karaoke, plus the lyrics are shown on a wall-sized tv screen instead of a dinky 12-inch. It's very intense. Sometimes it's fun, but it's one very Korean thing I feel will always remain theirs, and probably theirs alone.

Anyway, you'll almost always hit the noraebong post-dinner. Everyone will be soused, and in a perfect place to belt out their favorite meladramatic Korean ballad. The presence of a lone foreigner is exciting because we bring the English hits to the fore. This is one case where my pseudo-music snobbery really hurts me. I always feel as if I can't lower myself to ripping a top 40 ballad, which is ofcourse what everyone wants. Furthermore, I'm usually pretty in the dark about the melody from most of these tunes. So sue me, I've never really been a top 40 guy. But this is the worst ramble in the history of this blog.

People are drunk at the noraebong, and usually secrets get told and bold moves get made. For example, I was told about a staff crush at my last Mipo elementary noraebong run. I never capitalized, but I certainly would have never been told in any other situation. It's like the noraebong doubles as a sacred space where you can say or do anything and it will go unjudged. I could really think for hours about the social implications/symbolism of the noraebong in Korean culture.

This whole post came to be because I read a facebook status from my friend Kerry which perfectly described a typical night like this. So after long last, here it is...

Kerry Maher > Sam Kuntz: We drank many alcohols at dinner! I think the competition mode was still in play after the volleyball game (side note: these are always a solid reason to hit the dinner/norae scene). After the two schools split up after dinner, our principal and vice-principal "commanded" we go to singing room and I ended up drinking "love-shots" with the vice principal. After THAT, we went to a hof and two teachers who have been flirting for six months finally took the plunge and.......held hands. Everyone was so happy for them.

A Joy

2009-05-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

The parents brought me a full bag of Frosted Mini Wheats, and I just had a very emotional time pouring my first bowl in nearly 8 months. Am I the first person ever to be on the verge of tears over a bowl of cereal?

You think you know

2009-05-05T22:55:00.001-07:00

I had no school this past Monday and Tuesday, plus my parents were in town, so we took a nice long weekend on a far-flung island in the south sea. I had a lot to be excited about. Obviously my parents visit meant a lot to me, and I felt enormous pride in my role as a tour guide around this bizarre, albeit wondrous country. I had also never been to the southern islands. Any map of Korea will show you that pretty much the entire southern coast is lined with islands of various sizes, and living in a city gives you basically no clue as to how they are. While I couldn't have known what to expect, I had a sinking fear that the southern coast's supposed beauty was a guide book fiction, and that the trappings of modern Korea - love motels, barbecue joints, dingy hofs, family marts - had swept away any remaining bucolic wonder.

The southern sea is, in fact, very very beautiful. Of course you'll see the hofs and such here and there, but somehow tastefulness has held out in large extent. I needed the surprise, and my parents - who were fresh off a stay in Maui - needed to see that Korea could crank up the splendor after all. I had bitterly warned them that the whole country was too city-centered to breed any sort of worthwhile tourist attraction in its rural areas. This may be true in land, but is certainly not the case where we were. My shock was palpable, and absolutely necessary. My curiosity in Korea has been reinvigorated.

Our weekend provided me with tons of stories for my city crew, but one stands out as the most informative. My folks and I took down a great bottle of red wine in full view of an ocean sunset on our last night. It was cliche and lovely and all that bullshit, yea yea. Anyway, these two Korean boys - I assume they are brothers - burst through the deck doors and began chasing each other around our table. None of us really minded, and I saw it as a good chance for my parents to see that Korean kids are not always the hardened, worker drones they can sometimes be. Not long after their appearance, a Korean man who was clearly their father emerged and summoned them back in to join the family at dinner. I didn't expect much from him in the way of communication, just perhaps an awkward smile with a subtle, apologetic bow. Not the case. In crystal clear, unaccented English the man says, "Hey I'm really sorry for these kids. I hope they weren't a problem. I'm bringing them in right now." And all of a sudden we're on any other hotel patio in America's mid Atlantic region. We were taken aback and he knew it. It was an undeniably surreal moment.

But I learned something very valuable. My friends and I - really, me in particular - must make a much better effort to censor ourselves in public places. It's no secret that many of us have grown comfortable with the idea that nobody around here can follow our English at its natural cadence. Sure, many people you meet in Korea will probably know a manageable amount of English. But will they inevitably ask you to slow down if you speak at your comfortable converstation speed? Yes, absolutely. I always believed - though I was always loathe to admit it - that this gave me a degree of carte blanche in public conversation. That is a habit I will now break because of my experience with that man. In a crowded Ulsan bus I would have had no way of telling that he was any different from all the other middle aged dudes who know 10 English sentences. And god knows what I might have said in front of him. I will not let false assumptions about others' English ability allow me to further anyone's negative stereotypes about foreigners. My bus rides just became a lot more boring.

Keep your panties on, ladies...

2009-04-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

Pat Metheny Group - Jaco

An epic song from unquestionably one of the sexiest men in music... ever.

*thanks again, Jeff.

A Karl Rove quote I can get behind...

2009-04-29T05:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight I checked out a recent Karl Rove interview on youtube assuming, per usual, that he would dismiss every Democratic idea and basically not peer one inch over his party line. Not only was that not entirely the case, but he actually said something I completely agreed with. I feel, and have always felt, that 100 days is an absurd timetable to throw at any president. Even if a President's first 3 months are successful in the eyes of the people, god knows what will happen in the remaining 3.75 years he/she is around. I mean, who could have predicted in March 2001 what our new President would have to deal with that September. Who knows what Obama will be faced with this September, or beyond? We should all just hope for the best, and more to the point, we should hope that the United States is on its way to recovery by the time Obama ends his first term. That will be his legacy, not this ridiculously magnified first three months. Anyway, here's what Karl had to say...

"Let’s step back here. Whether it’s domestic or international, this 100 days is an artificial deadline. It’s a construct that the media has. The White House – every White House – prepares for it endlessly; develops story lines, prepares spinners, gets everybody out there working from top to bottom. But in reality, the first 100 days is not a lot of time for any administration to begin to set things in concrete. We saw this, for example, with Bill Clinton, who started off with a very bad first 3 months, and then recovered. And Jimmy Carter, who started out with a pretty good first 100 days, and then deteriorated after that." - Karl Rove defending the Obama administration amidst questions about its first 100 days.

Dongcheem... yea whatever.

2009-04-29T00:29:00.000-07:00

I've written before about my male students' proclivity for poking each other, and me, in the buttcrack. It's a ritual that seems as old as time here. It's officially called dongcheem (pronounced dthong-cheem)and it's everywhere. Like I said, I've written about it before so I'll spare you the details.

One boy has risen to the top of the dongcheem ranks, at least when it comes to attacks on me. His name is Taek Hyun. He is merciless. But the thing you need to understand about him is that he's totally harmless. He's somehow figured out a way to ass-poke me without me even minding. He even has me laughing at him by now.

Yesterday I had his afterschool class working on constructing their family trees. He was a little confused about the idea of cousins, so I dutifully went over to clear up the issue. I slowly explained the breakdown to him using clear examples and animated body language. He simply looked at me for a second, nodded, and poked two fingers into my ass. Dongcheem! And then he got back to work. No celebratory laugh, chortle, or fist pump. Nothing. Just a check of my oil and back to business. He's a good man.

Morning Tunes 4/29

2009-04-29T00:21:00.000-07:00

Artist: Motel Motel
Song: Coffee
Album: Old York EP

Amen!

2009-04-28T00:00:00.001-07:00

I play a lot open mics, which means I perform and hear a slew of covers. They're necessary in the life of a young musician. Now I always try to play covers with integrity. Not that my performance of them has integrity, but that I feel good enough about the songs that I can hide behind them. This usually means that I don't play a lot of fan favorites. I did for a while, but then I abruptly stopped when I realized nobody was listening anymore than when I was tearing through obscure Whiskeytown songs - which I would much rather be playing/hiding behind. Regardless, I have warbled my way through classics like Wonderwall, Old Apartment, Tiny Dancer, The Gambler etc. Having been there, I can tell you that some covers need to be put to rest. These are songs that have been covered so many times that there is little arable land left on their creative field. They are essentially the New Jersey of songs. I recently discovered a great piece on pastemagazine.com about this very topic. Here is what they have to say...

We’ve got nothing against cover songs. In fact, we love a good unexpected cover. But certain songs should be retired after a couple hundred versions. We hereby declare a moratorium on covering the following ten songs.

10. U2 “One”
Just picture it: an over-earnest bar singer propped up in the corner with his music stand and his bulging folder of song lyrics, closing his eyes during the chorus and actually thinking that he can solve the world’s problems by covering Bono’s inspirational hit.

9. Nancy Sinatra “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’”
Dear Jessica Simpson: Your boots are so worn out that you can barely walk in them anymore, and we never want to hear about them ever again. You should stick to designing boots.

8. Fleetwood Mac “Landslide”
It’s not that we have a problem with the Smashing Pumpkins’ or the Dixie Chicks’ versions—it’s everything in between.

7. Oasis “Wonderwall”
Covered by Jay-Z, Ryan Adams, Howie Day, Cat Power, The Beastie Boys, and—most unfortunately—Cartel.

6. Gnarls Barkley “Crazy”
Though the Ray LaMontagne version is kinda cool, the original song was played constantly on the radio for a year, and that was enough. Plus, some would argue that the song’s success lies in its delivery, not the melody.

5. Britney Spears “Oops I Did It Again”
It’s not funny to cover a song simply to be ironic or cute.

4. The Beatles “Hey Jude”
This one is especially annoying when the singer in question gets drunk on the power of leading that crowd singalong part.

3. Bob Dylan “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door”
If only because Guns N’ Roses perfected it, so there's really no need for anyone else to attempt a cover.

2. Lynyrd Skynyrd “Freebird”
Because if bands aren’t allowed to cover it, then drunk frat boys will have no reason to request it!

1. Leonard Cohen “Hallelujah”
Enough with the covers of Jeff Buckley’s cover of Leonard Cohen’s masterpiece. It’s a beautiful song, no doubt, but “Hallelujah” has to be the most overdone encore for singer-songwriters. We’re even getting tired of hearing Brandi Carlile sing this song. And we don't get tired of Brandi Carlile very easily.

Hang him!!!

2009-04-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

It has to be said. There should probably be a coup if we (who?) decide that Obama's first 100 days were not up to snuff. I mean, how could he have tricked us into thinking that he could fix everything right away? Damnit! Those other 1360 days hardly even matter. He might as well just play basketball the whole time. 100 days or bust!

Bear in a Bucket

2009-04-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

I have the good fortune of being friends with a pair of beautiful, charming Korean women, and we have a tradition where they take me to a 'very' Korean restaurant during weekends. I say 'very' Korean because it's important to me that we hit up places most foreigners would be too intimidated to try. Not only do I get a kick from the exclusivity of the affair, but the food is usually orgasmic as well.

Last Sunday's adventure was no different. We headed about 35 minutes outside of the city and ended up at a very peculiar place. It was essentially 1/2 restaurant and 1/2 'historical village'. The servers dressed in their actual clothes, but the whole thing had a very theme-y vibe. Duck was the name of the game, but not just any duck, this restaurant made its reputation by putting tender slices of roasted duck inside a cooked pumpkin. Doesn't sound appetizing? It absolutely was. But the food ended up being half the fun.

Afterwards we discovered a greenhouse and somebody let me know I could buy a scented candle there. Don't ask me why I was in the market for one, I was, so I headed over. While perusing the isles of greenery I discovered the true trump card of the afternoon: two baby bears in a large bucket. BEARS! Somehow this greenhouse/insense/candle shop had arranged to display two baby bears during shopping hours. So naturally a crowd gathered, pictures got snapped, and people even held the bears like babies. While I found the display a little sad, I couldn't help but take a shot coddling a bear. I mean, who do you know who has coddled a bear? At one point I even let a bear teethe on my finger. My finger was in a bear's mouth. Yes! What did you do Sunday night?

Morning Tunes 4/28

2009-04-27T17:07:00.000-07:00

Artist: Great Lake Swimmers
Song: Various Stages
Album: Bodies and Minds

Pegboy -Through My Fingers

2009-04-24T21:46:00.000-07:00

This song is absolutely in my top favorite 5 punk tunes. I pretty much just want to be in this band - in any roll. The video is trash, so just listen to the song. Sorry I'm going to so video crazy. This will be the last for at least another week, I promise.

Iron Mike

2009-04-24T05:24:00.000-07:00

I watched "Tyson" nearly 24 hours ago and I'm still thoroughly in its grip. I don't think I've been as mentally and emotionally possessed by a documentary since "Fahrenheit 9/11". I am still, after hours of reflection, completely conflicted as to how I should feel about Mike Tyson. You find yourself immediately drawn to him, and then repulsed just as quickly. The whole thing was basically an event of visceral contrasts, at least for me. I felt equal parts warmth and shear terror. Ok look, I still am not sure how to feel about him, so I'll leave it at that. Please see this movie and let me know what you think. It's utterly mesmerizing.

Bela Fleck and the Flecktones - Big Country

2009-04-23T20:59:00.001-07:00

Someone once told me this song 'is life'. Now, that's clearly an absurd thing to say. No one song could ever be life, except perhaps "The Gambler". Still, this song is timeless and achingly beautiful... more so than most. Enjoy.

Hold on... I gotta let one go.

2009-04-23T20:20:00.001-07:00

This morning I saw a curious thing on my way to school. There's a small boy - maybe in 2nd grade - who always happens upon me as I'm turning the final corner on my route. We usually exchange pleasant smiles, and laugh at funny faces we trade back and forth. It's all very stimulating.

I see men peeing in public all the time here. Thankfully their backs are turned to the public, but it's no mystery what's going on. Nobody seems to care, and neither do I. Then this morning I saw my little buddy doing exactly that. He had positioned himself in between a minivan and a building, and was casually urinating. This would have hardly been shocking had it been an old man. But there was something bizarre about seeing such a small person engaged in an old-er person's activity. It would have been like happening upon a 7 year old playing street craps or sneaking a cigarette on his lunch break. I don't know why I reacted this way, but I did. So he finished and caught up to me with his usual jolly grin. I started laughing, and I got the sense he knew what was up.

Why couldn't he have peed at his house? I mean usually older people publicly relieve themselves out of desperation, indifference, or drunkeness. Could my friend have felt one of these things? Was he indifferent? Does he do that often? These are questions I would love to ask him. Moments like those make me feel lucky I landed in elementary school. I wasn't happy about it at first, but now I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Hey remember that... before the recession? Pt. 9

2009-04-23T19:59:00.001-07:00

This man had limitless ability to make cynical, disenfranchised college girls feel weak in the knees. Times were simple. Life was good.

Let's get buffed!

2009-04-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

Joining a gym has probably been the most interesting thing I've done since my travelling spurt in January/February. The gym is, for the most part, the same as any gym you would find in the states. There's a row of treadmills, a row of bikes, a smattering of machines, and a designated free weight area. The whole gym also looks over an alluring pool that I still need to build up the courage to use. I'm not afraid of the pool, just of the choppy, broken English I'll need to employ to get past the women at the desk. All this is not what's exciting. The locker room and the muscle buffers are the real attractions.

I'll say right now that I'm not entirely comfortable sharing with the world what goes on in a Korean men's locker room. While it's nothing too shocking, let's just say that the grooming regimen of most Korean men is a bit more detailed than I'm used to. I will however discuss the strangest in-gym apparatus I've ever seen: the muscle buffer.

My gym has three muscle buffers and they're almost always in use. Essentially the muscle buffer is a thick strap attached to mechanic knobs that rotate at a furious speed. Can you picture drying your lower back with a thin length of towel by pulling it back and forth? This is basically what goes down, but much more aggressively. At first glance it seems as if the people are in a state of semi-convulsion, but with faces completely calm. The buffers are manufactured to reach almost all muscles. Many place them behind the lower back and on the shoulders, but there are the brave few who put them right on the ass. That's right, some people - mostly women - casually stand there as a strap angrily vibrates against their aged posteriors. It's a sight to behold.

Do I think the muscle buffer will catch on in the states? No. Will I give it a shot while I'm here? Probably... not. And I only say that out of fear that I'll like it too much.

Ridiculous English Shirt Sighting 4/24

2009-04-23T18:10:00.001-07:00

"Soldier Ape Said... Go Bape!"

I have no doubt that the boy wearing this shirt has no idea what a soldier or an ape are. And I have no idea what baping is.

Morning Tunes 4/24

2009-04-23T18:09:00.001-07:00

Artist: Band of Horses
Song: Is there a Ghost
Album: Cease to Begin

Morning Tunes 4/21

2009-04-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

Artist: Phish
Song: Halley's Comet
Album: Live Phish 1 Binghamton, NY

*note - one of the cooler segues I've heard them do. Comet > NICU.

Morning Tunes 4/20

2009-04-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

Artist: Old 97's
Song: Timebomb
Album: Too Far to Care

Silver Stallion

2009-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

The Reason I was a History Major

2009-04-19T06:44:00.000-07:00

Probably two of the funniest internet discoveries I've made so far. Yep, I've been there...

Drunk History vol. 2 - Featuring Jack Black from Jack Black

Drunk History 4 - Featuring Paul Schneider - watch more funny videos

Clear Thinking

2009-04-16T17:42:00.001-07:00

One of the joys I've had in Korea has been riding the high speed train that stretches lenthwise across the country. I always heard stories about such trains from friends in Europe and elsewhere, and the idea appealed to me for several reasons. First, I love trains. I love how smooth they are, and I've always found them more relaxing than a car on a long stretch. Second, I love the idea of moving peacefully at high speeds. I mean, who doesn't? Third, the history guy in me likes the idea that they come from a long historical tradition. Trains changed the world, and I'm genuinely pleased that they never faded into antiquity.

But they never caught on in America, and I get that. Cars were America's industry, and owning one was a right of passage for all Americans who considered themselves prosperous. Then 'the war' happened and 'a car in the driveway' became a bar that all Americans were supposed to strive for, prosperous or not. Cars humbled the American passenger rail business, but so did the sheer size of the country. Europe, Korea, and Japan all have successful passenger rail systems, but they're all quite small in comparison. Plus, their cars operate on gas bought at a much higher price than in America. Clearly trains make the most sense in places where distances and gas costs work in their favor, but does that mean we can't try? I have always felt/wished/hoped that trains would make a come back in American popular culture.

Has Obama made this a reality?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/17/us/politics/17train.html?hp

This is one of these political moves that I find inspiring simply because it appeals to common sense. A bolstered American passenger rail can pretty much do nothing but good, in my opinion. Of course Republicans will disagree with the idea because it's too New Deal-y, but screw 'em quite frankly. Anyway, check out the article...

I'll leave you with this passage as a clear example of why I love our president and the way he thinks...

"What we need, then, is a smart transportation system equal to the needs of the 21st century,” he said, “a system that reduces travel times and increases mobility, a system that reduces congestion and boosts productivity, a system that reduces destructive emissions and creates jobs.”

And he added, “There’s no reason why we can’t do this."

Bad ass.

Morning Tunes 4/17

2009-04-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

Artist: Erykah Badu
Song: On and On
Album: Baduism

"You said you would take me to see WuTang baby, so I braided my hair..." - Erykah Badu

Vomitus Operandi

2009-04-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

(pouring some soj)
I see people vomiting weekly. I see piles of vomit weekly. It's not like they're every block, but it's safe to say I've never been around so much vomit in my entire life. I don't mind this one bit. Vomit never really bothered me, in fact, I've had an inordinate amount of experience vomiting next to and coaching others engaged in a full upchuck. Let's just say I've clasped my fair share of ponytails. But again, this doesn't bum me out, not one bit.

Though I'm still surprised that it's as prevalent here as it is. Clearly the excessive drinking is to blame, which is another post untoitself. Nope, I've got time, so I'm going to write about it now. I've never seen people drink like Koreans. Or let me put it another way: I've never seen people get drunk like Koreans. Now, like most prominent features of Korean society, men are basically the standard-bearers. They are the ones leaning on each other while they stagger home at 1am on a weeknight. They are the ones you'll see through restaurant windows piling up the soju. They are the ones doing the puking. Well, at least in public. I have been drunk with Korean women, but I'm not held to the traditional male standard. I would be shocked to see men and women downing soju all together at a restaurant. Maybe it happens, but I've never seen it.

I have no idea why drinking is such a right of passage in Korea. I'll have to do some research and make an amended post later on. But make no mistake, MOST Korean men are getting drunk at least one night a week. And I mean TOTALLY WASTED. The kind of drunk that has you sitting on the sidewalk in protest because your friend accused you of being too drunk (I've seen this happen several times). The kind of drunk that had a man lunge at my friend on the subway, only to faceplant into his lap, spilling coffee all over both of them. It's a wild drunk that's not to be messed with. Any night in Korea is filled with these pseudo-zombie working men, and you must be wary of them. These men have spanked me on three occassions for speaking to my friends on the subway. It's fair to say they are one facet of this culture I won't miss.

Though I will miss the drinking culture that breeds their incessant inebriation. There's no such thing as tipping at a bar, and drinks are not hazardously marked up the way we're used to. Plus, those bars will stay open until all hours of the morning. I've been in several drinking holes here whose policy is to remain open until the last person leaves. Can you imagine that? It's a scary thought sometimes, especially considering the tattered state of our economy and the stress many feel as a result. 'No, it's ok. Stay and drink as long as you want. I won't leave you.' Or at least that's how I imagine it must sound to a drunk down on his luck. But I love it. I'm young and I have the stamina to make use of those flexible hours staying out doing god-knows-what with the friends I've accrued - most likely lying to ourselves about the 24 hour McDonalds we're eventually going to have.

But for some reason we won't throw it all up. My crew is not big on the vomiting and I think that's unfortunate. Perhaps it would help us fit in more. All jokes aside, you could puke on the street and hardly anyone would bat an eye. If that's not freedom I don't know what is.

Knotty

2009-04-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Friends of mine have begun to get accepted to grad schools and I'm conflicted about it. Of course I'm thrilled for them. These people worked hard and got exactly what they deserved. In that sense the whole thing has reaffirmed my sense of karmic justice. But I'm stressed. Did I make the right decision coming to Korea? In the long run, will I regret coming here and essentially taking a year off from career hunting and engaging my mind with study? I want to do more school, but I'm pretty sure teaching is not my call. But then again, I'm a history major who has never been certain of his call. Yes yes, such are the worries of so many other Arts and Sciences grads out there, but of course mine are all to real... to me. I don't think this experience will do much for resume. I mean, how can it? But that's not the point, right? The point is that I got out and saw a slice of life few from my station have seen. I've eaten things and spoken to people I could never have had I not gone ahead with this oriental adventure I'm on. But did I do it because I knew I was too afraid for responsibility right out of the gate? I'm having some serious waves of self-doubt if you can't tell. There's no real solution to what I'm talking about. Life will happen, and I will continue to exist within it. I need to learn to be more proactive. I need to learn to take on challenges with confidence instead of latent apprehension. I've always pledged to myself that I would keep this blog free from this kind of meladramatic drivel, but it is supposed to be a log of my Korea experiences, right? This is real. This is what a lot of my time has been about. Sometimes I'll walking around my class 'inspecting' students work, but my mind will actually be thousands of miles away pondering, percolating, doubting. I wonder if my co can tell? I don't care. Will it be hard languishing in grad school while my other friends have graduated and found career success? Yes, perhaps. I suspect a lot of things will be hard. That's to be expected. Enough mental/emotional diahrrea. Sorry.

Big is Beautiful

2009-04-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

This is a conversation my friend had with her Korean co-teacher. Let me be clear, the co-teacher's thinking is not bizarre or shocking to anyone who has taught here for some months. I mean, what is there to say about this?

(copy/pasted from a facebook thread)

CoTeacher: aw, you are so nice to help that boy.
Me: Oh, well I know that he needs help (because he's obviously special needs).
CoTeacher: Oh yes. He is very fat. (which he is but .... but...)

Morning Tunes 4/16

2009-04-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

Artist: Allman Brothers Band
Song: Desdemona
Album: Hittin the Note

*again, I just can't have enough Derek Trucks right now.